Our Christmas.

Christmas was amazing. Seriously, amazing. When Emerson walked down the stairs and saw all of his presents, he was in awe! I pre-built the train table and the racetrack, so he immediately saw both of those. The car ramp I bought was wrapped, so after he unwrapped that, I tackled the task of building it. This thing is major. It is a huge car ramp that transforms into another ramp. I’ll put pictures below of everything, so that you guys can see. It was NOT an easy build and pretty much consumed my Christmas morning. I had fears that Em would play with his toys for two minutes, then get bored with them, but that wasn’t the case at all. It was a job in itself just to pull him out the door to head to my sister’s house for breakfast. I felt bad that he had to leave his toys after only having about an hour to play with them. Luckily, I knew my sister got him the Little People Bus, so I knew once he opened that, he’d be excited. he is obsessed with buses, so that was a sure win! She also got him a puzzle, and a stocking filled with everything you can imagine. Toys, wipes, a new cup, candy, body wash, a new tooth brush, tooth paste, etc. After exchanging gifts, we waited for my parents to get there to dig into breakfast. She made eggs, and a cinnamon roll French toast casserole. It was delicious! We hung around for a while, then went to my parent’s house.

 

My parent’s house was so overwhelming. There were so man presents all over the place. Emerson seemed very overwhelmed and even started to cry when he was opening gifts. I’m not surprised. The day was moving very quickly and anytime he opened something, he couldn’t really play with it before moving onto the next thing. Eventually, I ended up opening his stuff for him. They got him a lot of clothes, socks, underwear, and a new coat. I appreciated all of those things so much. Additionally, they bought him his own recliner, a tool bench, and a train table for their house! He also got some puzzles and balls. Plus, his stocking was filled up with little trinkets and candy.

 

My parents bought me so much stuff. I was so overwhelmed opening up gifts. They got me my fireplace/mantle. It is absolutely gorgeous! I put it together yesterday. You guys will die when you see it! Additionally, I got some gift cards, tickets to a Pen’s game with my sister in March (Mom’s night out!), a best friend necklace that goes with one my sister got, new socks, jammies, some clothes, kitchenware, and everything else under the sun. I can’t even process all of the things they got us. I still haven’t found a spot for it all in my house, but am working on putting it all away. Our house is overflowing between Em’s stuff and mine. I was exhausted after building that fireplace yesterday and cleaning. Heck, I still feel tired today!

 

Anyway, after all of the excitement wore off, Em and I headed home around noon to take a nap before we headed back over for dinner. Emerson napped until 3pm. We got dressed, then headed back for dinner. My older sister was there with some gifts for Em. She got him some puzzles, and a piano that he can actually walk on. It’s pretty cool and he seems to like it. We hung at my parent’s until about 6pm, then headed back home, so that Em could finally enjoy his new toys. It was a busy day with a lot of back and forth.

 

Yesterday, we lounged around all day. Em played with his toys, I cleaned, and we watched a lot of dvds. It was nice, but today, it’s back to the grind. He was none to pleased to go to school this morning. He wanted to play with his toys, so of course, that was a struggle this morning. His sleeping has been a lot better, but he did get up twice last night. I think we just need our schedule back. It’s been really off-track with the holidays. After New Year’s, we can get back into the swing of things.  It feels so odd that Christmas is over. All of these months of preparation, and just like that, it’s gone. At least I have his birthday to focus on, but because I am bypassing a party, there won’t be much planning involved in that. I still plan on taking him to that indoor pool to swim, and to stay the night at the end of next month.

 

Em won the school’s holiday art contest! We made an adorable Santa canvas. He was featured in the academy’s holiday card, and he won a $25 toys r us gift card. I haven’t let him use the card yet. He just got a ton of toys, so he doesn’t even need anything right now. We’ll hang onto it for a bit and use it in a few months.  I was very proud and excited though!

