Much better!!!

When I picked Emerson up from daycare, his OT left her notes/report in his cubby. I couldn’t wait to get home to read it! Emerson was back in the baby room, so I went back there to get him. When I opened the door, he screamed “MUM, MUM, MUM, MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and ran over and grabbed my hand to leave. After telling his teachers “Bye” 25 times, we finally made it out of the door. He is funny. It was so hot at home, so I decided to just do an easy dinner. We had scrambled eggs, yogurt, and bananas. Random, but it didn’t really require me to use the stove for too long. We hung in the house because it was so hot outside. Em’s pool needs to be cleaned out. I knew if we played in the yard, he’d definitely try to jump in. The grass was cut yesterday when we went home, which was nice. That’ll be great for the weekend. They hadn’t come to cut it in over 2 weeks. I was starting to get worried.

Anyway, I had to make snack for school, so I ended up making cookie monster bark and sending chocolate chip cookies in too. Man, it came out so adorably. I hope the kids and teachers enjoy it. I haven’t done a cute snack in quite some time, so we were due. I’ve been sending in lame stuff like bananas, or crackers. Easy, fast, and cheap. I wanted to do something nice for them though. Everyone has been working so hard with Emerson.

When I finally had a minute to sit down, I read over the report. The OT said all great things. Em transitioned nicely from activity to activity. He even sat and did his craft for EIGHT whole minutes. That’s a lot for him. He was cooperative too. She left some notes for me and suggested that we use a stability ball at home. That tickled me pink considering I had already incorporated the ball into our living room and he was using it! It made me feel good that she suggested things that I had already researched on my own. He was a bit rough with the dog last night, but he was tired, and hot too, so his behavior was a little restless. We used the stability ball for a while, and he even used some pillows on the floor to crash into. The OT suggests that we do these activities prior to transitioning to another activity like bedtime, bath time, or even leaving the house to go out. We’ll try that. It might make him a lot more calm when we’re out for activities.

This morning, I went to the gym to lift. I took a break from running.. Tomorrow, I set a goal to run 2.8 miles. I’m trying to close the 3 mile gap in a progressive manner. Let’s hope I can do it. I feel so much better this week now that I started to work out again. My eating needs to be cleaned up, but I’ll handle that after I do our weekly grocery shop. We need to finish the food we have in our house. If that means I’m eating outside of my meal plan-so be it. I am not a waster! I usually have to get the exercise portion back on track before the food falls into place. It’s too hard getting those two things to align at first, so I’m not worried about it. I’m headed in the right direction.

We have such nice plans for the weekend! I’m excited. On Friday, I’m ordering Emerson’s mini trampoline. It sucks that I can’t just go buy it, but I looked at the store last night and they had NONE. I don’t feel like wasting my time and gas trying to find one at another store. I’d rather just order the discounted one I found online. We should get it by next week though. Saturday, we’re heading to Sandcastle in the afternoon. We typically go right when it opens, but I decided to change it up this weekend. We can do our grocery shopping on Saturday morning, then hang at home for a while. Going later in the day will eat up some time, so when we get home, Em can have dinner, watch some tv, get a bath, then head to bed. Sounds good to me!

Sunday, we have quite a bit going on. I forgot that we had a graduation party to attend at 3pm. That sort of threw a wrench into our original plans. Now, we’re going to breakfast in the morning, then heading over to the mall to Build-A-Bear, so Emerson can build a bear-duh! I’m so excited. The mall has a pretty nice play place too, so we can let him play in there when we’re done. I hope he likes building a bear. The nice thing is we should be able to get out of there fairly cheap. He isn’t going to care about dressing his bear, or accessorizing. Stuffing it and adding in the heart will be thrilling enough. I’m pretty sure they have bears that start out around the $15 mark too. It’ll be a cute activity for us to do. Something different. I don’t know where breakfast will be. I am not too keen on sit down restaurants because Emerson is usually not into that. I’m going to look to see what coffee/donut shops are around the mall. This isn’t a mall we frequent often, so maybe we’ll stumble upon something new. If not, then we will go to Dunkin Donuts beforehand, which we have coupons for.  Afterwards, I’m hoping Emerson takes a nap, then we can head over to the grad party.  That should pretty much round out our weekend!

