Hey there :)

Hey guys! I know I haven’t updated since I spoke of our car accident last week. We’re fine. Our car is fine. The weather has been good too, so no worries driving. Of course, it’s supposed to start snowing again. Go figure, but we can walk if that’s the case. I am never risking it again. I don’t care. Better safe than sorry!

Anyway, today I should be getting Emerson’s bedroom stuff today. I can’t wait to put it all together. I didn’t go overboard, or anything. I just got a few things, but definitely new bedding. His poor feet stick out of the blanket that he has now. I did buy a bed rail though. He fell out of his new bed a couple of times already. Whoops. So far, the bed rail has been working like a charm. Let’s hope it stays that way. I still hate the way nap time goes now. It sucks that he wants me to stay in his room while he falls asleep. I end up caving because nap time is my sane time. This boy wears me out! The behavioral specialist observed him last week. She is supposed to come back this week I think. She said he is such a happy, but energetic kid. He needed a lot of special help from his teachers throughout the day too. I’m sure this means a lot of correcting to not climb, etc. She said she needs to observe several times before making any kind of determination. I really hope it comes up as nothing major. It worries me even though I know I shouldn’t be alarmed right now. No one wants to hear that something could be wrong with their kid. I have enough issues. LOL

I don’t really have much else to report. I’ve been such a slacker with eating and working out. It’s BAD. I am back on track though. Well, sorta. I did get some healthy groceries and today is the first day that I haven’t had ramen noodles for lunch. I’ll consider that a win. It’s officially time to crack down though. Before, I was slacking because I knew I could. Warmer weather is right around the corner though. It’s time to lean out unless I plan on wearing bulky sweaters all summer. No thank you. I am starting a new program. It’s a 60 day thing, so that’ll get me all ready for summer time. I should finish up right around my 33rd birthday. That’ll set me for summer time even if I backslide a little. Then, I can go back to being chunky and soft for fall/winter again. LOL What a life to lead, eh?!

This weekend, we have nothing planned. I better figure something out. He gets a bit stir crazy when he’s in the house too much. My family was so sick last weekend. We weren’t able to spend ANY time with them! It sucked. Usually going over there is our go-to. I woke up with a super sore throat this morning though. Let’s hope it isn’t circulating to me. I did have the window open last night, so maybe that’s why. Em has a cough and a cold too. Bleh.

Alright, guys. I am going to go now. I want to get some things done before I leave today. Have a super Tuesday. Smoochies!

Our big wreck

Where to even begin. I guess I’ll start with the most recent. Emerson and I were in a car accident on Monday. We had the day off because daycare was closed for President’s Day. We did nothing all day. The roads seemed fine from what I could see out our window. We decided to venture out around 5pm to my sister’s house. The roads were not an issue on our commute over. Afterwards, we went to my parent’s house. Again, I saw no threat of bad roads, or even in climate weather. My dad kept mentioning that the roads were supposed to get icy. Again, I didn’t notice much. It was raining, however the roads were not icy. We ended up leaving their house around 7pm. To get down to the main road to take us back to our house, we had to go down several hills. We had no issues at all. We weren’t slipping, or anything. A couple blocks from their house, we had to go down a really BIG hill. I noticed all the cars in front of us were going so slow. We were going pretty slow too. Maybe 10 mph and I was riding the brake. All of a sudden, every car in front of us started to slide so fast down the hill. I can’t even tell you how panicked I felt. We started to slide. Holy shit. I can’t even tell you guys how quick my stomach dropped. There was nowhere to go either, but into the car in front of us. I saw us sliding right towards them. There was NOTHING I could do. We smashed into the back of the car so hard. Then, we spun all the way around and ended up facing UP the hill. We started sliding backward, so I cut the wheel to wreck us into a hillside. It’s all I could think to do to get us to stop. It worked. Thank God!!!!!!!!!! I was freaking out. I called my dad immediately, but then realized my car was in line to get hit by anyone else coming down the road. All of these cars were flying down the hill. No one knew it was so icy. Cars were sliding left and right. Everyone started beeping their horns to try to alert anyone coming down the hill. A couple guys ran to the top with flashlights to warn drivers coming down. It was scary as hell! I hurried and grabbed Emerson out of his seat, so that we could get the hell away from the car just in case someone hit us. We went down HARD on the pavement and we both hit our heads. My cell phone flew across the road. I could hear my dad screaming through it asking if we were okay. He ended up walking all the way down to the accident with no coat on. It was so slippery. I was afraid he was going to fall. Everyone helped Em and I across the road. We sat in the cop car until the ambulance came. They took us to the hospital to get checked out. My dad stayed back and handled everything with my car. At the hospital, they put a neck brace on Em as a precautionary measure, but it freaked me out. We both checked out fine though. Emerson was completely fine. I am so sore though and bruised. I hit the steering wheel pretty hard during both impacts. I also banged my arm up pretty badly when we fell. I’m sore, but it could be so much worse. I’m glad Emerson is okay. I was so scared. It’s not like I could get in the backseat, or even warn him. He wouldn’t have even understood what I was talking about anyway. My dad was able to get my car out of the ditch/hillside. He said there was minimal damage, which was absolutely surprising to me. He was able to make it down to the hospital after the tow trucks came and salted the roads. He ended up taking us home, then driving my car back to his house. I have an estimate set up for Friday through my insurance company. I just want to see what they say. There is a crack in my front bumper. The grill also looks like it’s broken up a little bit. I hope there isn’t more damage underneath, or to the frame. My deductible is $1,000. Ugh. I really hope it doesn’t cost me anywhere near that. I’ll obviously shop around first. My dad has a friend that restores cars. I also have rental insurance too, so we won’t be without a car during the time that my car is getting fixed. I haven’t been driving though. We’ve been walking to and from daycare, then I’ve been catching the bus from the bus stop across the street of the daycare. It has been pretty icy these past few mornings. I’m just not ready yet. It’s warming up this weekend, so I hope I can put my fear aside. It sucks not driving, but I am so damn scared now.

