Yesterday was just so ridiculous. I picked Emerson up at 5:05pm from daycare. When I walked in, they let me know he wasn’t allowed to return until he saw his pediatrician. Immediately, I’m panicked. I’m looking at him and I see nothing wrong and then I notice his eye. It’s all gunky and filled with a yellow discharge. I assume it’s pink eye, but his eye doesn’t appear to be red at all. Anyway, when we get to the car, I call his ped to make an emergency appointment. All the while, I drive to the gas station because my gas light is on. I’m on hold with the doctor for over 15 minute. As irritating as that ways, I tried pumping gas in my car from two different pumps and neither were working. I was PISSED. I thought something was wrong with my car. We drive to another gas station, which luckily worked for us. I was able to get a doc’s appointment for the baby that evening too. As we are leaving the gas station, my car stalls. The engine sounds like absolute death. I call my parents and decide to head to their house to take my mom’s car to the doctor’s office. The commute to the doctor is about 25 minutes, so I didn’t want to chance it. Anyway, we get to the docs around 615pm and are not seen until nearly 830. By this time, all of the pharmacies have closed, so the doctor routes us to a pharmacy out of our area that’s 24 hours. We ended up getting antibiotic eye drops. The doctor ruled out pink eye, but had no idea what the infection could be. Luckily, his eye seems a lot better today, but still a bit goopy. Anyway, while we were at the doctor’s, my mom texted to tell me my car had no oil in it. Whoops. I haven’t had an oil change in well over a year, so that makes sense. My dad fixed the car up and is taking it for a proper oil change this weekend. In the meantime, I’m good to drive.
Today, I am working from home with the baby here. My mom is helping, so that I can get my work done and all of my meetings in. Emerson is napping now. When he wakes, I’m going to nurse him. What a day. I’m completely wiped from last night. We didn’t get home until well after 10pm! I had a half day tomorrow, but I canceled it. Instead, I’m sending Emerson to daycare and working all day from home in case they call me to pick him up early, which they better not. It pisses me off they didn’t call me to tell me he had an eye infection. It’s bullshit they tell me at 5pm when I’m picking him up. I could have made arrangements earlier in the day. On top of that, we go home after daycare. I had nothing with me. No diapers, nothing. Emerson was dirty and smelly from daycare too, so we had to go to the doctors like that. Not ideal. He doesn’t seem too bothered by his eye though. He’s as spunky as ever, which makes me happy.
I bawled so hard yesterday though. It was just too much all at once and I felt so alone. No support, nothing. Spending money on a co-pay and medicine (which our insurance did not cover, so it was more expensive) made me sick. In the end, I figured it out. I moved some things around in the budget to make room for that emergency. I felt extreme guilt and like life was spewing in my face for buying a new couch, Christmas gifts, and boots for myself. I know I can’t live my life waiting for something unexpected to happen, but it did make me think twice about spending any extra money just in case. I’m glad all is well now. I just hope there is a huge stretch between now and the next disaster..
I was talking to my best friend yesterday and she kept telling me that I need to file for child support. It isn’t right that Emerson’s father isn’t paying and that I have to kill myself every month and even worse if an emergency comes up. I get her perspective, but I just know he will be a fucking dick bag about it, so why even open up the can of worms? In my eyes, the guy doesn’t even exist and is just a low life piece of shit. He can take his money and ram it so far up his ugly asshole. Sorry, I’m just really angry that I nearly threw myself into a tizzy over a $20 co pay. It’s really a shame that things are that way sometimes because some fucking dick bag doesn’t feel the need to take financial responsibility for a human being he helped create. On the flip side, no amount of money is worth losing any more time with my baby. I hate having to work all week and not being able to see him, so fuck that. I deserve every bit of extra time outside of work with Emerson. Okay, I'm done bitching today. I'm allowed to have an opinion sometimes...And this isn't even an opinion. It's fucking facts.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Mummy's design issue
I’ve really been slacking on blogging lately. I’m sorry, guys! Nothing too new is going on aside from the usual. Emerson is crawling all around and starting to climb. He turned 8 months last week, which is absolutely mind boggling to think about. He’s learning to use his sippy cup and beginning to use a fork and spoon. He’s on the go, which is exciting, but exhausting for me. Less naps, less milk, but more solid food seems to be the going trend with him lately. Lots of play time, but bumps and bruises come along with that. I have a near heart attack at least once a day now! We are doing very well though and just cruising right through our first year together. It’s going extremely fast, so I’m trying to suck in as much as I can and really enjoy all of the experiences, good and bad.