I don’t know if I mentioned this, but my nephew has been in California for the last three weeks. He comes home on the 25th! My sister organized a surprise party for him on the 26th, so that should be fun. I took off the 26th and the 27th. On the 27th, the plan is to take my nephew to Sandcastle. I don’t think he’s done too much in California. They did go to Six Flags over the weekend and to the beach one day, but that’s about it. We’re trying to save all of our bigger excursions for when he comes back.  I hope he is excited to do all of the stuff that we have planned.

Alright. That’s about all I have for today.

Have a super Thursday!

Much better

Yesterday, I had an interview for a promotion within my team. I think it went well. I know my supervisor has several more interviews to conduct before narrowing it down before the second round of interviews begin. I really hope I get this position. It would be a bump in pay, which is obviously one of the main factors that I’m applying, but it would be a challenge and an opportunity to grow my career. This would be a major stepping stone for me that would open more doors down the line. Cross your fingers and toes, please?!

Emerson’s occupational therapist contacted me yesterday with positive feedback. She said that she sees a lot of growth with Emerson and that he is progressing. That made me feel better considering I was feeling frustrated yesterday. Last night, he behaved perfectly. He had no aggressive outbursts at all. I put a yoga ball in the living room. He was bouncing on it, while eating snack and watching t.v. It’s funny to watch small changes occur just from offering a sensory outlet in our living room. I’m sure a lot of you are shaking your heads and thinking I am full of crap, but I don’t care. You don’t live in our home, nor do you personally know my son, or see his struggles. I can tell that this type of therapy is beneficial, so I am going to forge ahead with offering more sensory options in our home in hopes that it really aids in what he is seeking. The ball is a bit on the large side though, which makes it difficult for him to use properly. He does have fun climbing and falling off, but having something he can sit and bounce on would be better. I’m keeping my eyes out for something smaller. On Friday, I’m picking up a mini trampoline. I think he’ll enjoy that a lot. The one I found has a handlebar for safety. The price isn’t bad at all. I found it at Walmart for $26. I hope they have it in store, or I’m going to have to order it online, which sucks. I don’t want to have to wait for it to be delivered. I’m also going to pick up a mini handheld massager. Apparently kiddos seeking this type of sensory output like the vibrations. This makes complete sense now because he is obsessed with holding my electric toothbrush. They are fairly cheap and fall somewhere around the $6 mark. Between the trampoline, ball, and massager, we should be in good shape for a while until I can get the other things that we need for our room.

It was pretty incredible to watch last night though now that I am more aware of what is going on in his mind.  I picked him up from my sister’s house because she had to grab him for me from daycare. We hung there for a bit before heading home. When we walked in the door, I let the dog out to pee, then turned the tv on. It was already 7pm, which meant bath and bed were looming. He watched tv for a bit, while bouncing on his ball. He walked over to his toy area, grabbed all of his Little People and his Little People Plane, then played quietly in the living room. I guess he got all that he needed from the ball, was content, and able to move onto some quieter play. Typically, he is extremely wound up, cannot calm himself down, and will become very aggressive towards the dog. Yes, he will watch tv and play with toys intermittently, but he still has that aggression through kicking, gauging, and hitting. He directs this towards me at times too, or he will want to rough house. I have a no rough house rule when it’s that close to bedtime either. I don’t like getting him wound up. He usually cannot calm himself down and then it spirals from there. I had to do nothing last night. I gave him the tools that he needed and he handled the rest. Do I think it’ll always go this smoothly? No, but I am happy that I am putting forth the effort and he is being receptive to it.

I just want to clarify something. Emerson is a completely normal kid. If you met him and saw him in action, he’d steal your heart. He is a cute patootie, so loveable, and silly. He has a wild streak though, which gets him into trouble. He gets overly excited and his affection can quickly turn to aggression. All we’re trying to do is show him ways to calm himself down, and to get what he is seeking in a healthy, safe way without potentially harming himself, or other people. If you saw him, you’d say “He’s being 2”, but now that I know what is going on, I can say “No, he is seeking <insert sensory issue here>”. Once he has that need met, he calms down, moves on, and is fine.