Outside of that, Emerson learned how to escape the crib over the weekend, which resulted us in getting him a big boy bed. Nap time sucked over the weekend. He just stood at his bedroom door crying. I put a door knob cover over his knob, so he can’t escape. In order to get him to nap, I had to lay down with him. It’s not a habit I want to create. He’s been pretty good at bedtime though (knock on wood). The bed was such a B to put together too. I had one hell of a time. I’m glad it’s done and over with now, but jeez. I definitely want to decorate his room a little bit. Nothing crazy, but getting new bedding, and just getting rid of the crib, and other nursery items would be nice. It’s crazy that he’s in a regular bed now. It happens so quickly. You barely get a transition. I hate change, so you can imagine how difficult it is for me anytime we go through something new.

My income tax refund is supposed to be sent tomorrow. Just in time to pay for car repairs. Yay. Not exactly what I wanted to spend this money on. I need to get my car inspected, and to renew my registration too. Can we please be a little whimsical with this money? That’s all I ask. It’s business all the time. All year round. Just when I think we can have a little bit of fund, and be spontaneous, something happens.

My sister had a house warming party last week. It was really nice. The house looks great. I’m super happy for her. She also bought a car. I set up her car insurance yesterday. She is ready to roll and picks the car up today! She’s using her income tax for good J

Alright, guys. Please have a super, super Wednesday! Be safe while driving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell?

So, parent teacher conferences was very interesting on Friday night. I left feeling very discouraged, but upset. It was very formal, which I hadn’t anticipated. Emerson is only 2 years old. On top of that, he’s in daycare, not school. I do realize they are a 4 star daycare, which provides a lot of opportunities a regular daycare wouldn’t have, but I did feel it was a bit over the top. Obviously, if there wasn’t something seriously wrong, or concerning, I’d want it to be reported to me, but I do feel as though their assessment was utterly ridiculous.

Our appointment was at 630pm. I picked Emerson up at 515pm, which meant we had to go home for about 40 minutes before having to leave the house to go BACK to daycare. This was annoying for me. I’m exhausted as it is from work. Running around in circles on a Friday night was the last thing I wanted to do. We went home, I cooked a quick dinner, we ate, then ran out the door. We were met with a panel of his teachers, and the assistant director. Because they recently shifted the teachers, he has had more than one.  We went over a paper that they filled out. It was chart stating the things he was good at, but also the things that needed improving. For example, they said his fine motor skills are incredible, but he needs to work on using utensils when eating. He does use utensils, but then he stops somewhere along the way, then dives in with his hands. After we got through that, we went over the ASQ paperwork, which was more in depth. I had to fill out a questionnaire prior to the meeting. It was very lengthy, but most of my answers were that Emerson is a normal 2 year old with normal social, emotional, and physical skills. I guess at the end of the survey there was a number that tallied up per points you received with whatever answer you provided. My number tallied up to 15. Theirs tallied up to 55. They were extremely alarmed in the discrepancy between his behavior at home versus his behavior there. Because of that, they suggested that he meet with a behavioral specialist. Of course, my head was reeling. I mean, I am sitting in a HOT room after working a very long, stressful day being told that my son has a behavioral issue. No one wants to hear that. Granted, they are not child psychologists, or doctors, but they do work with children all day, so I would at least hope they had a semi- idea of what assessment they were making.

