Em turned three!!

Emerson’s birthday party was absolutely adorable. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. My décor was gorgeous! Young, Wild, and Three was such a fun theme. I’m so glad I decided to do a party instead of going to that indoor pool. My parents, both sisters, nephew, and boyfriend all came to the party to celebrate. Em was so overwhelmed that by the time we tried to sing “Happy Birthday” he covered his ears. He and I ended up having cake and ice cream later after singing and doing candles ourselves. The cake was half-eaten, but that’s okay. He still got to make a wish and to blow out the candles.  Now, I have a three year old! I hear three is a lot worse than two. I’m trying to mentally prepare myself. I’m not sure there is enough preparation for that though. I better hold on tight. LOL

 

This morning, Em started preschool, however he was almost immediately sent home for puking. He has no fever and is fine. He ate and kept his breakfast down, so I’ll call that a fluke. I was pretty ticked. It happened right after I got off the bus. I had to get a ride home just to pick him up from daycare because my bus stops running after a certain point. Thank God my best friend’s boyfriend was around and could pick me up. He was so nice about it too. I posted on my facebook page asking if anyone could help. She immediately came to my rescue. I have amazing friends.

 

Speaking of friends, my best friend and I made amends. We are currently still not facebook friends, but she unblocked me, so that’s progress, right?  I just explained that I didn’t want to be on friendship punishment, therefore If we had to be friends like that, then what would be the point. She understood my perspective, we hashed it out, and that was that.

 

This weekend, we have a birthday party to attend. Other than that, we don’t have much planned. We went to Jump Zone last weekend. It was AWESOME! They had all of these bounce houses and slides for the kids. My nephew and Emerson had a ball. It was a part of Em’s birthday. It felt nice to actually get out to do something. We’ve been cooped up forever.

 

Alright, that’s about all I have. Have a great week, all!

 

Hearts in my eyes

I haven’t updated in forever and I’m sorry! I’m so crazy busy though! I swear, I never have five minutes. Anyway, I didn’t get that job even though I had to interviewed THREE times for the darn thing. Unreal, but it is what it is. I wasn’t even upset when I was told. I honestly think that it might have been too much with Em still being so small. I think I would have handled it fine, but having  to seek out help would have been difficult for me. I hardly ask for help as it is and the times that I do, I HATE it. Staying put seems like a better idea for right now. When the time is appropriate, I’ll consider attempting to look elsewhere. In the meantime, I’m happy here.  What irks me most is that I wasn’t even seeking an opportunity out. They came to ME and asked ME to apply. What a waste of my time.

 

Emerson’s 3rd birthday is on Sunday. Where the heck did the time go? I decided to forgo the plans of the indoor pool and to just have a birthday party for him instead. The cost just made more sense to do a small, family party. Plus, it gives me great joy to party plan and decorate, so it was a win-win. His theme is “Young, Wild, and Three”. We’re going with black, white, and gold décor. I’m very excited about it. It’s going to be really simple, but I think once its all put together, it’ll look like I really put some time and effort into it. I have a lot to do though, so I better move my butt. I need to create/hang a background, make a couple of banners, make miniature party hats, a cake stand, and a few other odds and ends. The party is going to be extremely small. It’s just my parents, sisters, nephew, and Tim (boyfriend). I don’t think I’ve actually typed his name in my blog yet. That was strange. Anyway, it’ll be very small, but I’m holding back on inviting friends from school until at least next year. He  Why not save money while I can?

 

Other than that, things are going very well. I’m so busy at work. It’s incredible. This is our busiest time of year, so I’ve been crushed. It’s exhausting, but I know the light is at the end of the tunnel. This are going so well with Tim! It’s very refreshing and nice to have someone NORMAL in my life who is extremely supportive, patient, understanding, and absolutely amazing. I hope this never changes. I know it’ll fade eventually, but I hope that everything that I am seeing now is still there. He is so great with Em, which is extremely important to me. We will see how that relationship develops as time goes on. From my perspective though, I think he’s a really great person and I feel lucky to have stumbled upon him. This weekend will be the first time that he meets my parents. Hopefully this goes well. I mean, I want them to like him, but honestly, I’m old enough now that it isn’t that much of a factor for me. I make my own decisions and if I like him and Emerson likes him, then that’s all that matters. I feel like they are going to LOVE him though, so that’s a good thing.