 

Remember the guy that I was talking about before who I felt was coming on too strong? I saw him last Thursday for a few hours. He went shopping with me for some last minute Christmas items, then we got coffee afterwards. It wasn’t weird at all, but he started to drive me BONKERS right after by continuing to ask me when we’d hang out again. I mean, jeez. Chill out. There is no reason to ask, or constantly bring it up the same day that we hung out. I did say something about it too because he ended up texting me after that saying “I have plans on December 30th just in case you were making plans for us that day” What?!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel bad when I call him out for saying weird, overbearing things, but I have to. I cannot just let that float because if I do, then it’ll just continue and get worse. So, we will see. He is off this week, but I work all week. He wants to go to lunch one day. I did say yes, so hopefully he doesn’t make it into a big thing and freak me out beforehand. He is extremely nice, but he ruins it anytime he becomes too eager. He doesn’t strike me as the type of dude who ever plays it cool though, so he definitely is missing that piece like a regular guy who acts like he gives no effs about ever seeing you again. I guess I’m not used to that. That’s about all  I have on that front though. The second I start to like him more, he has to freak me out, then I’m back to square one.

 

Alright, that’s about all I have for you guys. We had such a nice holiday. I hope you all did too.

Christmas photos

Our christmas

Christmas was amazing. Seriously, amazing. When Emerson walked down the stairs and saw all of his presents, he was in awe! I pre-built the train table and the racetrack, so he immediately saw both of those. The car ramp I bought was wrapped, so after he unwrapped that, I tackled the task of building it. This thing is major. It is a huge car ramp that transforms into another ramp. I’ll put pictures below of everything, so that you guys can see. It was NOT an easy build and pretty much consumed my Christmas morning. I had fears that Em would play with his toys for two minutes, then get bored with them, but that wasn’t the case at all. It was a job in itself just to pull him out the door to head to my sister’s house for breakfast. I felt bad that he had to leave his toys after only having about an hour to play with them. Luckily, I knew my sister got him the Little People Bus, so I knew once he opened that, he’d be excited. he is obsessed with buses, so that was a sure win! She also got him a puzzle, and a stocking filled with everything you can imagine. Toys, wipes, a new cup, candy, body wash, a new tooth brush, tooth paste, etc. After exchanging gifts, we waited for my parents to get there to dig into breakfast. She made eggs, and a cinnamon roll French toast casserole. It was delicious! We hung around for a while, then went to my parent’s house.



My parent’s house was so overwhelming. There were so man presents all over the place. Emerson seemed very overwhelmed and even started to cry when he was opening gifts. I’m not surprised. The day was moving very quickly and anytime he opened something, he couldn’t really play with it before moving onto the next thing. Eventually, I ended up opening his stuff for him. They got him a lot of clothes, socks, underwear, and a new coat. I appreciated all of those things so much. Additionally, they bought him his own recliner, a tool bench, and a train table for their house! He also got some puzzles and balls. Plus, his stocking was filled up with little trinkets and candy.



My parents bought me so much stuff. I was so overwhelmed opening up gifts. They got me my fireplace/mantle. It is absolutely gorgeous! I put it together yesterday. You guys will die when you see it! Additionally, I got some gift cards, tickets to a Pen’s game with my sister in March (Mom’s night out!), a best friend necklace that goes with one my sister got, new socks, jammies, some clothes, kitchenware, and everything else under the sun. I can’t even process all of the things they got us. I still haven’t found a spot for it all in my house, but am working on putting it all away. Our house is overflowing between Em’s stuff and mine. I was exhausted after building that fireplace yesterday and cleaning. Heck, I still feel tired today!



Anyway, after all of the excitement wore off, Em and I headed home around noon to take a nap before we headed back over for dinner. Emerson napped until 3pm. We got dressed, then headed back for dinner. My older sister was there with some gifts for Em. She got him some puzzles, and a piano that he can actually walk on. It’s pretty cool and he seems to like it. We hung at my parent’s until about 6pm, then headed back home, so that Em could finally enjoy his new toys. It was a busy day with a lot of back and forth.