My new couch is slated for delivery this week. I can’t wait. I did see a small bit of water leaking in my basement last night. I need to call my landlord. It’s alarming because it makes me hesitant to push forward with the playroom. I’m not going to furnish it and have carpeting put down for it to all be ruined. It’s a bit disheartening though because I want this playroom so much. We need space to play. My small dining room is not cutting it. I don’t want to think we’ve outgrown this house already, but it’s starting to seem that way. On top of that, I hate clutter and I like things to be in order. It sucks having to set up the play yard and basically wreck my living/dining room every evening. If that’s what I need to do though, then that’s what’ll happen. I just need to think of a creative way to house the toys when they aren’t in use, so that my living/dining room can actually look put together when it isn’t play time. The good thing is I didn’t put too much time, or money into what I’ve done in the basement, so I’m not losing out. I still have high hopes for that area, so I’ll wait until I speak with my landlord before I cut it out altogether. I was thinking of getting a bench for near the front door to house our shoes when we come in the front door. I was also thinking of getting a nice buffet that I could use as toy storage, which would disguise the fact that the dining room is doubling as a play room. Setting up and breaking down the play yard is the biggest pain, but seeing it take up half of my downstairs space kills me. I guess that is just one of the cons I’ll have to deal with. Giving Emerson space to play and grow is more important than having my house look decorative and put together. I’m just not one of those people that can let my kid tear the hell out of my house and have it be destroyed all day. We’ll have to work out something in the meantime.
Alright, that’s about all I have for now. I just got my flu shot today, so I’m hoping I don’t start to feel sick at all! Have a good day, everyone!
My new couch is slated for delivery this week. I can’t wait. I did see a small bit of water leaking in my basement last night. I need to call my landlord. It’s alarming because it makes me hesitant to push forward with the playroom. I’m not going to furnish it and have carpeting put down for it to all be ruined. It’s a bit disheartening though because I want this playroom so much. We need space to play. My small dining room is not cutting it. I don’t want to think we’ve outgrown this house already, but it’s starting to seem that way. On top of that, I hate clutter and I like things to be in order. It sucks having to set up the play yard and basically wreck my living/dining room every evening. If that’s what I need to do though, then that’s what’ll happen. I just need to think of a creative way to house the toys when they aren’t in use, so that my living/dining room can actually look put together when it isn’t play time. The good thing is I didn’t put too much time, or money into what I’ve done in the basement, so I’m not losing out. I still have high hopes for that area, so I’ll wait until I speak with my landlord before I cut it out altogether. I was thinking of getting a bench for near the front door to house our shoes when we come in the front door. I was also thinking of getting a nice buffet that I could use as toy storage, which would disguise the fact that the dining room is doubling as a play room. Setting up and breaking down the play yard is the biggest pain, but seeing it take up half of my downstairs space kills me. I guess that is just one of the cons I’ll have to deal with. Giving Emerson space to play and grow is more important than having my house look decorative and put together. I’m just not one of those people that can let my kid tear the hell out of my house and have it be destroyed all day. We’ll have to work out something in the meantime.
Alright, that’s about all I have for now. I just got my flu shot today, so I’m hoping I don’t start to feel sick at all! Have a good day, everyone!
Monday, October 6, 2014
Mummy's Me Day!