He has a therapy session today with his OT. She is going to pay close attention to see what triggers the excitement in him, which is really driving the aggressive behavior. We’re thinking if we can catch it first, then we can try to prevent it, or at least control it more. I’ve been doing the same at home. I think what gets him excited is me. I am a naturally loud person. I am extremely silly and I’ll burst out into song for no apparent reason. I think he feeds off of my energy. Once he is so far gone, that’s it. Last night, I was sure to stay in a calm manner. I wasn’t overly excited, or loud. I kept my sillies to a normal level.  Anyway, I am going to continue to do what I am doing, take tips from the OT, and just be positive that the changes we’re making will help Emerson to better process his senses! More to come.

The last two mornings, I’ve ran before work. I did 2.5 miles both days. I really want to push for that third mile. I’m going to give it a whirl on Friday. I used to do 3 miles with such ease. It’s crazy having to climb back up. I enjoy running a lot. I’m not trying to run marathons, or anything, but I do have a goal of being able to run at least 5 miles. I know it’ll take me some time to get up to that, but I’m going to work towards it. My plan is to drive to work on Friday, so that I can have even more time to run. That way, I can still have enough time to shower and get ready at the gym before work. Right now, running 2.5 miles and getting ready for work is putting me at the 45 minute mark. I’ve been taking an early lunch, which only allots me 45 minutes. I’ll need a little more time if I’m pushing for that third mile. Right now, it takes me about 8.5 minutes to run 1 mile. Sometimes a little less. The last two mornings, It’s take me about 21-22 min to run 2.5 miles. Adding in another half shouldn’t take me too much longer, but I’d like some extra time just in case. LOL.  I really want to lose the pesky pounds I’ve put on over the last few months. It’s only noticeable in my bum and thighs, which is so annoying. Everything else stayed the same for the most part. I half want to blame it on all of the lifting. I know those squats had A LOT to do with this. I just don’t like it. I’ve stopped squatting and have cut my leg days down to like nothing. I’m doing extra cardio now, which is why I’ve picked up more running. I think this will do the trick. I can get the stronger, leaner legs back that I had before I decided to get into heavy lifting. I miss that. I’ll continue to lift to work my upper body. I love my arms and I don’t mind that they have so much muscle. Running should lean out the rest of me though, which I won’t be mad about. I need to clean up my diet though. I fell off pretty hard the last month. It feels good to have ran the last two mornings though. I forgot what that felt like. It’s very addicting, but in a good way.

Alright, that’s all I have for today. I do feel a lot better today though J

Ugh

The weekend was pretty nice. On Saturday, we went to the animal farm and spray park. Admission was free, so that was one of the best parts. We’re scraping the bottom of the barrel this week, so free was the only way to go over the weekend. Emerson had a nice time. We were there for a couple of hours. Sometimes, I wish the activities lasted longer. His attention span is pretty good, but obviously not as great as an older kiddo. I always set out to make these plans a whole day thing, but it usually doesn’t end that way. Anyway, afterwards, we didn’t do much. We visited my parents, then hung at home the rest of the day.

On Sunday, we went to the waterpark using our passes, therefore we spent $0. Afterwards, we went to my parent’s house for our 4th of July cookout. Emerson was driving me nuts. Actually, no. My dad was driving me nuts. He gets too paranoid. If Em even walks 50ft around the grill, my dad starts FLIPPING. Chill! It is just so hard to relax when someone is that paranoid. Trust me, he isn’t a dummy. He didn’t touch the grill not one time. Then, anytime he’d go near the screen door, my dad would have a cow saying that he was going to slam his fingers in the door. Seriously, drives me insane. Anytime he took a bite of food, “He’s gonna choke!” What?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So then I start getting mad at Emerson and telling him to stop when he isn’t even really doing anything wrong. It was just a frustrating day when it was supposed to be relaxing. It was too cold for us to even swim, so that made it worse. We had nothing to do in their yard. They have no toys. We ended up staying until about 630pm. We did fireworks when it was still light out.  We still had fun, but it was aggravating at times.