Yesterday, we lounged around all day. Em played with his toys, I cleaned, and we watched a lot of dvds. It was nice, but today, it’s back to the grind. He was none to pleased to go to school this morning. He wanted to play with his toys, so of course, that was a struggle this morning. His sleeping has been a lot better, but he did get up twice last night. I think we just need our schedule back. It’s been really off-track with the holidays. After New Year’s, we can get back into the swing of things.  It feels so odd that Christmas is over. All of these months of preparation, and just like that, it’s gone. At least I have his birthday to focus on, but because I am bypassing a party, there won’t be much planning involved in that. I still plan on taking him to that indoor pool to swim, and to stay the night at the end of next month.



Em won the school’s holiday art contest! We made an adorable Santa canvas. He was featured in the academy’s holiday card, and he won a $25 toys r us gift card. I haven’t let him use the card yet. He just got a ton of toys, so he doesn’t even need anything right now. We’ll hang onto it for a bit and use it in a few months.  I was very proud and excited though!



Remember the guy that I was talking about before who I felt was coming on too strong? I saw him last Thursday for a few hours. He went shopping with me for some last minute Christmas items, then we got coffee afterwards. It wasn’t weird at all, but he started to drive me BONKERS right after by continuing to ask me when we’d hang out again. I mean, jeez. Chill out. There is no reason to ask, or constantly bring it up the same day that we hung out. I did say something about it too because he ended up texting me after that saying “I have plans on December 30th just in case you were making plans for us that day” What?!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel bad when I call him out for saying weird, overbearing things, but I have to. I cannot just let that float because if I do, then it’ll just continue and get worse. So, we will see. He is off this week, but I work all week. He wants to go to lunch one day. I did say yes, so hopefully he doesn’t make it into a big thing and freak me out beforehand. He is extremely nice, but he ruins it anytime he becomes too eager. He doesn’t strike me as the type of dude who ever plays it cool though, so he definitely is missing that piece like a regular guy who acts like he gives no effs about ever seeing you again. I guess I’m not used to that. That’s about all  I have on that front though. The second I start to like him more, he has to freak me out, then I’m back to square one.



Alright, that’s about all I have for you guys. We had such a nice holiday. I hope you all did too.

Hi there old friend lol

It’s been a week since I’ve updated. Not much has been going on. We’re just getting ready for Christmas. I built Em’s train table. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too difficult at all. I’m working my way through wrapping all of the gifts, but that’s about it. We haven’t been doing much outside of that. We do have a gingerbread train to build this week. I think we’ll do that on Christmas Eve. We’re heading to my sister’s for the evening, so maybe we can take that over there.  I wish that I could do more for Christmas, but I got slapped with my water and sewage bill, which was $215. I knew it was coming, so I planned accordingly, but any extra money that I would have had, went to that. It sucks. It would have been nice to do another Christmas activity, or to get Emerson an extra present, but I’m glad that I was able to get what I did. I know he will be overjoyed, but I feel like the small touches are definitely lacking this year. I found him jammies for Christmas Eve though, so I can at least hand him those.

 

I have a half day on Thursday, but Emerson is going to daycare. I honestly have no need for it, but it’ll be nice to get a bit of a break for myself. We’ve had every Monday off this month and have the next two Mondays off as well as a couple of random days throughout. I am just burnt out from extra mom duties on top of work. Speaking of Thursday, I am seeing the guy that I was talking about last week. I hope it isn’t weird. I had to tell him last week that he was coming on way too strong and needed to cool his jets big time. He started to say some really outlandish things to me that I wasn’t entirely comfortable with. Every time we spoke, he’d become so deep and intense. I don’t think you should be professing your love to me after barely knowing me. I also don’t think that your life is now complete that you’ve met me. It was too much. He also would text me ALL day and if I didn’t answer him, he’d just keep texting. I’d come back to my phone to 7,8,9 texts! That is NOT normal. I don’t need you to document your entire day for me. I just didn’t like the expectation that I’d carry on like that all day. I mean, I have a job and so does he. Isn’t he working?? On top of that, when I’m at home with Em, I can’t be engrossed in my cell phone all night texting. Being honest too, I hate small talk. I hate aimless conversations. I don’t even enjoy texting all like that. I’m more of a person who likes to catch up all at once at the end of the day. I don’t need to talk to someone all day long. It was just too much on top of the crazy things he was saying to me.