The weekend was fantastic, but exhausting. Friday was my ME day. I jam packed way too much into it and was a bit over ambitious, but I had a good time shopping. I started out at the mall where I bought myself a new pair of boots, 3 tops, 2 pair of jeans, a scarf, and tank for $80.00! I’ve been budgeting for quite some time to be able to buy myself a few new things. Everything I was wearing was worn during pregnancy and beforehand. All of my jeans were at least 2 sizes too big, so it is so nice to actually have pants that fit me now. The boots were buy one get one for $10, so I was able to get my sister a pair for Christmas. $45 boots for $10. I couldn’t pass that up. Afterwards, I did some Christmas shopping for Emerson. I was able to get 5 outfits, 4 toys, and a much needed coat for $60. I’m pretty much done with him aside from adding on some new bath toys and a couple of odds and ends. I’m not going overboard. He’s going to need a new car seat at some point too. I headed over to Walmart afterwards to pick up the ottoman, picture frames, and curtains that were finally in that I ordered over a week ago. I hurried home to set everything up. Wow is all I can say. It looks incredible. Later, I did all of the grocery shopping, plus picked up diapers, exchanged a shirt I had bought last week that was too small, then headed home to put it all away before picking Emerson up at daycare. What a day!
Saturday, we woke up early and headed to Walmart to buy a birthday gift for my friend’s daughter’s birthday party on Sunday. We bought her an adorable hello kitty sweater with glitter leggings. Later that day, we ran errands with my friend because she had to buy all of the stuff for the party on Sunday. We had a really nice time. We got home around 5pm, so we just played, did dinner, bath, then bed. Sunday, we went to my parent’s to visit. They were away all weekend for their anniversary, plus the party was over their way anyway, so we stopped on the wall. Emerson freaked out when I went to put him in his car seat to head to the party. I had to take him out. When I did, he conked out, so we ended up going to the party a little late. After the party, we came back to my parent’s house to hang for a bit. Again, another freak out when it was car seat time. I hope this isn’t a new trend because I’m not with it. He started wailing, arching his back, and trying to wiggle out. Insane! On Sunday night, we just did dinner, played, bath, then bed. He was a bear to put down last night. I was pretty exhausted, but he finally conked out around 930pm. He was up around midnight and 2am, but slept like a gem outside of those two small periods of time.
Today, I am working from home, but in the office the rest of the week aside from Thursday. I have a half day to cut down on daycare costs. I just paid for the entire month this morning. $717.25. Insane. I’m taking 5 half days this month to save on daycare costs, or that amount would have been well into the $900 mark. This month is just unusually long because the office isn’t closed at all (no holidays), so the baby would need to go every day. I get a break in November and December. Not much, but any amount helps. I let the baby sleep in a bit this morning too. I feel so bad waking him. It seems that he doesn’t hit his sleep stride, or big sleep pattern until about 2am. At that point, he usually sleeps 2-7am uninterrupted. I’ve noticed this pattern on the weekends. Before that, it seems he isn’t fully rested, stirs a bit, and wakes occasionally until around 2am. I feel bad waking him around 545 when he’s in the middle of his big sleep cycle.
This week, we don’t have much going on. I think we’re going to visit my friend this upcoming weekend. She’s pregnant and due within the next 4 days. Hopefully she holds on, so we can get a quick visit in before the baby is born. I’m excited for her though. Other than that, just work and daycare. I’m saving our pennies for the pumpkin patch, which we’re going to next Monday. I can’t wait! I just hope the weather is nice. Alright, I hope you all had fantastic weekends
Saturday, we woke up early and headed to Walmart to buy a birthday gift for my friend’s daughter’s birthday party on Sunday. We bought her an adorable hello kitty sweater with glitter leggings. Later that day, we ran errands with my friend because she had to buy all of the stuff for the party on Sunday. We had a really nice time. We got home around 5pm, so we just played, did dinner, bath, then bed. Sunday, we went to my parent’s to visit. They were away all weekend for their anniversary, plus the party was over their way anyway, so we stopped on the wall. Emerson freaked out when I went to put him in his car seat to head to the party. I had to take him out. When I did, he conked out, so we ended up going to the party a little late. After the party, we came back to my parent’s house to hang for a bit. Again, another freak out when it was car seat time. I hope this isn’t a new trend because I’m not with it. He started wailing, arching his back, and trying to wiggle out. Insane! On Sunday night, we just did dinner, played, bath, then bed. He was a bear to put down last night. I was pretty exhausted, but he finally conked out around 930pm. He was up around midnight and 2am, but slept like a gem outside of those two small periods of time.
