A bit of a rant

My birthday weekend was absolutely incredible. It was exhausting though. We jam packed a lot into four days. Friday was my actual birthday. I worked a half day in office. I had a doctor appointment at 9:30am because I wasn’t feel very well. Someone who had I had been training all week came down with bronchitis and strep throat. I woke up on Thursday morning with a sore throat, no voice, and completely congested. When I went to the doctor on Friday, they ruled everything out, which was great, but I wasn’t feeling so hot, so I went home around 11:30am. I took a strong dose of meds and took a nap. Emerson was at daycare, so I had that freedom. When I woke up, I felt better, so I decided to go shopping. I’m such a big spender. I bought a $5 dress and a $1 romper. Memorial Day sales were amazing! I wish I could have bought more, but I was happy with my $6 splurge.

I had an Olive Garden gift card, so when I got home, a to-go order in for myself and Emerson to eat as my birthday dinner. I also picked up a couple of cupcakes too, so that we could single “Happy Birthday”. After I scooped Emerson from daycare, we headed up to Olive Garden to pick up our dinner. It was scorching hot out, so when we got home, I let him swim for an hour before we ate. Dinner was delicious. Even better, it was free. Afterwards, we sang “Happy Birthday” and Emerson helped me blow out the candles. I let him stay up a little later than usual too.  When he went to bed, I rented a movie and made some birthday cake martinis. Being honest, I wasn’t really into them. I don’t drink much and I definitely do not like the taste of liquor. I’m okay with a glass of wine, or even beer, but I do not do liquor anymore. I ended up wasting two martinis. It was a nice birthday though.

On Saturday, my family had a birthday cookout for me at their house. It was really nice. The pool was open too! We swam for a few hours, ate dinner, blew out the candles again, then had red velvet (my favorite) cupcakes. My parents got me a Target gift card, so that I can buy some new pots and pans, which I desperately need. My sister got me a gift certificate for my hair/nail place, which I thought was really nice.

On Sunday, we had big plans to visit the zoo. The weather was supposed to be hot, so we packed extra water. We went in the morning with my sister and nephew. When we were nearly at the end of our tour, it started to rain, but we didn’t even care. It was so hot all day that it was nice walking around in the rain to get cooled off. We had such a great time! Emerson loved it. We got discounted tickets through my company, so the cost was not bad at all. It’s usually $17/person! After the zoo, we went to my parent’s house for a bit. After a late nap, I let him swim in the backyard for a while before dinner and bedtime.

On Monday, we lounged around for most of the day, then decided to finish the day swimming at my parent’s house. It was nice! I got such a nice tan this weekend. Let’s pray for some good weather this upcoming weekend. We’re going to strawberry fest on Saturday. Otherwise, we’ll be in the pool. We’ll probably make a quick park trip too. I’m all about FREE activities to do. The only thing I’ll be paying for is admission to Strawberry fest, which shouldn’t be too bad. After this, we’re not paying to do anything for a few weeks. We’ll swim at my parents, hit the spray park, lake, and water steps.  That should hold us over for a while. Enough variety without going broke. We’ve been doing a lot lately, but most of it was free, or heavily discounted. Even still, my wallet needs a break. I don’t get paid for another 9 days either, so we need to just grin and bear it with what we have. I’m pretty creative when it comes to stretching a dollar, so I think we’ll be just fine.

I was reading on Pinterest last night for ideas on how to save money on utilities. I began unplugging every single thing in the house. Obviously, I left the refrigerator plugged in, but the television, cable box, microwave, coffee pot, and baby monitor were all unplugged. All these vampire appliances definitely increase your bill. Now that I have the air conditioners running, I want to be able to save where I can. We’ll see how the next couple of bills are and if I sense a change. I won’t be able to compare this month to next month though because we weren’t using the air conditioners then. We’ll see how it is between July and August. I’m also not filling the bath tub as high when Emerson bathes. I know more water is fun, but now that we’re filling the pool up here and there, I can really use the additional savings. Right now, I do laundry two times a week. I’m cutting that down to once a week. We should have enough to get us through the week without needing more than one wash.