 

Anyway, it has been AWESOME for the last week. He has really backed off. Yesterday, he texted me in the morning to wish me good luck for my second interview (I’ll get to that in a minute), then we didn’t talk until the end of the day, which was nice. I have the space I need now and he also isn’t saying outlandish things anymore. He’s keeping himself in check and not freaking me out talking about “He can’t wait to make memories with me for the rest of my life”. UM?! CREEPER STATUS! Anyway, I had my second interview yesterday and it went VERY well. Hopefully, I hear something back soon. As nervous as I am to take a position in sales, I know it’ll be a great financial boost that Emerson will greatly benefit from. I am a nervous nelly though! I just want to make the right decisions for our little family. More money isn’t everything if it means less time to spend together. I’m trying to find the right balance though. Sometimes, I know I’ll have to compromise one for the other, but that’s where it becomes muddy waters with being a single mommy. Cross your fingers and say some prayers that this is the change we need. My manager is going crazy over me potentially leaving though and is eager for me to train someone to perform my responsibilities. It’s understandable, but they have me out the door and I haven’t even been offered the job yet.

 

This morning, I sent cards and donuts to daycare for the teachers. I wish that I could have done more, but funds just weren’t there this year. The cards I made were very nice though, so I hope that makes up for it. I know the teachers appreciate any and everything we do, but I wish that I could have done more. At this point, I’m really worried about Emerson’s 3rd birthday. This water bill always throws me completely off because I have to shift so much just to afford it. I think we’re for-going a party though and just going to this place that has an indoor swimming pool. I just worry the roads will such and we won’t be able to make it and his birthday will be ruined. I hope that isn’t the case.  I’ll see what I can do.  I made reservations already for January 28th for two rooms. There was a crazy discount through Travelocity. Each room is $56. I want to go with my sister and nephew. The indoor pool has a giant pirate ship with slides, etc. We’d sing happy birthday at my parent’s house on Sunday, which is his actual birthday.  It sounds so awesome. I just hope the weather cooperates. We will see though. It would take the stress of planning a party off the table. I know Em would love it.

 

Alright, that’s about all I have today. Have a super Christmas, all!

It's been awhile

Wow, it has been 2.5 weeks since I’ve updated. I am so sorry, guys. This time of year is so incredibly busy at work. I can’t even breathe.  I barely have time to pee when I’m here. On top of work, we’ve been pretty busy at home too preparing for the holidays. We’re still up to our usual holiday excursions. We just took the kids to this amazing Christmas light display. They loved it. They had so much set up outside. A bon fire, playground for the kids, live nativity set, snacks, Santa, train, and sleigh rides. We had a really great time doing that. We haven’t done anything since though. Funds are extremely tight, so I’m trying to pinch pennies just to be able to finish up Christmas. I just have to get my sister’s gift and some stocking stuffers for Emerson. I don’t think we’ll be doing much this weekend, or leading up to Christmas. I did have last Wednesday off though and I took Emerson to ride a Christmas train and to Giggles and Smiles, so at least that was something. We’ll just be hanging at home watching movies. Nothing wrong with that. He’s about to get a ton of toys to play with, so that’ll be awesome.