Today, I am working from home, but in the office the rest of the week aside from Thursday. I have a half day to cut down on daycare costs. I just paid for the entire month this morning. $717.25. Insane. I’m taking 5 half days this month to save on daycare costs, or that amount would have been well into the $900 mark. This month is just unusually long because the office isn’t closed at all (no holidays), so the baby would need to go every day. I get a break in November and December. Not much, but any amount helps. I let the baby sleep in a bit this morning too. I feel so bad waking him. It seems that he doesn’t hit his sleep stride, or big sleep pattern until about 2am. At that point, he usually sleeps 2-7am uninterrupted. I’ve noticed this pattern on the weekends. Before that, it seems he isn’t fully rested, stirs a bit, and wakes occasionally until around 2am. I feel bad waking him around 545 when he’s in the middle of his big sleep cycle.
This week, we don’t have much going on. I think we’re going to visit my friend this upcoming weekend. She’s pregnant and due within the next 4 days. Hopefully she holds on, so we can get a quick visit in before the baby is born. I’m excited for her though. Other than that, just work and daycare. I’m saving our pennies for the pumpkin patch, which we’re going to next Monday. I can’t wait! I just hope the weather is nice. Alright, I hope you all had fantastic weekends
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Mummy's ME time
I can’t remember if I blogged yesterday. That’s REALLY sad. If I did/didn’t I’m sorry for repeating anything. Additionally, if anyone commented and I didn’t respond yet, I promise, I’ll get there today! Again, thank you so much to the endless feedback and responses that I get. You all are truly amazing and I appreciate it so much more than you’ll ever know. A portion of my passion for blogging is because of all of you. That sounds so cheesy, but it’s the truth. Knowing that so many of us are going through the same thing makes me feel a lot better. Power in numbers?
My mom and I are still not speaking. She hasn’t tried to reach out to me yet. I did text her on Monday to let her know that my sister arrived at the airport safely to pick up her fiancé. Her response, “Okay”. I didn’t push for any more than that either. I don’t feel that I should have to either. It’s time that I stop letting other people’s behavior pull me down. I can’t let my happiness be at the mercy of someone else’s irresponsibility either. When she’s ready to behave like an adult, she can speak to me. I hope she starts to realize that she needs to take accountability for her actions and begin to take the upper hand when it comes to her life. She can’t pin everything on my dad and expect him to constantly take care of her in the manner that he’s set for himself. What a standard, right?
My parents are going away this weekend for their 29th wedding anniversary. That means we won’t see them at all this weekend even if we wanted to. We’re going to my friend’s daughter’s 9th birthday party on Sunday from 1-4pm. We could head over there afterwards, but we probably won’t. Sunday evenings are always a little rough on us because we’re so out of routine from the weekend. I’m usually running around like a mad woman to prep things for work and daycare on Monday. Speaking of my parent’s wedding anniversary, this will shed some light on how twisted my mom’s brain works. She expects my sisters and I to give her and my dad gifts for their anniversary yet she NEVER gets my dad anything. If she does, it’s usually late. Does this make sense? I’m not married to you, or him, so I don’t understand why I need to acknowledge your marriage outside of a simple “Happy Anniversary”. Their marriage did not bring me life. In fact, I was born well before they said “I do”. I’m already preparing myself for the attitude I’ll get for not presenting her with some lavish gift.
We don’t have too many plans for the remainder of the week. We have so much on our calendar for this month, that I’m saving our pennies for the two pumpkin patches we’re visiting, a fundraiser hayride, trick or treating at the mall, and a boo bash at the zoo. So much is going on! I’m excited. On top of that, let’s not forget Halloween, Emerson’s fall pictures, and pumpkin carving.
