Today is already going to be so busy. I double booked myself in meetings and also have a presentation. I really hope I don’t mess up. I’ve been practicing so much on the baby, but every time I do, he falls asleep! I guess I must be pretty boring, huh?! I’m not that nervous, or worried about it, but I do want to do a good job and convey my message in an understandable way. Pray for me!
After daycare yesterday, Emerson and I played for a bit. Around 6pm, I nursed him, then I ate dinner, while he played. He ended up falling asleep as I was practicing my presentation. He slept from about 6:45pm-9:30pm. At that point, I just put him to bed for the night. Because he had no real dinner, he woke to nurse often last night. I ended up waking up at 4am, taking a shower, doing hair and makeup, putting away the clean dishes, getting the diaper bag ready, and packing my work bag. I also took out the garbage. The baby woke up around 5:10am. I gave him a bath before daycare because he didn’t have one last night. After I got him dressed, I nursed him again, then we played before we had to hit the road. I had to go to the gas station before I got on the bus. I feel like I’ve had a full day already and it’s only 7:45am!
I decided to have a bonfire at my house in early October for the kids. I think it’ll be really cute. I’m not going to go all wild and drive myself nuts with preparation, but I think it’ll be really adorable to let them paint mini pumpkins, drink cider, make smores, and tell ghost stories by the fire. Why not, right? I have a fire table for a reason. I’ve only used it once this summer, so I’m due. It’ll be a nice memory to create with Emerson too. He loves having bonfires at my parent’s house, so having it at ours will be a nice alternative. I’m thinking I’ll do it from 6pm-9pm. It gets darker sooner during that time of year, so the sun should set a little after 7pm. The kids can decorate their pumpkins beforehand. I love fall, so this is exciting for me! I’ve already been scouring Pinterest for every and any idea under the sun! If the bonfire goes well, then I’ll probably have a small Christmas party for the kids too. Nothing crazy. Maybe they can come over to watch a Christmas movie and have some snacks. I live for this stuff.
Reflection time:
I was thinking this morning about my life and how drastically things have changed. I was reminiscing back to last year. I hadn’t even found out the sex of the baby yet. (thank you TimeHop for keeping a timeline for me). It’s so crazy to think where I was last year in relation to where I am right now. I really wish I hadn’t worried about so many unnecessary things while I was pregnant. I have always been a planner and a person that thinks in fast forward. I do it now, which I’m constantly reminding myself to stay in the present and enjoy the moment. It’s VERY hard for me to practice this, but I keep it tucked in the back of my mind all of the time. Anyway, back to last year. August 2013. I was about 18 weeks pregnant, days away from finding out the sex of the baby, and still dating Emerson’s father. Let’s recap this for old time’s sake:
It’s funny because he wasn’t even around for the ultrasound. He was in Vegas. I remember being so ticked about this. I don’t think I ever really saw the full importance of him going to Vegas even though it was for business reasons. He wasn’t directly involved in his family’s business at that time except from a marketing perspective. I didn’t think that warranted him to miss the gender reveal and ultrasound, but alas, he went regardless of my opinion. He was a jerk while he was there too. I would go to bed at 9pm every night. This meant it was 6pm Vegas time. It was so hard for him to dedicate a couple of minutes every day just to call me before I went to bed. I mean, who wouldn’t love this? While you’re out in Vegas having the time of your life, your pregnant girlfriend is back at home SLEEPING, not worrying about what you’re doing. Instead of being a normal human being, calling before dinner, and checking in on me, he’d constantly flake and then come up with some excuse. I could tell they were full of half-truths too, which really ticked me off even further. I wish I had let this big, red flag be a huge turning point for me, but it wasn’t. Not only was he absent for the ultra sound which determined our baby’s gender, he was a complete asshole to me too. I still felt bad that he missed the ultrasound, so I tried to make it as special as possible for him. I framed one of the sonogram pictures for him and I even bought a pair of baby pajamas that were embroidered with “daddy’s buddy” as a gift for him when he returned home from Vegas. He came home the night of the sonogram. It sucked too because while he was on a flight coming home, I had to wait to tell people “It’s a boy!”. I thought it would be rude to share with friends and family via facebook before he knew. Again, why was I so sensitive to this asshole? He wasn’t even there with me during one of the biggest moments that happen during pregnancy, yet I was sure to try to make it as special as possible for him! Do we all see where things were not right in this situation?
