Mummy found a puppy!

I found a puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!! This morning after I took Emerson to daycare, I headed over to the Laundromat. On the way, I found a puppy roaming the street. I opened my car door and he jumped right into my lap! It was a miniature pincher and absolutely adorable and so sweet. So, I parked the car and walked around the neighborhood in search of its owner. The dog didn’t have tags on, but he looked well taken care of, so I knew he must have a home. I asked a man that was walking his dog if he knew who the cute pup belonged to. Just as he pointed me in the right direction, I heard “BAM! BAM!” The dog started to whimper. I knew it must be his mom calling his name! I took Bam over to his house. His mom was so happy to see him! The dog was so adorable though. I had a fleeting though of being able to keep him if I didn’t find his owner. Boy, Kodie would have hated that!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, after work yesterday, I rushed home, cleaned the house, put away all of the milk I pumped, and filled up Emerson’s pool. It was so hot outside. When I picked him up from daycare, you could tell he was exhausted. He hasn’t really been napping there, so the second we get home, he wants to go to bed. Obviously, this isn’t working out for me too well. I figured I’d let him swim for a bit, nap, then eat dinner/bath, play, bedtime. Things SORT OF went that way….

He swam for about 30 minutes before a storm rolled him. Afterwards, he played in his exersaucer for a bit, then went down for a 2 hour nap. I woke him up around 7:45pm. He was not happy. I wanted to make sure he got to eat dinner though. The night before, I let him sleep from 6-930 and he was up about 5-6 times to nurse during the night! I know it’s because he didn’t get to eat dinner. Anyway, I fed him dinner, then tried playing for a little, but he was not having it. I put him in the tub for a quick bath, jammie time, then nursed him to sleep. He slept from about 9pm-1130, woke up for a quick nursing session, then was back out until about 4am. I nursed him, then slept in until 5:45am. He slept until I woke him for daycare around 6:15am. Not too bad. A lot better than the night before. They wear him out so much at daycare that he wants to fall asleep the second we get home. I’m okay with a nap after daycare/work, but I don’t want him getting into the habit of sleeping until 10pm, then wanting to wake up. That isn’t going to work for me. So, we’ll see how it goes after daycare today.

The weather looks pretty grim for labor day, which makes me sad. I saw a high percentage of rain for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I’m hoping it changes. I don’t want to be rained out. I planned on swimming a lot, plus my nephew has a football game on Sunday that we plan on going to. I have a half day tomorrow at work, so Emerson isn’t going to daycare. Hopefully we get to swim afterwards. I’m done at 10:30am.

Okay, that’s about all I have for now. I hope everyone has a great Thursday!

MUMMY'S REMINISCING

Today is already going to be so busy. I double booked myself in meetings and also have a presentation. I really hope I don’t mess up. I’ve been practicing so much on the baby, but every time I do, he falls asleep! I guess I must be pretty boring, huh?! I’m not that nervous, or worried about it, but I do want to do a good job and convey my message in an understandable way. Pray for me!

After daycare yesterday, Emerson and I played for a bit. Around 6pm, I nursed him, then I ate dinner, while he played. He ended up falling asleep as I was practicing my presentation. He slept from about 6:45pm-9:30pm. At that point, I just put him to bed for the night. Because he had no real dinner, he woke to nurse often last night. I ended up waking up at 4am, taking a shower, doing hair and makeup, putting away the clean dishes, getting the diaper bag ready, and packing my work bag. I also took out the garbage. The baby woke up around 5:10am. I gave him a bath before daycare because he didn’t have one last night. After I got him dressed, I nursed him again, then we played before we had to hit the road. I had to go to the gas station before I got on the bus. I feel like I’ve had a full day already and it’s only 7:45am!

I decided to have a bonfire at my house in early October for the kids. I think it’ll be really cute. I’m not going to go all wild and drive myself nuts with preparation, but I think it’ll be really adorable to let them paint mini pumpkins, drink cider, make smores, and tell ghost stories by the fire. Why not, right? I have a fire table for a reason. I’ve only used it once this summer, so I’m due. It’ll be a nice memory to create with Emerson too. He loves having bonfires at my parent’s house, so having it at ours will be a nice alternative. I’m thinking I’ll do it from 6pm-9pm. It gets darker sooner during that time of year, so the sun should set a little after 7pm. The kids can decorate their pumpkins beforehand. I love fall, so this is exciting for me! I’ve already been scouring Pinterest for every and any idea under the sun! If the bonfire goes well, then I’ll probably have a small Christmas party for the kids too. Nothing crazy. Maybe they can come over to watch a Christmas movie and have some snacks. I live for this stuff.