There is a very special day this week that I’ve reserved just for myself. Friday is ME day. I’m so excited. It’s filled with nothing but errands, but that sounds like Heaven to me. Between 10:30am-5pm, I have time to myself. No work and no mommy duties. I haven’t had this luxury since May when I took the day off of work and sent the baby to daycare. Sometimes, you just need a mental health day for yourself. I’m not too keen on going out in the evenings, so this works well for me. Emerson’s routine is not broken and he won’t notice because he’s always at daycare during the week. I don’t feel so bad having spare time like that and just using it on myself. I don’t know why I feel the need to justify this though. I’m a really good mom and I dedicate all of my time outside of work to Emerson. Sometimes, you just need some time for yourself. I don’t go out and drink, or do anything else like that, so I feel like grocery and Christmas (yes, I said Christmas) shopping are acceptable to do without the baby.
Alright, that’s about all I have for today. I hope you are all having a wonderful week! Emerson and I are!
My mom and I are still not speaking. She hasn’t tried to reach out to me yet. I did text her on Monday to let her know that my sister arrived at the airport safely to pick up her fiancé. Her response, “Okay”. I didn’t push for any more than that either. I don’t feel that I should have to either. It’s time that I stop letting other people’s behavior pull me down. I can’t let my happiness be at the mercy of someone else’s irresponsibility either. When she’s ready to behave like an adult, she can speak to me. I hope she starts to realize that she needs to take accountability for her actions and begin to take the upper hand when it comes to her life. She can’t pin everything on my dad and expect him to constantly take care of her in the manner that he’s set for himself. What a standard, right?
My parents are going away this weekend for their 29th wedding anniversary. That means we won’t see them at all this weekend even if we wanted to. We’re going to my friend’s daughter’s 9th birthday party on Sunday from 1-4pm. We could head over there afterwards, but we probably won’t. Sunday evenings are always a little rough on us because we’re so out of routine from the weekend. I’m usually running around like a mad woman to prep things for work and daycare on Monday. Speaking of my parent’s wedding anniversary, this will shed some light on how twisted my mom’s brain works. She expects my sisters and I to give her and my dad gifts for their anniversary yet she NEVER gets my dad anything. If she does, it’s usually late. Does this make sense? I’m not married to you, or him, so I don’t understand why I need to acknowledge your marriage outside of a simple “Happy Anniversary”. Their marriage did not bring me life. In fact, I was born well before they said “I do”. I’m already preparing myself for the attitude I’ll get for not presenting her with some lavish gift.
We don’t have too many plans for the remainder of the week. We have so much on our calendar for this month, that I’m saving our pennies for the two pumpkin patches we’re visiting, a fundraiser hayride, trick or treating at the mall, and a boo bash at the zoo. So much is going on! I’m excited. On top of that, let’s not forget Halloween, Emerson’s fall pictures, and pumpkin carving.
There is a very special day this week that I’ve reserved just for myself. Friday is ME day. I’m so excited. It’s filled with nothing but errands, but that sounds like Heaven to me. Between 10:30am-5pm, I have time to myself. No work and no mommy duties. I haven’t had this luxury since May when I took the day off of work and sent the baby to daycare. Sometimes, you just need a mental health day for yourself. I’m not too keen on going out in the evenings, so this works well for me. Emerson’s routine is not broken and he won’t notice because he’s always at daycare during the week. I don’t feel so bad having spare time like that and just using it on myself. I don’t know why I feel the need to justify this though. I’m a really good mom and I dedicate all of my time outside of work to Emerson. Sometimes, you just need some time for yourself. I don’t go out and drink, or do anything else like that, so I feel like grocery and Christmas (yes, I said Christmas) shopping are acceptable to do without the baby.
Alright, that’s about all I have for today. I hope you are all having a wonderful week! Emerson and I are!
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