 

I worked out during naptime yesterday and at 4am this morning. I’m already sore. My eating has been absolutely on point, but I haven’t been working out, so it’s time to marry the two. I feel pretty good. Once I get over this initial hump, it’ll be easier. It’s always very hard re-starting. I look forward to not feeling like crap though and looking better! It’s just a hard balance. I don’t see Tim very often. On average, probably one time during the week, and MAYBE once over the weekend. I don’t feel that he should be there nightly because Emerson still needs his mom. I hardly get to see Em during the week because of work, so when we get home at night, it’s nice to just spend time together without other distractions. I already have to divide my attention with dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc, so adding another person into the mix feels like I’m short-changing him. Trying to add in working out is an entirely new obstacle. On nights that Tim comes over, I won’t have time to work out , so working out in the morning seems like the best solution, but that means a 4am wake-up call. Em goes to bed a little bit later now, so working out after he goes to bed sucks. By the time I’m done, it’s almost 10pm. I’m trying to fit this all in and to be fair to all sides and to myself. It’s not easy, but I think I’m doing pretty good. On Saturday, Tim came over for dinner. While dinner cooked, we took a walk with Emerson. It was REALLY nice and a nice way to all spend time together without being stuck in the house. He also tried to teach Em how to ride his bike. We had no success in that department. I’m hoping he picks it up before summertime. It’s really nice though to have someone to spend time with outside of Em. I don’t mean that  in a crappy way either. Em is my entire world and no one will ever come above him, but having someone I can talk to and who supports me is so nice! This is something that I have not had…well…really ever.

 

Something strange happened last night, which I wasn’t even going to write about, but here it goes. My “best friend” blocked me on Facebook. I posted a status about fair weather Steeler fans. The Steelers played the AFC game last night and my entire newsfeed was bombarded with people acting like they had watched game after game the entire season. I mean, it was kind of unreal. The commentary during the game was even more comical. I know most of these people have not watched ANY games all season, but were throwing a fit over calls, and over them losing. Imagine if you had invested an entire season into the team and they had lost that close to being in the super bowl. I just thought it was funny that these people were acting like it was the end of the world when I know they only jumped on the bandwagon because it seemed like the “cool” thing to do. I even called my own sister out. She was prepping for the game with food, drinks, and  her Steeler shirt.  I know she hasn’t supported that team all season, but she was posting like she was some die-hard fan. She didn’t get upset about it. She laughed and said “yep, you’re right”. Let me make note that I was never implying that my friend was one of these fair weather fans. I don’t think she’s a fair weather fan at all, but she took the time to comment on MY status defending herself. If you have to defend yourself, then you are probably guilty of what I posted. Before I could even respond that my status didn’t apply to her, she blocked me. Really? Over that?! Grow up. If that’s how she wants to behave, then I don’t even need friends like that. She has been very strange since she moved away. A few months ago, she messaged MY friend and asked if her status was about me talking about her. How weird is that?! It felt very SWF. I don’t get her and I am really sick of it. She is one of those narcissistic people that anytime you post anything, she reads it with herself in mind. Not everything is about her, even though she thinks it is. We have been friends for 17 years. Maybe it’s just run its course. I can never tell her anything anyway. I can never confide in her, or really be candid with her because she is extremely judgmental. A best friend should be able to hear anything, but I’m so guarded already with her. What is the point? I wouldn’t have blocked her though. I was fine with the type of friendship we had. We catch up, we see what is going on in each other’s lives, and we saw her when she visited. We call sometimes. We text sometimes. That is normal to me. I did think it was a bit harsh to block me. She could have kept scrolling. My post was a tag of myself and Emerson watching The Secret Life of Pets. I mentioned that we weren’t watching the Steeler game and that I thought it was funny that people were coming out of the woodwork pretending to be die-hard fans. If you know that’s not you, then why are you commenting? It just seems unreal that she blocked me for THAT. I’m sorry, but that is psychotic. My feelings are definitely hurt, but what can I really do? I’m not going to message her, or even try to have a conversation about it either. She can figure it out for herself. I’m pretty much sick of it.

 

I think she thinks that we should all be kissing her butt because she moved to Arizona from Pittsburgh. Why? That was a choice she made. I am happy here. I am so sick of it being rubbed in my face that it’s warm there year round and she “got out”. Got out of what? You have no friends where you live and none of your blood relatives are there. Yes, you have your husband’s family, but you never see your sisters, nieces, or nephews.  Why would I be mad about still being in Pittsburgh where my entire world is? I love it here. I hate snow, but we only suffer a little bit. Most of the year is relatively nice. I’d rather have our weather than 109 degree temps to where you can’t even step foot outside. We make our own choices. I’m not STUCK here by any means. It’s a choice and one that I am HAPPY with. We all choose our own paths. I don’t think it makes someone better than anyone else though, especially uprooting your entire family. To be honest, this is a very livable city. There are countless things to do. Her comment yesterday, of course, stated the obvious. “I don’t post every time I watch a game, but we miss a lot of regular seasons games because we live in Arizona” Yes, again, we are all aware that you live in Arizona. I am aware that you watch the games. I wasn’t referring to you. Sit down. She will comment, or post anything just to make sure we are all aware of her geographical location.  Completely unnecessary to A. Comment B. Block me. C. #byefelicia

 

Alright, I have to let this go because it will eat at me and I don’t want that to happen. Have a great week, all!!