Their assessment is that he is extremely busy. Very rarely does he slow down. He is constantly on the move from one activity, to the next, often times running in between, which they deem unsafe. I can agree. Running isn’t safe in a small space with other children around, however do I believe that he is the only 2 year old to break a stride when he sees a neat toy that he wants to play with? Absolutely not. They kept commenting on his climbing abilities. They said his fine and gross motor skills are that of a five year old, which is wonderful, but he doesn’t know how to control his impulses with his newfound skills. Well, duh! So, you love that he is advanced and persistent, but are upset that he hasn’t figured out when to use, and not use these skills? To me, that is absolutely ridiculous. They commented on his aggressive noting that he pushes children, and even the teachers at times. Well, I am not going to disagree with them, but I will say this. Emerson comes home with at least 5 bite marks a week. It has recently started to decrease now that he’s moved to an older room leaving the biter behind, but he is still being bit when they shift down and Emerson is exposed to that child. (Yes, I’ve expressed my concern over this). Every day, I am given reports that Emerson was hit, pushed, bit, etc. They shifted teachers in his room because they felt the teacher had no control. These children all thrive off of each other’s behavior. I believe all of the kids in that room show signs of aggression because they see each other doing it. I don’t believe its particular to Emerson, especially with the reports that I am getting daily. They need to crack down there and learn to occupy these kids. Be a bit more firm, so maybe they aren’t so aggressive. Emerson isn’t that aggressive at home. When he is tired, he acts out. That’s when he shows signs of aggression. I don’t think that changes with environment. I think he does the same thing there. I also believe there’s a big communication barrier too. He is talking a lot and saying more words, but he still can’t get his point across. He becomes frustrated then too. From there, his aggression shows. I think if they let him grow a bit more, let his speech come through, and improve, they’ll see his behavior adapt for the better. I think it’s a bit too early in the game to start labeling someone has having a behavioral problem.

I did agree to have therapist shadow him. I’m curious as to what she has to say. The director said that she’d make suggestions for the teachers and how to improve the center to better accommodate Emerson too. Obviously, I wouldn’t take anything to heart without speaking to my pediatrician first. The ped never mentioned anything when we were there last week. She probably already knows that it’s a premature diagnosis at this point. It was just really hard to sit there listening to them make comments about Emerson. Yes, I realize that he will do things wrong, but to have such a discouraging assessment over typical 2 year old behavior really bothered me. Trust me, if he was doing something that out of control, I would have already blogged about it. If I was concerned, you would all already know.

Is he busy? Yes. The bad thing was after they told me that, all weekend I had a thought that he just had a behavioral issue and that’s why he was being rowdy, or misbehaving. Really, he was just doing what he always does. Typical Emerson. He mimics everything I do. Is that really misbehaving? Not at all. It might not be what I want him to be doing, but he’s not doing it to me mischievous. Well, at least not ALL of the time.

Another thing that has recently changed is his sleep schedule. Not long ago, I started letting him stay up later. Around the same time, I started waking him up 25 minutes early in the morning. That resulted in him losing around 1.5 hours of sleep, which is a lot. I didn’t realize it having a negative effect on him at first. I did it during the week, so I  wouldn’t have realized it because he’s at daycare all day. Remember, he becomes really hyper when he’s tired. I see this during the weekend when he needs a nap, or it’s close to bedtime. Anyway, after the meeting I had with his teachers on Friday, I was googling a lot of things. One of the things I kept running up against was lack of sleeping aiding in hyperactivity. It struck me at that moment that I had adjusted his sleep schedule to where he was getting less. I keep reading these kids need 10-12 hours of sleep. He was getting around 9 hours. I decided to test this out over the weekend. I started to put him back to bed at his regular time. Bath around 650pm, then bed right after. Sometimes he takes a longer bath, but on average, he’s in bed by 715pm. On Sunday, he slept 715-730am. Over 12 hours. That told me right there that he needs more than the 9 he was getting. Was he still hyper yesterday? Of course. LOL I didn’t think sleep would cure it all, but I’m hoping after a few more days of being well rested, he can start to recede back into a semi-normal behavioral pattern. I also found that when he has an activity to do, he’s more at ease. Letting him just run amuck doesn’t sit well with him. I set up some good activities over the weekend. Yes, there were periods where he was left to his own devices (toys/Disney channel), but we played outside, did a water activity, a noodle activity, and a stacking activity. This was all surrounding errands, and having dinner with my sister at her new house (which is gorgeous by the way).