 

I had a job interview last week. I’m not sure what will transpire from there. It’s for a position within my current company. The pay is much higher than what I am making now, so it would be a great benefit to the family, but the workload is greater and the stress is a lot higher. That’s the only part that scares me. Oh, and travel. I don’t think it would be excessive travel, but I believe at times it could be more towards the higher side. I don’t want to hold myself back over that though. This would be great for myself and Emerson, so I can’t scare myself out of it. My sister already told me that she’d help me  when I have to travel. Speaking of Emerson, he is driving me nuts. He is going through a bit of a sleep regression. The last couple of nights, he’s been getting out of bed, waking in the middle of the night, and waking up early. Needless to say, I am absolutely exhausted. I hope this phase is quick. I’ve  been spoiled for two years with a great sleeping child. I am not caving though. When I say it’s bedtime, that’s it. I put the door knob cover back on his door last night. He couldn’t get out. I put him back into bed at 1am and that was it. I  just know it’ll be a nightly fight until this passes, so I’m already dreading tonight. All I can do is be tough. He is not going to break me!

 

In other news, I have been “dating” someone. I don’t even know if I like calling it that.  I don’t think it’s necessarily dating, but it’s not just being friends either. It’s that weird, gray area mixed in between the two. He is a really awesome person. Nothing like anyone I have ever met before….and that scares the heck out of me!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, to the point where I just want to tell him to never talk to me again. That is so awful. I am not used to someone being completely straight forward with me, and so extremely sweet. I just do not do well with that at all. I guess I am just programmed to people being jerks that I am not used to this. I wish that he would just tone it down a bit. It scares me so much! What’s sad is that girls always want a person like this, then when we have it, we want them to pull it back a bit. I am such a screwed up human being. I try to just roll with it in hopes that I’ll become more comfortable, but so far, that’s not happening. My heart is very icy and hasn’t entirely warmed up yet. This morning, he asked me if I needed him to come over to dig my car out of the snow, so that I could take Em up to daycare, then offered to ride me to work. I just am not used to this at all. I’m very independent and I do everything myself. I declined. He asked last night if I needed him to come shovel our steps/walk. Of course, I declined  I don’t really need anyone to do that stuff for me. I should appreciate that he even asked, or even wanted to help me. Again, I have an extremely difficult time with anything like this. I have been on my own for so long that I don’t know that I’ll ever get used to this enough to move forward. The sad thing is I constantly think that he’s being weird just for being nice to me. No! It’s me who is weird!

 

He said something yesterday about me just getting myself and Emerson home safely, then if we needed anything, he would bring it to us. Of course, I declined. He hasn’t met Emerson yet. I’m witholding that for some time. He doesn’t have any children, but he is very accepting that I have a kiddo. I don’t think that’ll ever be an issue and I think he’d accept Em as his own, which freaks me out! Again, I am trying to work through this. Obviously, that is what I’ve wanted. Someone who is amazing and would be just as amazing to myself and my kid. Now that I could potentially have that, I am absolutely freaked out. This guy is everything that I’ve been looking for. He runs marathons, is very into health/working out, and he doesn’t drink! I love all of that including the fact that he is completely independent, owns a home, has a great career, and is wonderful with his pets. He seems to come from a nice family too. He’s really funny too without trying too hard. The thoughtfulness is so offputting to me though. I think I just need to remember that he isn’t just nice to me. It isn’t an act. It is just how he is. He is just a nice person. I feel bad too because I can’t reciprocate the things that he says and does because it scares me. I don’t know why I am being such a baby. I should just go all in and see what happens. I am my own roadblock though. He has been extremely understanding and patient with me though, so I hope that continues. I just get so locked up over fear. I was never this way before. Being single for over three years has certainly done a number on me! Anyway, I will follow-up as things develop. I’m not sure what will occur from this point. I think being super scared must be a good thing though! It’s nice to have found someone who is actually a great person and not an idiot!

 

Okay, I will update later. Have a super day, all