Update after published:I didn't get the job

Sorry! It has been so long again, but work is absolutely INSANE! I had my third interview on Friday. I feel like it went very well, however I have not heard a thing yet. Cross your fingers and toes for me. I need all of the luck that I can get!

 

Outside of that, it’s been pretty boring. Lots of home time outside of work and daycare. The weather is finally warm this week, but extremely rainy. I’m sick of being cooped up. Last weekend, we went to lunch and the mall with my sister. Em had a ball playing in the mall’s play place. It was nice to get out for a bit. We’ve been watching tons of movies too. I rented five last night. We got Home, A Bug’s Life, Up, Sherman and Peabody,  Open Season 3, and Inside out.  We still have tons of DVD’s that Tim (guy I am dating) let us borrow. We just needed to circulate some other things because I’m super bored with the same, old thing.

 

This weekend, we have nothing planned at all. It is supposed to ice, so that’ll probably ruin doing anything on Sunday like I had initially planned. We will see. Maybe we will head to the movies, or the trampoline park if it isn’t too crappy out. I am going to dinner on Saturday night, so my sister is babysitting Emerson for me. So appreciated. I hardly ever ask her, but I feel like she has done so much for me lately that I shouldn’t even ask. She won $500 at her Christmas party last weekend and showed up on Saturday with $100 to give me. Not only that, but she treated us to lunch, then paid for the random groceries and necessities I needed at Wal-mart on the way home.  I can’t even tell you how much I appreciated that. I didn’t expect it AT ALL and was caught off-guard to say the least. She is always thinking of us even when she should be thinking of herself. I can’t wait to do something nice for her to say “Thanks” for all that she constantly does for us. She picks Emerson up from daycare anytime I ask her, she babysits without question for me, and is always there to listen to my rant. I feel like she does way more for me than I do for her and that makes me feel bad. I know she doesn’t look at it that way, but I do! Her time is coming for sure!

 

Speaking of Saturday night, Tim and I are going to dinner. We haven’t really had the opportunity to actually go on a date aside from me taking a half day at work to spend time together, or him picking me up from work and getting coffee before I grab Em from daycare, or even breakfast before work one morning. Obviously, he comes over to my house to spend time with myself and Emerson, but it’s nice to actually LEAVE the house together too. I’m excited because it’s actually our first actual opportunity to hang out without needing to be somewhere afterward (work/daycare). I also haven’t posted this, or really discussed it much, but we have made it “official” as stupid as that sounds. God, why do I feel like a 7th grader typing that. Like, I am a mother. I shouldn’t be doing this, right? I don’t know. I have such a twisted perception of how I am supposed to be have now that I’m a mother. If I ever let that go, I’d be all set! LOL Anyway, I am very happy. Once I let a lot of fears go and just went with it, it definitely changed my entire perspective. I just can’t believe someone actually thinks I’m awesome enough to want to spend time with. Really? This gal?! PSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. He is so nice though and probably way more than I actually deserve. He is amazing when he’s around Emerson.

 

I am balancing fairly well though. I saw him for Breakfast last Friday after I took Em to daycare. He came over on Monday with flowers and adorable shirts that he got me, while he was in Disney for the marathon. So sweet. He didn’t stay long because I had to work that night. He came over on Tuesday night about 30 minutes before Emerson went to bed, so Em and I still got to have dinner alone, and spend some time together before I split my focus. Em and I had Wednesday, Thursday, and today together, along with all day tomorrow before my sister babysits. It’s definitely difficult balancing both on top of running this house, and be extremely busy at work. I’m pretty exhausted, but at least he understands that I still need to be a mom first. Em is my #1. He is in daycare 55 hours a week. He needs his mom and it isn’t fair that he have to share my focus and attention every single day. I think I’m allocating my time very wisely. It’s nice that he is good around Emerson and handles his craziness well. I like that I can marry the two sometimes, so that we all are getting a bit of what we want.  I am definitely not one of those women who puts a relationship ahead of her child, therefore it is extremely important that I balance it out. I think I’m rocking it J

 