On Monday, Emerson and I headed to the mall. Yes, I know. It was the 4th of July, but it was rainy out, so no pool time. I found a gift card in my wallet, so I took him to Giggles and Smiles to play. He had a blast! He also played in the mall play place too, then we went to lunch.  It turned out to be a really nice day. I put Em down for a really late nap in hopes that he’d be refreshed enough for fireworks. He was! We headed to my sister’s house after cooking out at hour house to light sparklers. Fireworks started around 930pm. We had an amazing spot. Em was cool for the first half, then he started to get wild. He didn’t feel like sitting anymore. We kept passing him back and forth between our laps though and he made it all the way through. I’m sure he’s tired today from being out so late. My sister is picking him up from daycare because I have to work late.

This week, we’re not doing much. I don’t get paid until Friday. We don’t have much planned over the next two weeks either. We’re going to the waterpark and swimming at my parent’s house. That should be okay though. The weather will be much hotter this weekend, so going to the waterpark will be better. I barely even got into the water on Sunday.

I’m trying to put together a sensory room for Emerson. Emerson has Proprioceptive and Vestibular sensory needs. I’m trying to create a sensory diet for home, so that his appetite is fulfilled enough to leave certain behaviors behind. The aggression and constant movement are driving me absolutely insane. He is so rough with the dog and kids at school. On top of that, it is extremely hard for him to sit still beyond any normal level. You can see the change in him when we’ve been hanging around the house too long. I’m talking 3 hours into a morning and he’s a nightmare. Punching, hitting, kicking me/the dog. Extreme unruly behavior mixed with unsafe movements like climbing and jumping. I cannot even begin to think about what life will be like in the winter time. At least now I can take him out to do some things. I realize there are a lot of things lacking in our home to fulfil what he’s seeking. He has a ton of toys, but most aren’t really geared to what he needs. He needs the physical aspects. Playing with trucks and cars isn’t going to give him that. He needs to be able to crash/jump without getting hurt, and to swing/climb in a safe manner. I’m hoping once we have the capabilities in our home, then maybe he will get enough of what he is seeking. Working with the OT has been great, BUT she only sees him once a week. I haven’t adjusted anything in our home since he began his therapy, and I know they haven’t adjusted much at daycare. If we aren’t updating the way we approach this situation, then he isn’t ever going to overcome it. While it is extremely frustrating for me, I need to accept it and embrace the change. Some kids have too much sensory stimulation, while others have too little. He just isn’t getting what he needs daily.

Trust me, it has been extremely hard for me to come to terms with this. No one wants to see their child struggle, or to admit that they do have an issue. I chalked it up to typical 2 year old behavior, but I am seeing that it is not. I can’t play the blame game on his age all of the time. For some things, yes, but this is not one of those circumstances. Sometimes, I ask “Why me and why my kid?” but then I realize that all kids struggle in some way. I’m glad that we’re working with him now while his brain is so malleable. Hopefully we can teach him better ways to cope. I just wish I’d see major improvement already. I did notice that his speech is coming along more, but it is still very much behind. I know he becomes so frustrated when he has to repeat himself just for me to not understand. Trust me, I try. It eats me up daily that I can’t understand my own kid. I know he will get there, but it still hurts to watch.

His three month evaluation is due at the end of this month. I am curious to see what the therapist have to say about his growth. I thought we’d be a bit more ahead of where we are now, but I guess some change is better than no change at all. He is definitely giving his mama a run for her money. My ideas for the sensory room are pretty basic. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. We already have a big, yoga ball and a tunnel that he can crawl through. I want to get a toddler trampoline, some kind of a rocking chair, a small scooter, ball pit, and a couple of bean bags that he can crash and jump into. As we go along, I’m sure I’ll add some other things that’ll aid in what he’s lacking. Pinterest has been my best friend lately. I’ve gotten so many great ideas from there. I just hope this helps. I plan on purchasing the trampoline this weekend. I found one on sale that has a handlebar for safety.