I already save on groceries because I buy no fluff. I am just so sick and tired of living like this. I know I don’t complain much over money. Again, I am pretty savvy. I think it just drives me insane when I know we’re missing out on some things because I can’t afford to take Emerson every single place I want to. My hope is to at least take him to the waterpark in August. That’ll be the next and final major thing that we’ll do this summer. We’ve already gotten the amusement park and zoo out of the way. One day, it won’t be so tight and we can have a bit more freedom. I just get really fed up having to live this way. I don’t even need to be rich. I could stand to have a $100 more to float around throughout the month. Two words start to creep up on me and that’s CHILD SUPPORT. We all know I have yet to file, but it’s getting pretty ridiculous. After I pay ALL of the bills, daycare, groceries, diapers, and gas in the car, we’re left with about $100 for two weeks. That $100 is our entertainment, medicine (knock on wood), clothing, haircuts, and household essentials like toothpaste, toilet paper, and dish liquid. $100 for two weeks is not enough at all for two people let alone a toddler who is constantly growing out of clothing and shoes. Again, I am pretty savvy, but I can only take that so far. Did I mention the fee to have our grass cut comes out of that $100 too. That means we literally have $65 for two weeks to take care of our needs. Heaven forbid its snack day, or school picture date, or something additional like a book fair at daycare.

I just am really tired of living this way. It is wearing me out. His dad is going to have to help me. That’s really all that it comes down to. I’ve already reached out to a friend about potentially working in her hotel on Sundays either cleaning, or working at the front desk. I just need to supplement my income some way. It sucks to have to take more time away from Emerson, but honestly, I am hanging by a thread here. I had to buy a stamp yesterday that cost me about 48 cents. It’s a darn shame that I cringed forking over  2 quarters! I just don’t get why some people think they’re exempt from providing for their child. I do everything on my own and I do all that I can. The least he could do is send Emerson a pair of shoes, or a box of cereal. He really is the epitome of a dead beat.

Alright, I am done with this. Too much negativity for one day.

Our awesome weekend

The weekend was absolutely amazing. I wish I could find a stronger word to describe it because that doesn’t even do it justice. On Friday night, my sister had a bon fire. We went over after dinner our jammies. She had a lot of other kids and friends there too. We ate so many s’mores.  It was ridiculous. We had a great time and stayed over there until 9pm, which is late for us, especially on a Friday night after being at work and school all day. Emerson was extremely sleeping, so we went home. He fell asleep in the car, so I plopped him right into bed-chocolate face and all!

On Saturday, Emerson slept FOREVER. I swear, it was pushing 8am and the dude was still in bed. It was nice for me though. We didn’t really have plans for the day at that point either, so there was no set wake-up time. When he did wake up, I made breakfast (peanut butter and banana stuffed French toast), then I was able to work out, while he played. It was nice being able to do that. I’ve never tried before. He thought it was HILARIOUS watching me jump around though. We lounged around for most of the day. Finally, we made plans with my sister and nephew to take the kids to the Bic mac Museum, then an indoor jungle gym place afterwards. The Big Mac Museum is just a glorified McDonalds with an awesome play place The kids ate and played for about an hour, then we headed up to Seabase. They had a blast! I had a panic attack at one point though. Emerson climbed up into some tubes and I lost him for about 10 min. These tubes intertwine all around and it becomes extremely difficult to track, or see where the heck your kid is. I had to recruit my nephew to climb up to find him. Luckily, he was able to spot him pretty quickly. After that happened, I didn’t allow him to explore without my nephew trailing behind. I wouldn’t have been that concerned, but some of the tubes drop into slides that allow the kiddos to exit the entire play area. For all I knew, he was running around freely. Major mom moment there! After Seabase, we went home and relaxed for the remainder of the night. I let Emerson stay up until well after 8pm. Why not?

On Sunday, he slept until after 8am again. This was perfect for me. We had a big day planned at Kennywood (amusement park), so I knew he wouldn’t get a nap in at all. I got our bags packed (extra clothes, shoes, snacks, umbrella, etc), then got myself all ready. By the time he woke up, I had everything organized. It didn’t take me as long as it sounds, I swear. We had breakfast (eggs, bacon, fruit, and blueberry pancakes), then hung around the house until it was time to leave. The weather was on the chilly side with a major threat of rain, so we dressed accordingly. After a quick stop at K-mart, we headed over to pick my sister and nephew up. Everyone was so excited! We headed out to the park for a day of fun.