Reflection time:

I was thinking this morning about my life and how drastically things have changed. I was reminiscing back to last year. I hadn’t even found out the sex of the baby yet. (thank you TimeHop for keeping a timeline for me). It’s so crazy to think where I was last year in relation to where I am right now. I really wish I hadn’t worried about so many unnecessary things while I was pregnant. I have always been a planner and a person that thinks in fast forward. I do it now, which I’m constantly reminding myself to stay in the present and enjoy the moment. It’s VERY hard for me to practice this, but I keep it tucked in the back of my mind all of the time. Anyway, back to last year. August 2013. I was about 18 weeks pregnant, days away from finding out the sex of the baby, and still dating Emerson’s father. Let’s recap this for old time’s sake:

It’s funny because he wasn’t even around for the ultrasound. He was in Vegas. I remember being so ticked about this. I don’t think I ever really saw the full importance of him going to Vegas even though it was for business reasons. He wasn’t directly involved in his family’s business at that time except from a marketing perspective. I didn’t think that warranted him to miss the gender reveal and ultrasound, but alas, he went regardless of my opinion. He was a jerk while he was there too. I would go to bed at 9pm every night. This meant it was 6pm Vegas time. It was so hard for him to dedicate a couple of minutes every day just to call me before I went to bed. I mean, who wouldn’t love this? While you’re out in Vegas having the time of your life, your pregnant girlfriend is back at home SLEEPING, not worrying about what you’re doing. Instead of being a normal human being, calling before dinner, and checking in on me, he’d constantly flake and then come up with some excuse. I could tell they were full of half-truths too, which really ticked me off even further. I wish I had let this big, red flag be a huge turning point for me, but it wasn’t. Not only was he absent for the ultra sound which determined our baby’s gender, he was a complete asshole to me too. I still felt bad that he missed the ultrasound, so I tried to make it as special as possible for him. I framed one of the sonogram pictures for him and I even bought a pair of baby pajamas that were embroidered with “daddy’s buddy” as a gift for him when he returned home from Vegas. He came home the night of the sonogram. It sucked too because while he was on a flight coming home, I had to wait to tell people “It’s a boy!”. I thought it would be rude to share with friends and family via facebook before he knew. Again, why was I so sensitive to this asshole? He wasn’t even there with me during one of the biggest moments that happen during pregnancy, yet I was sure to try to make it as special as possible for him! Do we all see where things were not right in this situation?

The morning of the ultrasound, I was so nervous. I put on a coral dress, straightened my newly cut/highlighted hair (I got bangs!), which I treated myself too that week. I wanted to fill my week up to mask the emptiness of Emerson’s father’s absence, so I had things scheduled to distract myself. Anyway, I remember gluing together a red/green sheet of paper and drawing a big question mark down the center. My sister took an adorable picture of myself holding this up to tease friends and family before the big reveal. Because I knew the baby shower and baby essentials would be costly, I skipped out on a gender reveal party to save money. Instead, I just posted teasing photos and cute catch phrases (beau or bow) leading up to the ultrasound, which I posted to my Facebook wall. Everyone was buzzing that day. I received so many text messages telling me to “tell me the second you find out!” It was super exciting, but it still felt like something was missing. I guess I couldn’t understand why this wasn’t important enough for Emerson’s dad to want to attend. He was just one of those selfish people who only thought of himself. Another red flag. Anyway, I was called back first. The techs wouldn’t allow my mom and sisters to head back until they were able to do their work and check the baby thoroughly. I was in so much pain from having to pee! It was AWFUL! Still, they pushed my belly looking to make sure the baby was healthy. I asked what the sex was. I wanted to have a moment where it was just me who knew the sex. The tech asked me several times if I was sure I wanted to know. “Of course!” I just wanted her to tell me. I was dying inside. She said “It’s a boy!” and I almost cried. I was so excited. I thought I wanted a girl so badly until I heard it was a boy. After a few more minutes, they let my family in. Everyone was pestering me asking if I knew the sex. I was tight lipped. Finally, the techs let the cat out of the bag. Everyone was so excited. I bit back tears. On the way out, I was swarmed my nurses telling me how beautiful I looked. That really lifted my spirits. I still couldn’t believe I was having a boy.