The morning of the ultrasound, I was so nervous. I put on a coral dress, straightened my newly cut/highlighted hair (I got bangs!), which I treated myself too that week. I wanted to fill my week up to mask the emptiness of Emerson’s father’s absence, so I had things scheduled to distract myself. Anyway, I remember gluing together a red/green sheet of paper and drawing a big question mark down the center. My sister took an adorable picture of myself holding this up to tease friends and family before the big reveal. Because I knew the baby shower and baby essentials would be costly, I skipped out on a gender reveal party to save money. Instead, I just posted teasing photos and cute catch phrases (beau or bow) leading up to the ultrasound, which I posted to my Facebook wall. Everyone was buzzing that day. I received so many text messages telling me to “tell me the second you find out!” It was super exciting, but it still felt like something was missing. I guess I couldn’t understand why this wasn’t important enough for Emerson’s dad to want to attend. He was just one of those selfish people who only thought of himself. Another red flag. Anyway, I was called back first. The techs wouldn’t allow my mom and sisters to head back until they were able to do their work and check the baby thoroughly. I was in so much pain from having to pee! It was AWFUL! Still, they pushed my belly looking to make sure the baby was healthy. I asked what the sex was. I wanted to have a moment where it was just me who knew the sex. The tech asked me several times if I was sure I wanted to know. “Of course!” I just wanted her to tell me. I was dying inside. She said “It’s a boy!” and I almost cried. I was so excited. I thought I wanted a girl so badly until I heard it was a boy. After a few more minutes, they let my family in. Everyone was pestering me asking if I knew the sex. I was tight lipped. Finally, the techs let the cat out of the bag. Everyone was so excited. I bit back tears. On the way out, I was swarmed my nurses telling me how beautiful I looked. That really lifted my spirits. I still couldn’t believe I was having a boy.
We all headed to breakfast and discussed names. I always had Emerson on the list, but we had all started to really like the name Weston. West for short. I had to discuss with Emerson’s father first, but I always thought it would be my decision anyway. Hours passed and I waited and waited for his flight to land. Finally, it landed and I was able to text him the news. TEXT….How very sad is that? Not even a phone call. He was just one of those people. He didn’t care and he made it feel like I was bothering him with the news. It really bothered me, but I conveyed the gender via text and we made plans to hang out that night. When I went over to his house, he was doting on me. It was very strange. I had no idea why he was caring for me like…well like he should have been from the beginning. Maybe he felt bad that he missed the ultrasound, or perhaps his family was in his ear. Either way, it was REALLY nice for a change. The next day, we told his son together that he was going to be a big brother to a little brother. His son was quite disinterested. He didn’t care and gave us a snotty attitude. Typical attitude of a then 9 year old boy. I wasn’t surprised and I’m sure it was confusing for him to hear this. I didn’t expect him to comprehend that we were having a baby and that he’d be a brother. I knew it would take some time to sink in. That was the last time I saw his son. I was told later from his son’s mother that he was asking a lot of questions about the baby, but his dad refused to acknowledge them. I guess he was pretending to his son like a baby didn’t exist. I, of course, found this to be rather disturbing. Who messes with their child’s head like that?
Shortly after we found out the sex of the baby, (a month to be exact) he broke up with me. I can say this was a real defining moment in my pregnancy and probably my life. It’s sad it didn’t happen sooner and by my own doing. I would have suffered a lot less and had a much more pleasant pregnancy. I’m glad I was able to salvage the last few months though. It’s so crazy thinking back to things that happened. Missing a sonogram and being an asshole should have been such warning flags for me. I guess I just didn’t want to be another statistic so I fought hard to put the pieces back together. In reality, those pieces should have never been together at all. If I could go back in time, I would still choose to date this disgusting human being and I would still have sex with such a heinous creature. Out of all of his ugliness, I have the most beautiful little boy. I am so very blessed and so glad that there was something good that came out of a very bad situation.
I’m glad that I’ve been able to move on and really put it all behind me. I have the best gift of all and that’s Emerson. He is so worth any bad thing that could ever happen and I’d do it over 100 times if it meant that I’d get him as an end result. I feel so appreciative to be given the title “mom” I take it very seriously and it’s something that I definitely think has to be earned. I fully feel deserving to be Emerson’s mother. I’m not sure why things happen, but I do believe they happen for a reason. I was faced with a disgusting human being and placed in his presence, so that I could receive such a huge gift. My life has been so much better ever since and I couldn’t be more appreciative. Sorry that I had to take us all back to such a dark time, but my point is all bad is counteracted with something good. Emerson’s father being the bad, but Emerson being the good. What a lucky gal I turned out to be
Alright, I must end this now. I hope everyone has a super amazing Wednesday. Remember, with every bad comes a bit of good, so don’t lose hope!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Mummy's crying
I finished “The fault in our stars” last night. It was sad, beautiful, and funny all at the same time. I couldn’t put it down. Emerson was exhausted after daycare and ended up sleeping from 5:30pm-8:30pm. I utilized my time and finished the book. By the time I put it down, I was in tears. I actually had to leave the room to avoid waking the baby from my sobs. My sister read it too and we’re going to go and see the movie. What a great book. It really put a lot of things in perspective for me. I never want to go through that-ever. Next up, “If I stay”. I’m really excited about that book. I hear there is a sequel to that already. I’m excited about it! There is also a movie out too. My sister hasn’t started the book yet. I hope she hurries up, so I can get my hands on it!
I received a text on the way home yesterday from my landlord. He let me know the bees were dead. He also let me know that my neighbor is very fond of me and said nice things. That made me feel bad, but she is just so damn nosey! I can’t stand it. Maybe she has good intentions, but they come across very badly. I’m just glad he took care of it. I hope it’s a long time before she comes over complaining of some new issue she has with the property.