I am sure a lot of you are reading this thinking I am nuts, but he isn’t your child. You aren’t with him to see the struggle and to see him in motion. As moms, it is our duty to help our kiddos. That’s exactly what I plan on doing. I’ll update you all to let you know how things progress.

Summer bucket list

Yesterday, I planned an impromptu trip to Kennywood (amusement park). They had a superhero event that ran through yesterday. My company was still offering discounted tickets, so I bought one for myself. Emerson is free, so it made sense to go. It was super fun! I left work a little bit early, so that we could make it there before 5. We stayed for about 3 hours. Emerson had a great time riding all of the rides. The lines were so short too, so there was no wait.

Afterwards, we stopped at my parent’s house, so that I could borrow some stuff from my mom. I accidentally left my gym bag on the bus yesterday with all of my make-up, deodorant, curling iron, hair brush, gym shoes/clothes, all of my Tupperware containers from my lunch, and my magic bullet cups too. I was so upset. My phone charger and sun glasses were also in that bag along with my gym towel. My mom gave me some make-up, a hair brush, and deodorant to make it through today. When I got on the bus this morning, a woman told me that my bag was found and turned in. I called port authority today and they have my bag. Emerson and I will pick it up tonight. It sucks to have to make a trip after work, but it is what it is. I have to get my stuff.

After yesterday’s trip to Kennywood, we’re poor until payday next Friday, July 8th. The good news is we have some nice, free things planned for the weekend. We’re doing the spray park on Saturday and Sandcastle on Sunday. With our passes, we won’t have to pay any money at all. That’ll be enough excitement to get us through.  We have a lot of other fun things planned coming up, so it’ll be fine. We can’t do something every day. Sometimes, you just have to enjoy what you already have.

Our bucket list is coming along so nicely though. Below are the items we’ve checked off already.

Kennywood (twice)

The Zoo

Our Local Spray Park

The Lake

Sandcastle Water Park (twice)

Kerber’s Dairy

Sarris Candy Factory

Mt Washington Overlook/South Side fountain

Upcoming adventures include:

The better Spray Park

More trips to Sandcastle

Idewild Amusement and Water Park

Living Treasures Animal Park

Indoor/Outdoor Water Park

JellyStone Park

The Wave Pool

Boat Cruise

Build-A-Bear

The Regatta

The Bubble Run

The Color Run (Emerson isn’t doing this one with me though. This is just for mommy)

I’m excited.  We don’t have much planned over the next two weeks though. We’re doing Sandcastle a couple of times and the Wave Pool. The Color Run is on the 16th, so we’re organizing a trip with friends to Sandcastle for after that are running with me. I think I am going to sneak our Build-a-Bear trip in somewhere. It’ll shake things up a bit and I think he will really enjoy doing that. I am just trying to make sure that we have some fun things planned periodically. I want Emerson to have a fun summer, but this is also for me too. I do get joy out of doing all of these things too.

I was having a bit of a heated discussion with someone the other day regarding doing things for me. They assume because I am not going to a club/bar, that it means I am not doing things for myself. All of these excursions just aren’t for Emerson. Its things that I want to do too. I like going to the pool, zoo, amusement parks, etc. It’s fun for me. I could do more things without him, but I prioritize and I realize that we do not have funds to do separate things all of the time. I am happy I get to do the color run with my sister and friends. That’s a treat to myself this summer. I do things after he is in bed though. I rent movies, read a book, etc. I also consider anytime that I work out just for me. I have been slacking MAJORLY on that lately. I need to get back into it. I had planned on running yesterday, but skipped lunch to leave early for Kennywood. I have no running shoes today because I left my bag on the bus last night, to today is ruined too. I’m shooting for tomorrow though.  Anyway, I don’t think drinking defines having a good time, or doing things for yourself. I just don’t feel like spending my money, or time in that manner. I’d rather go see a movie, hike, do something outdoorsy, go to dinner, etc. All things that have nothing to do with being out late with drunk people. It doesn’t interest me anymore and I think a lot of people have a hard time grasping that. I am not the same person that I once was. I was very social before, and loved going out. I had the luxury of being that way. I had my time and it was great. I fully experienced my 20s, but now, I am at a different part in life. It’s great!