The lines were so short because the rain held a lot of people off. The park was closed to the public for my work picnic, so that made it even better. I was able to walk right up to a ride and put Emerson right on. We only had to wait for a few rides, and he did very well! No major meltdowns at all, which is what I feared. He isn’t the most patient kid around. The rain never came! It sputtered a few times on and off, but we never even had to break out our umbrellas. It was perfect. Emerson’s face was pure joy every time I put him on any ride. It was so cute! I’ll post a few pictures and videos for you all to see. My sister and nephew had a great time too. We did have a slight moment of panic when Emerson lost one of his brand-new shoes. I was not happy about this. We searched all over for it, then finally found it on top of a fence post. Someone must have seen it and put it up. Thank God! I just bought these shoes last week! Anyway, we had extra just in case because the rides do indicate that riders need to have shoes. I’m not sure how strict they are on that rule, but we didn’t want to find out either. We stayed for 5 hours and were completely worn out by the time we left. It was a great time and I am glad we went. Emerson conked out on the way home for a small bit, but I woke him up for a snack, bath, then bed-time.

My parents didn’t come with us to Kennywood though they were supposed to. My mom’s sister is in the hospital and in very bad shape. I honestly don’t know that she will make it through this time, but I am remaining optimistic. She has congestive heart failure from smoking. She came down with pneumonia and bronchitis, but didn’t go to the doctor. She waited so long, that she almost died at home. Anyway, she is in the hospital now on a ventilator. They are trying to slowly bring her off of it with no such luck. My mom will be down there again today, so I’m sure she will provide an update at some point. I really wish my mom would stop smoking. This has killed my gram (her mom), my aunt’s husband (the one who is in the hospital now), and now it has my aunt. I don’t know why people continue to smoke. I HATE it. My mom will not listen to me though. I told her she is going to make us go through this with her one day. Why would she want to do that to us?! I am hoping after the dust settles with my aunt, I can really discuss it with her. It isn’t appropriate right now to continue harping on her while her sister is sick. I’ll wait, but I am really just over watching her continue to have a general disregard for herself and her family. Say some extra prayers for my aunt, please. She always seems to find a way to turn these things around. She beat cancer before and has been down and out several other times too. She is far too young to lose her life and I know it would absolutely wreck my mother and my aunt’s children. (she has 7 kids and dozens upon dozens of grandchildren and great grandchildren). My mom’s sister was basically her mother growing up, so I know it feels like my mom is losing another mom. I feel so bad. I am absolutely awful with these situations though. My sister is better with the emotional stuff than I am. My mind darts to the logistics, planning, next steps, being there as support etc. I can’t help it. That is just the way that I cope with things. I am not overly showy with how I feel, especially in these instances. It’s unfortunate too because I know I come off as being insensitive when I’m not bawling my eyes out, when I am just super uncomfortable.  I usually am a good shoulder though, so I try to be the strong one, so others can mourn/deal with the situation. I like being that person because it allows me to be able to disguise how I feel to put other’s feelings at the forefront. That sounds terrible, but if being the strong one and rock is the worst thing, then I’ll take it.

Alright, guys. I hope you all have a great week.

Glow Party Success!!

The glow-in-the-dark party on Friday night turned out AMAZING! I am still in shock at how amazing our set up turned out. Before it was even completely dark outside, the entire house was glowing. I thought we didn’t have enough black lights when I was setting up. Boy, was I wrong! I never thought it would glow as much as it did. Our teeth were actually glowing. I’m so glad it turned out well. The kids were so hyped up. They had a blast though and it was very well organized. My sister did a great job preparing everything. I thought I did a pretty good job of setting everything up. We make one heck of a team. Emerson loved it though. He was conked out before I put the key in the front door. I sprayed his hair hot pink too. He looked adorable. Luckily, it washed out pretty easily. I also decorated shirts for us to wear too.  All of the kids decorated shirts when they were there before the parted started. It gave them something to do, while we waited for it to darken a bit outside and for all the guests to arrive.  I put some pics below for you guys to check out!