Well, bedtime last night was still a bit rough. No biting though. I was happy about that, but it took Emerson such a long time to fall asleep. It was nearly an hour before he finally stopped fidgeting and passed out. He woke about 2 hours later and then again about 3 hours after that. I woke up a little bit late though. I was having the absolute worst dream about my sister. It was stupid too. She was planning a party and invoked the help of my friends, but wanted nothing to do with my mom, sister, and I. I freaked out in the dream so badly! It was horrible! I guess thinking about all of that stuff yesterday really weighed heavily on my mind and translated via my dreams. I hope that’s the last of that. I hate having bad dreams!
I now have 12oz of milk in stock. I’m hoping to be able to add at least another 8oz to that by the end of this week. So far, I have 4oz at home ready to freeze. I don’t like to do that too prematurely though. I’d rather have all of my daycare bottles before I start freezing anything. This morning, I pumped 3oz from one side and then another 5oz this morning. I’m due to pump any minute and then once more before I go home. I typically pump 1 side around 5:30pm. I’m hoping to be able to get a total of 18oz today. I’ll send 16oz to daycare tomorrow, so I’ll have 2 to add to my stock. 18oz isn’t that much. I’m used to getting around 23, but Emerson has been eating early in the morning now, so he’s draining one side before I get to p ump. Either way, it’s still ensuring I produce enough. Whether it be from him, or the pump, the task is still being completed.
Emerson had a Gerber spaghetti meal last night and loved it! He had red sauce all over the place. It was in his hair, on his belly, and on his face. He cracks me up! It’s so funny watching him eat. He loves food so much and makes the craziest sounds in between bites. I guess I feed him too slow, but he is so greedy! He wants more before he even swallows what’s already in his mouth. I also gave him a side of squash to go with his meal. I split the Gerber meals in two, so he’s only eating half for dinner. They are 6oz containers, so he’s eating 3oz of the meal plus about 1oz of a fruit or veggie, then he gets a bit afterwards. It makes it easier for me because I can buy 10 meals, but it actually translates into 20 meals. It definitely saves money.
Welp, I think that’s all I have in me for today. I hope everyone had a good Monday and has an even better Tuesday!
I received a text on the way home yesterday from my landlord. He let me know the bees were dead. He also let me know that my neighbor is very fond of me and said nice things. That made me feel bad, but she is just so damn nosey! I can’t stand it. Maybe she has good intentions, but they come across very badly. I’m just glad he took care of it. I hope it’s a long time before she comes over complaining of some new issue she has with the property.
Well, bedtime last night was still a bit rough. No biting though. I was happy about that, but it took Emerson such a long time to fall asleep. It was nearly an hour before he finally stopped fidgeting and passed out. He woke about 2 hours later and then again about 3 hours after that. I woke up a little bit late though. I was having the absolute worst dream about my sister. It was stupid too. She was planning a party and invoked the help of my friends, but wanted nothing to do with my mom, sister, and I. I freaked out in the dream so badly! It was horrible! I guess thinking about all of that stuff yesterday really weighed heavily on my mind and translated via my dreams. I hope that’s the last of that. I hate having bad dreams!
I now have 12oz of milk in stock. I’m hoping to be able to add at least another 8oz to that by the end of this week. So far, I have 4oz at home ready to freeze. I don’t like to do that too prematurely though. I’d rather have all of my daycare bottles before I start freezing anything. This morning, I pumped 3oz from one side and then another 5oz this morning. I’m due to pump any minute and then once more before I go home. I typically pump 1 side around 5:30pm. I’m hoping to be able to get a total of 18oz today. I’ll send 16oz to daycare tomorrow, so I’ll have 2 to add to my stock. 18oz isn’t that much. I’m used to getting around 23, but Emerson has been eating early in the morning now, so he’s draining one side before I get to p ump. Either way, it’s still ensuring I produce enough. Whether it be from him, or the pump, the task is still being completed.
Emerson had a Gerber spaghetti meal last night and loved it! He had red sauce all over the place. It was in his hair, on his belly, and on his face. He cracks me up! It’s so funny watching him eat. He loves food so much and makes the craziest sounds in between bites. I guess I feed him too slow, but he is so greedy! He wants more before he even swallows what’s already in his mouth. I also gave him a side of squash to go with his meal. I split the Gerber meals in two, so he’s only eating half for dinner. They are 6oz containers, so he’s eating 3oz of the meal plus about 1oz of a fruit or veggie, then he gets a bit afterwards. It makes it easier for me because I can buy 10 meals, but it actually translates into 20 meals. It definitely saves money.
Welp, I think that’s all I have in me for today. I hope everyone had a good Monday and has an even better Tuesday!