All I can do is try my best. Try to organize activities to keep him busy and occupied, but to also try to show him that being calm is okay too. He can have his fun, while running wild, but there is a period where he needs to calm down. That’s where I step in with an activity of some sort. I still get frustrated with him sometimes. What mom doesn’t! It isn’t always easy, especially with being absolutely zonked out from work. I’m trying my absolutely best here. It sucks to have to start putting him down earlier, but if it aids in his overall mental health and helps him to perform better, then that is just something that I’ll have to compromise on. It was strange as hell being left to my own devices at 715pm last night. I’m used to not sitting down until sometime after 830pm. Having some extra time back to myself will be nice.

This sounds awful, but I don’t want my kid to have a behavioral issue. Sometimes, I wonder if these daycares need to have issues logged. They need to utilize their tools and resources each month to keep them. They are deemed four star for a reason.  I just wish it wasn’t us. That sounds crappy, but I already have enough on my plate. It would be different if I was a part of a team. I could brainstorm and work with a counterpart to come up with ideas to work with his needs. I am beating my head against the wall with this one. I will do whatever I can to help him develop, but it is extremely hard to find the headspace for all of this.

I need a break. It’s work that is bogging me down. Taking the day off isn’t even a solution because I’ll just suffer even more when I come back. I keep telling myself to hang in there. It’ll get better over the next month (I think). It’s always so crazy at the beginning of the year. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to make it there. Another thing stressing me out is money. I am so damn worried that my income tax refund is going to be held up again this year. My sister filed on the 22nd. She finally was provided a refund date today. It took nearly three weeks, which is what they initially said, but I was shocked it took that long. My 21 days isn’t even up until February 24th. I wouldn’t even expect to have a refund date until a few days before. I know I can’t sit here stressing over it, but that’s what I do best. I stress.  I just know if the income tax thing would go right, I’d feel a hell of a lot better. Can everyone say a little prayer, please? I will gladly return the favor for all of you.

Ashley

So big

Emerson’s 2 year check-up was yesterday. Man, he absolutely snapped out when they weighed him, then took his height. It was unreal. He had blood taken from his finger for lead testing. Talk about drama king! I knew that part would be bad if he was already freaking from the easy stuff. Once he settled down, it was fine. He’s only gained 2lbs within the last 6 months. I was surprised. He feels heavier, and looks so big! His height has skyrocketed though. He’s a growing boy. 91st percentile in weight, but 85th in height. The doctor was happy with his growth/development. No complaints at all. That’s what I like to hear. She said his teeth are absolutely beautiful and commended me on doing a great job brushing them. It isn’t easy, but he’ll thank me when he’s older.

He’s been staying up later too. He used to go to bed around 715-730. Now, he’s up to 745-8pm. On the weekends, I let him stay up a little later because he gets to sleep in. I know that seems so early to most of you, but remember, he gets up at 530am Monday-Friday. Also, letting him stay up later takes away from my evening ME time. It’s a compromise though. I’ve been going to bed early anyway, so I barely stay up to enjoy my couch time as it is.

This weekend, we don’t have much planned. Parent/teacher conferences tomorrow night, then going to see my nephew’s basketball game on Saturday. Outside of that, we’ll grocery shop, then visit my parents. I’m counting my pennies, man. I hate this time of year. I’m always so poor. What kills me is all of the extra expenses. My car registration and car inspection are coming up. Can I please get my damn tax refund NOW?! I keep forgetting that I have a $25 gift card to use, so that’ll help out a bit. We can run up to Wal-mart on Saturday to get some things. I like grocery shopping at Aldis, so we’ll do that for everything else on Sunday.