On Saturday, Emerson and I did nothing all day. It was pretty awesome. We lazed around until it was time to go to my sister’s house for my nephew’s birthday dinner. She made lasagna. It was pretty darn good. We stayed over there for a long time. Emerson ended up sleeping in until about 830am that morning, so he napped until almost 5pm that evening. I let him stay up until about 845pm once we got home from my sister’s house. He ended up sleeping in until about 830am on Sunday morning too. we lazed around most of the day. I made him take an early nap around 1pm. Luckily, he went down without too much trouble, then we went grocery shopping. My entire family went to a baseball game, so we were left to fend for ourselves yesterday. I let Emerson swim in his pool. It was so hot outside in between all of the thunderstorms. He had a great time and swam for a few hours. The dog even jumped in with him. We had pierogi casserole for dinner. It was delicious. That was my farewell meal considering I am back on the grind today. I have 25 days until my 33rd birthday. I refuse to feel like crap turning another year older. Back on the band wagon for me!

I hope we have some better weather this week. I bought Emerson a quad. Let’s not even talk about what a pain it was to build. They shorted me a bolt, so I have to go to the hardware store tonight to get one, so that I can attach the last wheel. I have it all charged and ready to go though. He is so anxious to ride it. He’s been staring at it for three days. Hopefully the rain holds off after work and he can ride for a bit before dinner. We have muffins with mom at daycare on Friday. I’m working from home, so I can participate. This upcoming weekend is mother’s day, which means Emerson and I need to figure out what we’re getting my sister and mom. I am definitely going to make gifts. There is no reason to go over the top. Whatever I make will be nice, but I definitely am not buying some outrageous gifts. Dad is taking us to brunch though. I’m trying to save a couple extra calories every day this week, so that I don’t have to worry so much on Sunday. Let’s hope that pans out in my favor.

Alright, that’s all I have. Have a great week, guys J

That was short lived

Well, I ended things after 6 whole days. It just wasn’t the right situation for myself, or Emerson. There were some deal breakers that I thought I could look past, but I couldn’t. I think he is a wonderful person and I hope he finds the person who accepts him for who he is and makes him happy. Unfortunately, that isn’t me, but it’s okay. We didn’t end on bad terms, or anything like that and I think we can still maintain a friendship, which is great. I couldn’t ask for a better ending to be honest. It’s still a little sad though. Over the last 6 weeks, I had grown accustomed to talking to someone every day and having them in my life.  I am just appreciative that we were able to discuss everything like adults and without any kind of hostility. Look how much I’ve grown! Honestly though, Emerson is my main concern and every decision I make revolves around him. He’s my main squeeze, so I have to keep an eye out.

In other news, Emerson has been waking up so early this week before I get him out of bed. It is driving me nuts. This morning, I went into his room to wake him like normal at 5:35am. His light was on! He must have woken up, stood up on his bed, and hit the switch. I guess he fell back to sleep at some point. He never cried. He was standing on his bed when I walked in. I don’t get it. I think I might need to rearrange though, so he can’t turn his light on. Yesterday morning, he woke up about 5 minutes before I usually get him up. He was crying though for me to come and let him out of his room. I have a door knob cover on his door, so he can’t escape. I just wonder if I am now putting him to bed too early and he doesn’t need that much sleep. He’s getting about 9.5 hours. I would think that’s under what he really needs. I’ll see how it goes the rest of the week and over the weekend. His fan has been in the window though. Maybe it’s just too cold in the mornings, which makes him wake up. I’ll take the fan out of his window before bed tonight and see how that goes too. Kids!

Last night, I made the signs for my nephew’s Glow-in-the-Dark party. They came out pretty good. Nothing spectacular, but I got the job done. I can’t wait to see it all come together. My sister worked on the Glow-in-the-Dark twister last night. It looks pretty neat. I am working from home on Friday, so that I can shave off time commuting in the afternoon since the party starts at 630. This way, I don’t have to rush after I pick Emerson up from daycare. We can go home, get ready, and let the dog out before we head to the party.  His gift arrived yesterday. I didn’t even have a chance to open up the box yet to see what the mini fridge looks like. I’ll do that tonight.

I don’t have much else to discuss. Outside of Birthday plans this weekend, we don’t have much going on. I think we have a play date on Sunday if it doesn’t rain. 70% chance is being reported now, so that isn’t looking too promising.  We’ll see though. These things change daily it seems. Alright, I hope everyone has a super day! Happy Hump Day!