Monday, August 25, 2014
Mummy's missing something
I haven’t spoken about this in quite some time because I haven’t really had time to consume myself with it. Plus, I think I bury these feelings because it makes me too sad and I don’t have time to really be sad. My sister is still very distant from our family. Yes, she has come around for some holidays, but even when I try to talk to her via text, she usually ignores me, or gives me a short response. The past couple of times I asked if she wanted to get together with myself and the baby, she’s ignored me, then claimed that she didn’t receive the text messages. The weird thing is, she’ll answer my texts up until I ask her to hang out. Coincidence? I mean, I’d like to think that a person isn’t being malicious on purpose and then just lying to cover up their malicious intent, but I 100% know that my mom told her I texted her and asked that she just reach out to see what I wanted. She never did. It’s weird. How can you receive text messages and then in a 30 second period they stop working right after I ask her what she’s doing, or if she wants to hang out? If you are going to choose to distance yourself, then at least own it and just say “No, thank you” instead of leaving me hanging. She hasn’t seen the baby in two months aside from about 5 minutes when she came over to meet my mom to go to dinner a few weeks ago. I try to give her the opportunity to spend some time with him because she seemed a small bit interested in having a relationship with him. I think I misread it. If he’s there, then she’ll talk to him, but out of sight out of mind? I can’t figure it out. Maybe I’m not meant to figure it out. Like I said, I don’t have a whole lot of time to give it thought, but it’s always lingering there in the back of my mind. It came up yesterday because my mom was crying.
We all had plans to go to Isaiah’s football game. I didn’t mention anything to my sister because she never answered the last text messages that I sent and disregarded the text from my mom asking her to see what I wanted because she said she didn’t get my message. You can only be shot down so many times. I figured she doesn’t want bothered by me, so why continue to bother someone? We all just kind of plan these family things without her because we all know the answer will be no and it’s just less hurtful to not hear the disappointment. She knows she’d always be included if she wanted to. I guess we all just assume now that the answer will be No, so why continue to ask? She texted my mom and invited her to come to her apartment for coffee. Well, obviously this is disheartening to us. The kids are here. She could come over and spend time with the kids and my dad, whom she hasn’t seen either. Wouldn’t that make sense? Instead, she isolates herself further. It just feels insulting to us, but again, there really isn’t much that we can do. My mom let her know we were going to Isaiah’s first game of the season and invited her. Well, I guess she said she couldn’t because she had other plans. I just thought that was weird because she had time to have coffee with mom, but not come to some of Isaiah’s game, even if it wasn’t the entire game. It’s just obvious that we are being avoided. It sucks because we truly thought she was changing and coming back around, but then she starts isolating herself again and we’re all just kind of confused.
It has been almost an entire year that everything broke. We all had hope that it would come back together a long time ago, but it hasn’t and I am finally starting to accept that it never will. I told Brittany yesterday that it feels like Nikki died. I said I know that seems so extreme, but it does. She agreed with me. You want someone around so much and to talk to them again, but you can’t. It really does feel like she died. It’s so strange. I still can’t believe this all happened because Brittany found out via me some of the things Nikki was saying about her and Britt posted on facebook about Nikki’s life change. I mean, that isn’t relationship breaking at all. It’s petty and stupid. High school at best. These aren’t things that tear apart a family at all. We’ve owned up to and apologized for our mistakes. It happened and you move on from them. Girls will be girls, and yes, we were typical gossiping girls.
I so wish I could just go back in time. It has sucked for an entire year. Even through the good times like having the baby and seeing him grow, there is always this element that is missing. During family dinners and excursions, there is always this small missing piece. Sometimes I think she gets her jollies off of making us feel this way because it sort of makes her feel superior. If we didn’t give her this feeling, then maybe she would come around. Almost like “absence makes the heart grow fonder” kind of stuff. We tried that. We tried being silent and quiet, but it didn’t really work. We tried the desperation avenue too. That also didn’t work. You can just see the change in her eyes. It’s so weird because she isn’t the same Nikki at all. I just remember her being so fucking funny. Like, she would say the CRAZIEST stuff that would have you in hysterics. She was always there to listen too. Sometimes her advice was a little harsh, but sometimes that rawness was necessary. She was humble too. She didn’t think she was better than you and was so relatable. Now, there is an air of “I am superior and better” “my life is better than yours” It’s strange and you’d truly just have to know her pre and post Nikki. It’s sad. It’s like her spirit was literally sucked right out of her and replaced with this unknown person.
I don’t know if she’s happy. I can’t tell. What I see when she is around is a façade. A person that is so closed off and just giving you the side of her that she thinks we want to see. Partying and drinking with her friends, always out and about, and just living such a fun life. Constantly being invited here and there and always busy and on the go. We don’t care about that stuff though. It’s all superficial and none of us even care to hear about that. We want to hear from the real Nikki. The one that was honest and caring. Asking us how we are and reciprocating with something personal about her life. She did replace her family with her friends. Maybe that is making her happy? I still can’t tell. What about when these people move on though? I guess that might never happen. We will always be there regardless, but it sucks that 15 more years might lapse before it happens.