I am low-carbing it. Today is my second day. The holidays completely wrecked my healthy eating. I feel so awful, fat, and disgusting. After a few days of this, I know I’ll be back to feeling better, then I can start cycling back in some fruit, and sweet potatoes. It’ll be nice to start to feel normal again. Also, I do not want to put on a swim suit for Emerson’s birthday excursion feeling this way. No joke, I will completely change our plans to avoid doing that! He is too small to even know what our plans are to realize I changed it. LOL

 

Alright, I will catch up with you all later! Have a great weekend!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I haven’t updated since I recapped Christmas. New Year’s Resolution: Update more! Anyway, we have been doing nothing at all. It’s so boring, guys. You all know how much Em and I are always on the go doing fun, new things, but our adventures have been extremely limited since Early December. It’ll pick back up in a few months, but for right now, this is just how it is. We have decided to do the indoor pool place for his birthday, so that’s something fun to look forward to. I think he will really like that, and it’ll be something to get us out of the house. We can pick back up with birthday parties next year.

 

Our New Year’s Eve was really nice. We ended up just going to my sister’s house for dinner, noise makers, and to hang out. Here’s a shocker: I brought the guy that I had mentioned previously. Now, don’t fall out of your seats. He has really toned down and pulled back, so that has allowed me to actually sort out if I like him, and if I’d like to get to know him more. Obviously, the answer to that is yes. We have been spending more time together, and he was going to come over after Emerson went to bed anyway, so I just decided to invite him to dinner with us. It was the first time he met Emerson. It wasn’t weird, or anything like that. I think my sister was caught off guard though. I haven’t mentioned this guy AT ALL. She knows now that we are seeing each other, so I guess the cat is out of the bag. Anyway, we ended up coming back to  my house around 815pm. Em got a bath, then went to bed. We watched Pete’s Dragon because I have been dying to see it. Afterwards, we watched the remainder of Dick Clark’s Rockin New Year’s Eve (Mariah Carey though!), and smooched at midnight. It was really nice, and one of the best New Year’s Eves I’ve had in years.  Tonight, he is coming over to have dinner with us. He is running a full marathon in Disney and will be gone Friday-Monday, so we’re squeezing in some time before he leaves. It is still extremely new and I am obviously still weary, but it has been really nice. We have a very nice balance, which is really important to me. Emerson and work will always be #1 including the house/dog. He knows that, understands that, and is never pushy otherwise. We don’t see each other very often, but the time that we do is really nice, so cross your fingers!

 

Outside of that, I am back on the workout train. It was nice taking a break over the holidays, but my poor stomach is ripped to shreds from too much processed food. It’s unreal how much that stuff tears me up! I am on day three of working out and I feel incredible. I’m training to run a half marathon. I’ve always had a marathon on my bucket list, so having someone in my life who actually runs marathons is a good motivator. We will see how this turns out. I used to be able to run 3 miles with no problems. I’ve ran 1.5 miles on Monday and today and nearly died by the time I was done. I had to stop to walk a few times too. I know my lungs and endurance will build back up, but DANG! It is not easy. To think that I could run 13.1 miles in 3-4 months is bananas. I did a pretty good upper workout last night too, so I am pretty sore this morning. I feel good though, and that’s really all that matters.

 

I now have a THIRD interview on Friday. This interview is with the VP, so I’m hoping it goes well. Let’s hope making it this far is a good sign. I’m so nervous  though. I thought I was all done and just a sitting duck awaiting a decision. I received notification yesterday that I was set up for another interview. I’m going to go into it like I did the prior two and pray for the best. I really want this opportunity so much.  I feel like this year is going to be all about change. Things are already changing so much. The fact that I’m even forging ahead with a career change, and potentially a relationship?! Training for a half marathon?! What?!! All really good things though. Let’s not forget Disney! That’s major and something I cannot stop thinking about. I think we’re going to aim for April 24-April 29. Those dates are looking good to me, but we will see. I need to see if I get this job, so that I can prepare to study and get my insurance license first. I don’t want to book a trip and have that interfere at all.

 

Emerson slept all night last night. Shocker. His sleep habits have been difficult to say the least. Let’s hope we are on the upswing of this now. His behavior has been so unruly lately. Some days, I feel like I can barely handle him. I think the holidays really shook things up and we just need to level off and settle back into our routine. It’ll take a few weeks. Let’s hope that’s all it is. I tell him all of the time that we’re a team. We need to work together, then things can be fun/great all of the time. Mom doesn’t want to yell daily.

 

Alright, that’s about all I have as far as updates are concerned. I hope everyone has a great week!