Ugh

The weekend was pretty nice. On Saturday, we went to the animal farm and spray park. Admission was free, so that was one of the best parts. We’re scraping the bottom of the barrel this week, so free was the only way to go over the weekend. Emerson had a nice time. We were there for a couple of hours. Sometimes, I wish the activities lasted longer. His attention span is pretty good, but obviously not as great as an older kiddo. I always set out to make these plans a whole day thing, but it usually doesn’t end that way. Anyway, afterwards, we didn’t do much. We visited my parents, then hung at home the rest of the day.

On Sunday, we went to the waterpark using our passes, therefore we spent $0. Afterwards, we went to my parent’s house for our 4th of July cookout. Emerson was driving me nuts. Actually, no. My dad was driving me nuts. He gets too paranoid. If Em even walks 50ft around the grill, my dad starts FLIPPING. Chill! It is just so hard to relax when someone is that paranoid. Trust me, he isn’t a dummy. He didn’t touch the grill not one time. Then, anytime he’d go near the screen door, my dad would have a cow saying that he was going to slam his fingers in the door. Seriously, drives me insane. Anytime he took a bite of food, “He’s gonna choke!” What?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So then I start getting mad at Emerson and telling him to stop when he isn’t even really doing anything wrong. It was just a frustrating day when it was supposed to be relaxing. It was too cold for us to even swim, so that made it worse. We had nothing to do in their yard. They have no toys. We ended up staying until about 630pm. We did fireworks when it was still light out.  We still had fun, but it was aggravating at times.

On Monday, Emerson and I headed to the mall. Yes, I know. It was the 4th of July, but it was rainy out, so no pool time. I found a gift card in my wallet, so I took him to Giggles and Smiles to play. He had a blast! He also played in the mall play place too, then we went to lunch.  It turned out to be a really nice day. I put Em down for a really late nap in hopes that he’d be refreshed enough for fireworks. He was! We headed to my sister’s house after cooking out at hour house to light sparklers. Fireworks started around 930pm. We had an amazing spot. Em was cool for the first half, then he started to get wild. He didn’t feel like sitting anymore. We kept passing him back and forth between our laps though and he made it all the way through. I’m sure he’s tired today from being out so late. My sister is picking him up from daycare because I have to work late.

This week, we’re not doing much. I don’t get paid until Friday. We don’t have much planned over the next two weeks either. We’re going to the waterpark and swimming at my parent’s house. That should be okay though. The weather will be much hotter this weekend, so going to the waterpark will be better. I barely even got into the water on Sunday.

I’m trying to put together a sensory room for Emerson. Emerson has Proprioceptive and Vestibular sensory needs. I’m trying to create a sensory diet for home, so that his appetite is fulfilled enough to leave certain behaviors behind. The aggression and constant movement are driving me absolutely insane. He is so rough with the dog and kids at school. On top of that, it is extremely hard for him to sit still beyond any normal level. You can see the change in him when we’ve been hanging around the house too long. I’m talking 3 hours into a morning and he’s a nightmare. Punching, hitting, kicking me/the dog. Extreme unruly behavior mixed with unsafe movements like climbing and jumping. I cannot even begin to think about what life will be like in the winter time. At least now I can take him out to do some things. I realize there are a lot of things lacking in our home to fulfil what he’s seeking. He has a ton of toys, but most aren’t really geared to what he needs. He needs the physical aspects. Playing with trucks and cars isn’t going to give him that. He needs to be able to crash/jump without getting hurt, and to swing/climb in a safe manner. I’m hoping once we have the capabilities in our home, then maybe he will get enough of what he is seeking. Working with the OT has been great, BUT she only sees him once a week. I haven’t adjusted anything in our home since he began his therapy, and I know they haven’t adjusted much at daycare. If we aren’t updating the way we approach this situation, then he isn’t ever going to overcome it. While it is extremely frustrating for me, I need to accept it and embrace the change. Some kids have too much sensory stimulation, while others have too little. He just isn’t getting what he needs daily.

Trust me, it has been extremely hard for me to come to terms with this. No one wants to see their child struggle, or to admit that they do have an issue. I chalked it up to typical 2 year old behavior, but I am seeing that it is not. I can’t play the blame game on his age all of the time. For some things, yes, but this is not one of those circumstances. Sometimes, I ask “Why me and why my kid?” but then I realize that all kids struggle in some way. I’m glad that we’re working with him now while his brain is so malleable. Hopefully we can teach him better ways to cope. I just wish I’d see major improvement already. I did notice that his speech is coming along more, but it is still very much behind. I know he becomes so frustrated when he has to repeat himself just for me to not understand. Trust me, I try. It eats me up daily that I can’t understand my own kid. I know he will get there, but it still hurts to watch.

His three month evaluation is due at the end of this month. I am curious to see what the therapist have to say about his growth. I thought we’d be a bit more ahead of where we are now, but I guess some change is better than no change at all. He is definitely giving his mama a run for her money. My ideas for the sensory room are pretty basic. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. We already have a big, yoga ball and a tunnel that he can crawl through. I want to get a toddler trampoline, some kind of a rocking chair, a small scooter, ball pit, and a couple of bean bags that he can crash and jump into. As we go along, I’m sure I’ll add some other things that’ll aid in what he’s lacking. Pinterest has been my best friend lately. I’ve gotten so many great ideas from there. I just hope this helps. I plan on purchasing the trampoline this weekend. I found one on sale that has a handlebar for safety.

I am sure a lot of you are reading this thinking I am nuts, but he isn’t your child. You aren’t with him to see the struggle and to see him in motion. As moms, it is our duty to help our kiddos. That’s exactly what I plan on doing. I’ll update you all to let you know how things progress.