It’s just so weird. I can’t even describe the huge, gaping hole that I have in my life. The sad thing is, I don’t know that I’d want to replace that hole with THIS person. I just want the OLD person back. Heck, I’d even take the OLD person with a MIX of the new. It’s better than nothing. She just absolutely hates me so badly guys. It makes me want to cry. Okay, I can’t type anymore about this…
We all had plans to go to Isaiah’s football game. I didn’t mention anything to my sister because she never answered the last text messages that I sent and disregarded the text from my mom asking her to see what I wanted because she said she didn’t get my message. You can only be shot down so many times. I figured she doesn’t want bothered by me, so why continue to bother someone? We all just kind of plan these family things without her because we all know the answer will be no and it’s just less hurtful to not hear the disappointment. She knows she’d always be included if she wanted to. I guess we all just assume now that the answer will be No, so why continue to ask? She texted my mom and invited her to come to her apartment for coffee. Well, obviously this is disheartening to us. The kids are here. She could come over and spend time with the kids and my dad, whom she hasn’t seen either. Wouldn’t that make sense? Instead, she isolates herself further. It just feels insulting to us, but again, there really isn’t much that we can do. My mom let her know we were going to Isaiah’s first game of the season and invited her. Well, I guess she said she couldn’t because she had other plans. I just thought that was weird because she had time to have coffee with mom, but not come to some of Isaiah’s game, even if it wasn’t the entire game. It’s just obvious that we are being avoided. It sucks because we truly thought she was changing and coming back around, but then she starts isolating herself again and we’re all just kind of confused.
It has been almost an entire year that everything broke. We all had hope that it would come back together a long time ago, but it hasn’t and I am finally starting to accept that it never will. I told Brittany yesterday that it feels like Nikki died. I said I know that seems so extreme, but it does. She agreed with me. You want someone around so much and to talk to them again, but you can’t. It really does feel like she died. It’s so strange. I still can’t believe this all happened because Brittany found out via me some of the things Nikki was saying about her and Britt posted on facebook about Nikki’s life change. I mean, that isn’t relationship breaking at all. It’s petty and stupid. High school at best. These aren’t things that tear apart a family at all. We’ve owned up to and apologized for our mistakes. It happened and you move on from them. Girls will be girls, and yes, we were typical gossiping girls.
I so wish I could just go back in time. It has sucked for an entire year. Even through the good times like having the baby and seeing him grow, there is always this element that is missing. During family dinners and excursions, there is always this small missing piece. Sometimes I think she gets her jollies off of making us feel this way because it sort of makes her feel superior. If we didn’t give her this feeling, then maybe she would come around. Almost like “absence makes the heart grow fonder” kind of stuff. We tried that. We tried being silent and quiet, but it didn’t really work. We tried the desperation avenue too. That also didn’t work. You can just see the change in her eyes. It’s so weird because she isn’t the same Nikki at all. I just remember her being so fucking funny. Like, she would say the CRAZIEST stuff that would have you in hysterics. She was always there to listen too. Sometimes her advice was a little harsh, but sometimes that rawness was necessary. She was humble too. She didn’t think she was better than you and was so relatable. Now, there is an air of “I am superior and better” “my life is better than yours” It’s strange and you’d truly just have to know her pre and post Nikki. It’s sad. It’s like her spirit was literally sucked right out of her and replaced with this unknown person.
I don’t know if she’s happy. I can’t tell. What I see when she is around is a façade. A person that is so closed off and just giving you the side of her that she thinks we want to see. Partying and drinking with her friends, always out and about, and just living such a fun life. Constantly being invited here and there and always busy and on the go. We don’t care about that stuff though. It’s all superficial and none of us even care to hear about that. We want to hear from the real Nikki. The one that was honest and caring. Asking us how we are and reciprocating with something personal about her life. She did replace her family with her friends. Maybe that is making her happy? I still can’t tell. What about when these people move on though? I guess that might never happen. We will always be there regardless, but it sucks that 15 more years might lapse before it happens.
It’s just so weird. I can’t even describe the huge, gaping hole that I have in my life. The sad thing is, I don’t know that I’d want to replace that hole with THIS person. I just want the OLD person back. Heck, I’d even take the OLD person with a MIX of the new. It’s better than nothing. She just absolutely hates me so badly guys. It makes me want to cry. Okay, I can’t type anymore about this…
Mummy's Nose Ass Neighbor
This weekend certainly had its highs and lows. The highs were so high that the lows don’t really matter, but maybe too many lows in a row has just put me in a grouchy mood today. I’m desperately trying to not let it get to me, but sometimes it’s easier said than done.
Friday was very nice. I had a half day at work. My mum watched Emerson for an hour, so that I could grocery shop afterwards. I ended up getting everything on my list and saving $5! That was a nice surprise. After grocery shopping, I picked Emerson up and headed home. Emerson ended up falling asleep on the way, so when we got home, I let him sleep. I put all of the groceries away and cleaned up the house. In the middle of cleaning, I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Of course, Kodie went nuts, which meant the baby woke up. I was pretty annoyed. What the hell does she want?! So, I open the door and she hands me a magnet letting me know there are bees in my front yard and she’d like to call my landlord to have him spend $250 on a bee removal service. I had to laugh at this. Who the hell does this woman think she is? She was the one who came over constantly when the skunks were in my yard. Even after the traps were set, she wouldn’t leave me alone! I just cannot stand her. If it’s on my property, then stay the fuck away from it and stay the hell away from me too. I’m so sick of her disrupting me. I just had the grass cut 2 days prior. I reached out to the person who cuts my grass and was told there was no bee’s nest. I did see bees, but nothing out of the ordinary for August. I can’t help the fact that mother nature has bees buzzing around my front yard. Too bad. She doesn’t hang out front, or back for that matter, so who cares?? It’s August. Soon, it’ll be chilly out and there won’t be any bees. I didn’t disturb my landlord over this. I assumed she’d leave it go and if I did notice any in excess, then I’d reach out.
