Work is so busy. I can’t even tell you. Every day, I think “This is going to be the day where it goes back to a normal pace” Daily, I’m absolutely wrong. I shatter that dream within ten minutes of arriving in the office. I’m so burnt out from work, that it’s carrying over into my personal life. I’m more agitated as a parent, a friend, girlfriend, sister, daughter, etc. I can’t help it! I use all of my energy at this place. By the time I get home, I’m done. I want nothing to do with anyone. It’s always extremely difficult the first 3-4 months of the year before it starts to level off. We just haven’t hit that point yet. I hope we do sooner rather than later because I absolutely need a break. We all do!
Anyway, Emerson started preschool two weeks ago, however it isn’t going that well. He is still receiving services, but through a different organization. He has a behavioral and speech therapist like he did before. There was an incident at school the other day where he choked another child. Apparently, this sparked quite a ruckus from the other parent and the teachers were “distraught”. It is now being suggested that I reach out to an external facility to have Emerson’s behavioral health evaluated to diagnose if there is an issue like ODD, or ADD. This is all a result of ONE incident. Remember a year ago when he transitioned into the two year old room from the one year old room? He had such a hard time. That’s when talk of providing services came about. I really do think it’s all due to transitioning and him still not fully talking and being able to communicate his frustrations. I am going to ride this wave a bit before I jump to any conclusions. He is more unruly than ever though, which I’m attributing to the age. I hope it’s just a three year old phase and it quickly dies out. We will see. I am not the type of parent who lives in denial though. I think I’ve proven that over the course of the year by continuously working with his therapists to further is development and even implementing strategies into our home life. I am all for aiding in his development, but I am not going to seek outside resources until I actually give him the chance to get used to all of this change. His therapist suggested the same.
The Emerson situation is stressing me out just like it did last year. I mean, I was beyond stressed that I developed that rash. Remember the burning sensation that I had all over my body? It felt like I was getting shingles, or something. Obviously, I don’t want to develop the same thing, so I’m trying to keep my cool, and to try to not stress about it, but it is HARD. I have so much weighing on me right now. It just makes it hard for me to focus on anything else. I’ve been such a crappy girlfriend for the last two weeks and I can’t help it. I’m in such a funk over being completely bogged down at home and work, that I can’t even give the extra energy to Tim. I’ve been extremely craving space too, which he’s been respectful about. Luckily, he is a very sweet and understanding person, but I wish I could just fast forward and get myself back to normal NOW. I’m just exhausted!! The thought of having to sit down and entertain someone after working all day sounds DREADFUL, even if we are just sitting on the couch watching a movie. On the weekends, I’m completely EXHAUSTED by Emerson, especially with his behavior lately. I just don’t have it in me right now. The last time we spent time together was on Sunday at my sister’s house for the super bowl. We are seeing each other tomorrow to do a Cupid Undie Run for charity. Yes, we are running in underwear. No, I am not excited about flaunting this body all over the city, but I feel bad that I’ve been so distant lately, that I couldn’t really say no. I mean, the guy endures a lot, so the least I could do was say yes to this. Hopefully, I don’t look like a fool.
On Sunday, my sister and I are taking the boys to Monster Trucks. God, I am dreading this. Please pray for me that my child is well-behaved and wants to sit there watching. I have fears now that we’ll end up having to leave ten minutes into it because he’s freaking out. That’s about all we have planned for the weekend though. It’s nice to have something on deck instead of sitting in the house. Speaking of house, we finally agreed upon one for Disney. The dates that we want are actually available too, which is nice. I’ve scoured thousands upon thousands of house listings and finally found one that is suitable for all of our needs. Traveling with a 3 and 13 year old poses so many challenges. I wanted a house that had some toys for Emerson, but an Xbox or PS3 for Isaiah. Pretty normal, right? WRONG. They either had one, or the other, never both. Yes, we will be busy bees, but the times that we are at the house, it’ll be nice for the boys to have something to do, so that the moms can try to relax. There are four bedrooms with one being a toddler room complete with a toddler bed (not that this mattered), tons of toys, and mickey décor for days. There is also a private pool, which was an absolute must have for all of us. When we’re done sight-seeing and at the parks, we can come home, relax, have dinner, and let the boys swim. We planned some down days as well, so that we can hang at the house and enjoy the pool. I’m excited. I have a lot more to plan though. We need a full park itinerary. We’re only spending one day at Magic Kingdom, so I want to make sure we make the most of our time there and get to do as much as possible. Messing around wandering aimlessly around the park will be a time waster. This way, we can plan our fast passes accordingly. The best part is it’s only going to cost me $1400 and her $1400.00 $700/ person for flight, house, rental car, tickets to Magic Kingdom, and tickets to one of the water parks. It’s so much cheaper to stay off Disney. The house is only 15 minutes away too, so it’s still close with a lower price tag! You always hear people spending $5,000 to go to Disney, but we’ve definitely found the more affordable option. My friend is going for TEN days with her two small children and husband. They are staying at a resort. I would DIE being cooped up in a tiny room for TEN days! That is going to cost a fortune!
Alright, guys. That’s all I have now. I will catch up next week!