We have been so spoiled this entire winter. I just looked at the weather. IT looks like the cold and snow are blowing on in over the next couple of days. It doesn’t look like anything too crazy. It’s insane that it has been in the 40s-50s for the past week! I just hope we continue with this mild winter. It’s nice not having to worry about driving!

Alright, guys. I am going to hop off of here. So busy and exhausted. Happy Thursday!

It's been awhile

I haven’t written in forever. I’ve honestly been WAY too busy. I don’t even know where I left off, or where to begin. Work has been so exhausting. It always is during this time of the year. So much chaos ensues after open enrollment and the first of the year. It has been go, go, go since January 4th. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That, or I’m just used to the way it is now. I feel so beat up though. I am mentally drained by the time I get home every night. We all know it doesn’t stop there. Mommy duties kick in, so by the time I finally get to sit down around 8:30pm, I’m a zombie. Enough about that though.

Emerson had his 2nd birthday this past weekend. It was awesome. I can’t believe he is 2! I know every parent says that and I’ve said it more times than I can count, but it still baffles me that I had a kid. Little Miss “I never want kids”. The thought makes me laugh now. His birthday was wonderful. I started to decorate a week before just so I wasn’t scrambling last minute. I sent Mickey Mouse themed oreo cookie pops to daycare for the kids on Friday (that was the actually date of his birthday). I also blew up a ton of balloons to surprise him when he woke up on Friday morning. It was really cute. On Friday night, we went to dinner with my sister and nephew, then headed over to my parent’s house to sing “Happy Birthday”. On Saturday, we ran a few errands, then hung around at home before his birthday party. It was nice. Small. Perfect. We all had a great time. He got some new clothes, and a tricycle! The weather has been unseasonably warm, so we were able to take him outside to try it out. He hasn’t grasped the concept of pedaling yet, but we’ve got plenty of time to learn that. His 2 year check-up is tomorrow. He hasn’t been to the doctors since he was about 18 months, so I’m anxious to see how he’s grown. He is a big boy, so I can just imagine what his height and weight will be. Developmentally, I feel he’s right on track. Maybe a little ahead of the curve, but nothing crazy. We have parent-teacher conferences on Friday night at daycare, so I’m sure they’ll weigh in on their thoughts about his progression. I had to fill out so much paperwork for it too. I hate self-assessing my own kid, but you won’t know if there is a problem until you start identifying these things. Overall, it feels like a busy week just because of those two things. I went grocery shopping last night, so I got that out of the way. We’re heading to my nephew’s basketball game on Saturday. I do not want to spend any money, so we’re just doing things that are free, or really cheap.

I’m trying to think of anything else that has gone down that might be of interest to you guys. I don’t lead that exciting of a life as you can tell! Working out has been going okay. I’ve been slacking a lot over the last week, but at least my eating is on point. I just can’t ever make up my mind with what direction I want to go in. Building muscle, losing weight, leaning out, bulking. I change my mind almost daily. Right now. I just want to eat clean Monday-Friday, exercise, relax, and really worry about slimming down when it’s closer to swimsuit time. This is the time to enjoy when it doesn’t matter so much. I need to start reminding myself of that. It’s a hard balance for me lately. I’m starting to question if I’ll ever be happy with myself like I was last summer. Things started to unravel once I stopped going to the gym during my lunch break at work. I do work out at home, but not having access to different weights has definitely affected me.

I filed my taxes today. Remember the hell I was in last year? I really hope that does NOT happen to me this year. I have every dollar allocated and I haven’t even gotten the money yet. I hate that money makes the world go round, but what can you do? It’ll be nice to be able to make my car payment with those funds for the remainder of 2016. That’ll ease up a lot on my wallet. Right now, I’m barely squeaking by.

My sister is just about ready to move into her house. It is gorgeous! I’m so happy for her. The bathroom is being remodeled right now, so that’s what’s pushing back her move-in date. It definitely  makes me want to make some upgrades to my house. I can’t believe how pretty it looks. Once its altogether, I’ll post some pictures, so you guys can see. They did a phenomenal job on the place though. The before and after pictures are insane! I’m still so happy and proud of her for leaving her abusive fiancé and starting over so quickly. It isn’t an easy thing to do and most would never have the balls to actually do it. She is a strong lady. I’m proud of her.

Alright, I am going to wrap this up. I hope you all have a fabulous week J