Saturday, we had such a nice day. Emerson and I slept in. When we woke, I made us breakfast and we played at home. It was really nice not having anywhere to be early. He took several small naps. In between, I cleaned and got ready for the day. We had plans with my sister and nephew for later in the afternoon. We all headed down to the waterfront again to sincerely yogurt and then a trip to the bookstore. We had such a good time! The weather was absolutely beautiful. Emerson loved the bookstore so much. The kid’s section is freaking adorable. Obviously, I never ventured into it pre-kid, so I had no idea how adorable the set up was. It was fun looking around at all of the books. I bought him one too! He just got TONS for his half birthday, so I didn’t think we needed to buy loads. One was sufficient enough. Anyway, afterwards, we headed over to my parent’s house. We hung for a bit before we went home for the night. Emerson fought be a bit at bedtime, but after he was down for the night, I read a few chapters of “the fault in our stars”. My sister read it already, so once I am done, we’re going to go to see the movie. She is now reading “if I stay” I can’t wait to read that next. I read for about 45 minutes and then called it a night.
Sunday, Emerson and I slept in again. We woke up and I made a big breakfast for Kodie’s 2nd birthday! It feels like I’ve had her for so long. I got her in November of 2012, so I haven’t even had her for 2 years yet. Her birth date was August 24th. 2012 though, so we celebrate that date. After breakfast, Emerson and I got ready for the day. My nephew had his first football game, so we wanted to go to cheer him on. We got to my parent’s house around noon and were told the game didn’t start until 2:30pm. Originally, we thought it started around 1-1:30pm. Emerson and I suited up and hopped in the pool for an hour. The weather was beautiful! There was no way I was wasting that sitting around the house. We had such a good time. He absolutely loves the pool. Afterwards, I fed him and he napped for about 15 minutes before we had to leave for the game. The sun was BRUTAL. We were under an umbrella and he was lathered up in sunscreen, but he still ended up getting a small burn on his cheeks. Nothing horrendous, or anything to be concerned about, but he does have a tint of pink. We had a good time at the game though. The field was re-done. It looks amazing. The colors are so bright! Afterwards, we headed back into the pool for another hour. Emerson ended up taking another nap for about a half hour. I ate dinner with my family and chatted with my sister in the yard. It was really nice. We headed home around 7pm.
In true Emerson fashion, he snoozed on the way home. I took the opportunity to do bottles and try to get ready for daycare and work. Kodie was outside playing when my annoying neighbor knocked on the door! I shut the back door to quiet the barking to not wake Emerson. I wanted him to sleep for a small bit longer until I was done doing bottles. Then, I could do dinner and bath. Anyway, the neighbor just continued to knock and knock! What the hell, lady?! I ignored the door. I didn’t feel like answering to her ass. She finally left the front door and I heard the dog start to FREAK the hell out. I opened up the back door and noticed her trying to get into my yard. Okay, this has reached a serious level of ridiculousness! Kodie would have either bit her, or ran away if she would have opened the gate. Who the hell behaves this way?! I ran back to the front door and flew it open! She came back up my stairs and said “I need to ask about the bees” I told her the baby was sleeping and I cannot talk right now. She apologized and I slammed the door. What the hell?! I am so upset. Afterwards, I texted my landlord. He’s coming over this week to check things out just to appease this woman. I cannot take it though. I was so upset over it I started to cry. I am so sick of this woman. She has me on edge ALL of the time. She has me so on edge that if the baby cries, I worry that she can hear it and will complain about the noise, or think something bad is going on in my house! That is a ridiculous mindset, but she is constantly in my business. The other day, she said to me “Can I see your baby?” She had this accusatory tone to her voice too. I am a freaking WONDERFUL mother! I am not shy in saying that either. My baby is 100% taken care of. I don’t need this stupid whore questioning that, or giving me an accusatory tone. The next time she says anything to me, I’m just telling her like it is. I don’t know why I am so fearful to be direct with people. I don’t want confrontation, but this is over the line. You don’t behave this way. It isn’t right! Old people have such a complex. I don’t care that she’s older than me. She has no bearing on my life and needs to back the fuck off. I have so much going on. I don’t need to worry about this stupid bitch. It’s just an unnecessary stress. I hate having to bug my landlord. He is such a nice guy, but he has a family and a life too. Unless it’s seriously urgent like the skunks were, I don’t want to even do more than send my rent check.
After all of that occurred, I fed the baby dinner, gave him a bath, and tried putting him to bed. He was not having it for some reason. He bit me quite a few times. He hasn’t bit me in a month! I was so shocked and it completely caught me off guard. He finally went to sleep and so did I. he was up several times during the night though. I’m hoping it’s just a phase and it’ll pass quickly. I guess we’ll see how it goes tonight. This morning was so fucked up. I forgot my laptop! After I dropped the baby off, I had to go back to get it, which meant I missed the bus. I had to get on a later bus. Luckily, I wasn’t more than 30 minutes late for work. Then, one side of my pump isn’t working. I’m not sure what is up with that. When I pump again later, I’ll check it out, but I really am hoping it’s okay. I had to pump one side at a time. I just really want the rest of the day to be okay. No more surprises. My car is parked at a different park and ride now, so I’m hoping I don’t forget when I get off the bus later. That’ll be a nightmare!
This week, we don’t have much going on. I’m working in office Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I’ll do the laundry on Thursday, then work from home. Friday, I’m also working from home, but taking a half day before the holiday. I just want to have a really nice, calm week. No neighbor problems. Just nice peace and quiet. I hate feeling like I have to report to someone. I mean, I am a grown ass woman. I have enough on my plate. I just want this woman to leave me the hell alone! Sorry, I am trying to let it go. I’m excited for Labor Day weekend though. My sister and I are going to get some fall clothes for the baby on Saturday. Sunday and Monday, we are cooking out with the family. Pool time will be logged. Let’s pray for sunshine. I can’t wait!
I know this blog is me venting a lot, but outside of the neighbor, this was one of the best weekends we had this summer. I had such a good time with the baby and hanging out. He is so freaking adorable. He is so good at crawling onto his knees. He just isn’t crawling ON them yet. He moved ONE knee yesterday. We waited forever with our cameras out to record the first crawls. It won’t be long now. We are probably any minute away from it happening. It scares me that it’ll happen at daycare, but I think they are respectful enough to not tell me, so that I think the first time is when it happens at home. He is just too cute. He makes me smile so much and is truly my sunshine. I’m ending this on a good note. I hope everyone has a speedy Monday.
Friday was very nice. I had a half day at work. My mum watched Emerson for an hour, so that I could grocery shop afterwards. I ended up getting everything on my list and saving $5! That was a nice surprise. After grocery shopping, I picked Emerson up and headed home. Emerson ended up falling asleep on the way, so when we got home, I let him sleep. I put all of the groceries away and cleaned up the house. In the middle of cleaning, I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Of course, Kodie went nuts, which meant the baby woke up. I was pretty annoyed. What the hell does she want?! So, I open the door and she hands me a magnet letting me know there are bees in my front yard and she’d like to call my landlord to have him spend $250 on a bee removal service. I had to laugh at this. Who the hell does this woman think she is? She was the one who came over constantly when the skunks were in my yard. Even after the traps were set, she wouldn’t leave me alone! I just cannot stand her. If it’s on my property, then stay the fuck away from it and stay the hell away from me too. I’m so sick of her disrupting me. I just had the grass cut 2 days prior. I reached out to the person who cuts my grass and was told there was no bee’s nest. I did see bees, but nothing out of the ordinary for August. I can’t help the fact that mother nature has bees buzzing around my front yard. Too bad. She doesn’t hang out front, or back for that matter, so who cares?? It’s August. Soon, it’ll be chilly out and there won’t be any bees. I didn’t disturb my landlord over this. I assumed she’d leave it go and if I did notice any in excess, then I’d reach out.
Saturday, we had such a nice day. Emerson and I slept in. When we woke, I made us breakfast and we played at home. It was really nice not having anywhere to be early. He took several small naps. In between, I cleaned and got ready for the day. We had plans with my sister and nephew for later in the afternoon. We all headed down to the waterfront again to sincerely yogurt and then a trip to the bookstore. We had such a good time! The weather was absolutely beautiful. Emerson loved the bookstore so much. The kid’s section is freaking adorable. Obviously, I never ventured into it pre-kid, so I had no idea how adorable the set up was. It was fun looking around at all of the books. I bought him one too! He just got TONS for his half birthday, so I didn’t think we needed to buy loads. One was sufficient enough. Anyway, afterwards, we headed over to my parent’s house. We hung for a bit before we went home for the night. Emerson fought be a bit at bedtime, but after he was down for the night, I read a few chapters of “the fault in our stars”. My sister read it already, so once I am done, we’re going to go to see the movie. She is now reading “if I stay” I can’t wait to read that next. I read for about 45 minutes and then called it a night.
Sunday, Emerson and I slept in again. We woke up and I made a big breakfast for Kodie’s 2nd birthday! It feels like I’ve had her for so long. I got her in November of 2012, so I haven’t even had her for 2 years yet. Her birth date was August 24th. 2012 though, so we celebrate that date. After breakfast, Emerson and I got ready for the day. My nephew had his first football game, so we wanted to go to cheer him on. We got to my parent’s house around noon and were told the game didn’t start until 2:30pm. Originally, we thought it started around 1-1:30pm. Emerson and I suited up and hopped in the pool for an hour. The weather was beautiful! There was no way I was wasting that sitting around the house. We had such a good time. He absolutely loves the pool. Afterwards, I fed him and he napped for about 15 minutes before we had to leave for the game. The sun was BRUTAL. We were under an umbrella and he was lathered up in sunscreen, but he still ended up getting a small burn on his cheeks. Nothing horrendous, or anything to be concerned about, but he does have a tint of pink. We had a good time at the game though. The field was re-done. It looks amazing. The colors are so bright! Afterwards, we headed back into the pool for another hour. Emerson ended up taking another nap for about a half hour. I ate dinner with my family and chatted with my sister in the yard. It was really nice. We headed home around 7pm.
In true Emerson fashion, he snoozed on the way home. I took the opportunity to do bottles and try to get ready for daycare and work. Kodie was outside playing when my annoying neighbor knocked on the door! I shut the back door to quiet the barking to not wake Emerson. I wanted him to sleep for a small bit longer until I was done doing bottles. Then, I could do dinner and bath. Anyway, the neighbor just continued to knock and knock! What the hell, lady?! I ignored the door. I didn’t feel like answering to her ass. She finally left the front door and I heard the dog start to FREAK the hell out. I opened up the back door and noticed her trying to get into my yard. Okay, this has reached a serious level of ridiculousness! Kodie would have either bit her, or ran away if she would have opened the gate. Who the hell behaves this way?! I ran back to the front door and flew it open! She came back up my stairs and said “I need to ask about the bees” I told her the baby was sleeping and I cannot talk right now. She apologized and I slammed the door. What the hell?! I am so upset. Afterwards, I texted my landlord. He’s coming over this week to check things out just to appease this woman. I cannot take it though. I was so upset over it I started to cry. I am so sick of this woman. She has me on edge ALL of the time. She has me so on edge that if the baby cries, I worry that she can hear it and will complain about the noise, or think something bad is going on in my house! That is a ridiculous mindset, but she is constantly in my business. The other day, she said to me “Can I see your baby?” She had this accusatory tone to her voice too. I am a freaking WONDERFUL mother! I am not shy in saying that either. My baby is 100% taken care of. I don’t need this stupid whore questioning that, or giving me an accusatory tone. The next time she says anything to me, I’m just telling her like it is. I don’t know why I am so fearful to be direct with people. I don’t want confrontation, but this is over the line. You don’t behave this way. It isn’t right! Old people have such a complex. I don’t care that she’s older than me. She has no bearing on my life and needs to back the fuck off. I have so much going on. I don’t need to worry about this stupid bitch. It’s just an unnecessary stress. I hate having to bug my landlord. He is such a nice guy, but he has a family and a life too. Unless it’s seriously urgent like the skunks were, I don’t want to even do more than send my rent check.
After all of that occurred, I fed the baby dinner, gave him a bath, and tried putting him to bed. He was not having it for some reason. He bit me quite a few times. He hasn’t bit me in a month! I was so shocked and it completely caught me off guard. He finally went to sleep and so did I. he was up several times during the night though. I’m hoping it’s just a phase and it’ll pass quickly. I guess we’ll see how it goes tonight. This morning was so fucked up. I forgot my laptop! After I dropped the baby off, I had to go back to get it, which meant I missed the bus. I had to get on a later bus. Luckily, I wasn’t more than 30 minutes late for work. Then, one side of my pump isn’t working. I’m not sure what is up with that. When I pump again later, I’ll check it out, but I really am hoping it’s okay. I had to pump one side at a time. I just really want the rest of the day to be okay. No more surprises. My car is parked at a different park and ride now, so I’m hoping I don’t forget when I get off the bus later. That’ll be a nightmare!
This week, we don’t have much going on. I’m working in office Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I’ll do the laundry on Thursday, then work from home. Friday, I’m also working from home, but taking a half day before the holiday. I just want to have a really nice, calm week. No neighbor problems. Just nice peace and quiet. I hate feeling like I have to report to someone. I mean, I am a grown ass woman. I have enough on my plate. I just want this woman to leave me the hell alone! Sorry, I am trying to let it go. I’m excited for Labor Day weekend though. My sister and I are going to get some fall clothes for the baby on Saturday. Sunday and Monday, we are cooking out with the family. Pool time will be logged. Let’s pray for sunshine. I can’t wait!
I know this blog is me venting a lot, but outside of the neighbor, this was one of the best weekends we had this summer. I had such a good time with the baby and hanging out. He is so freaking adorable. He is so good at crawling onto his knees. He just isn’t crawling ON them yet. He moved ONE knee yesterday. We waited forever with our cameras out to record the first crawls. It won’t be long now. We are probably any minute away from it happening. It scares me that it’ll happen at daycare, but I think they are respectful enough to not tell me, so that I think the first time is when it happens at home. He is just too cute. He makes me smile so much and is truly my sunshine. I’m ending this on a good note. I hope everyone has a speedy Monday.
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