We all headed to breakfast and discussed names. I always had Emerson on the list, but we had all started to really like the name Weston. West for short. I had to discuss with Emerson’s father first, but I always thought it would be my decision anyway. Hours passed and I waited and waited for his flight to land. Finally, it landed and I was able to text him the news. TEXT….How very sad is that? Not even a phone call. He was just one of those people. He didn’t care and he made it feel like I was bothering him with the news. It really bothered me, but I conveyed the gender via text and we made plans to hang out that night. When I went over to his house, he was doting on me. It was very strange. I had no idea why he was caring for me like…well like he should have been from the beginning. Maybe he felt bad that he missed the ultrasound, or perhaps his family was in his ear. Either way, it was REALLY nice for a change. The next day, we told his son together that he was going to be a big brother to a little brother. His son was quite disinterested. He didn’t care and gave us a snotty attitude. Typical attitude of a then 9 year old boy. I wasn’t surprised and I’m sure it was confusing for him to hear this. I didn’t expect him to comprehend that we were having a baby and that he’d be a brother. I knew it would take some time to sink in. That was the last time I saw his son. I was told later from his son’s mother that he was asking a lot of questions about the baby, but his dad refused to acknowledge them. I guess he was pretending to his son like a baby didn’t exist. I, of course, found this to be rather disturbing. Who messes with their child’s head like that?

Shortly after we found out the sex of the baby, (a month to be exact) he broke up with me. I can say this was a real defining moment in my pregnancy and probably my life. It’s sad it didn’t happen sooner and by my own doing. I would have suffered a lot less and had a much more pleasant pregnancy. I’m glad I was able to salvage the last few months though. It’s so crazy thinking back to things that happened. Missing a sonogram and being an asshole should have been such warning flags for me. I guess I just didn’t want to be another statistic so I fought hard to put the pieces back together. In reality, those pieces should have never been together at all. If I could go back in time, I would still choose to date this disgusting human being and I would still have sex with such a heinous creature. Out of all of his ugliness, I have the most beautiful little boy. I am so very blessed and so glad that there was something good that came out of a very bad situation.

I’m glad that I’ve been able to move on and really put it all behind me. I have the best gift of all and that’s Emerson. He is so worth any bad thing that could ever happen and I’d do it over 100 times if it meant that I’d get him as an end result. I feel so appreciative to be given the title “mom” I take it very seriously and it’s something that I definitely think has to be earned. I fully feel deserving to be Emerson’s mother. I’m not sure why things happen, but I do believe they happen for a reason. I was faced with a disgusting human being and placed in his presence, so that I could receive such a huge gift. My life has been so much better ever since and I couldn’t be more appreciative. Sorry that I had to take us all back to such a dark time, but my point is all bad is counteracted with something good. Emerson’s father being the bad, but Emerson being the good. What a lucky gal I turned out to be 

Alright, I must end this now. I hope everyone has a super amazing Wednesday. Remember, with every bad comes a bit of good, so don’t lose hope!

Mummy's crying

I finished “The fault in our stars” last night. It was sad, beautiful, and funny all at the same time. I couldn’t put it down. Emerson was exhausted after daycare and ended up sleeping from 5:30pm-8:30pm. I utilized my time and finished the book. By the time I put it down, I was in tears. I actually had to leave the room to avoid waking the baby from my sobs. My sister read it too and we’re going to go and see the movie. What a great book. It really put a lot of things in perspective for me. I never want to go through that-ever. Next up, “If I stay”. I’m really excited about that book. I hear there is a sequel to that already. I’m excited about it! There is also a movie out too. My sister hasn’t started the book yet. I hope she hurries up, so I can get my hands on it!

I received a text on the way home yesterday from my landlord. He let me know the bees were dead. He also let me know that my neighbor is very fond of me and said nice things. That made me feel bad, but she is just so damn nosey! I can’t stand it. Maybe she has good intentions, but they come across very badly. I’m just glad he took care of it. I hope it’s a long time before she comes over complaining of some new issue she has with the property.

Well, bedtime last night was still a bit rough. No biting though. I was happy about that, but it took Emerson such a long time to fall asleep. It was nearly an hour before he finally stopped fidgeting and passed out. He woke about 2 hours later and then again about 3 hours after that. I woke up a little bit late though. I was having the absolute worst dream about my sister. It was stupid too. She was planning a party and invoked the help of my friends, but wanted nothing to do with my mom, sister, and I. I freaked out in the dream so badly! It was horrible! I guess thinking about all of that stuff yesterday really weighed heavily on my mind and translated via my dreams. I hope that’s the last of that. I hate having bad dreams!

I now have 12oz of milk in stock. I’m hoping to be able to add at least another 8oz to that by the end of this week. So far, I have 4oz at home ready to freeze. I don’t like to do that too prematurely though. I’d rather have all of my daycare bottles before I start freezing anything. This morning, I pumped 3oz from one side and then another 5oz this morning. I’m due to pump any minute and then once more before I go home. I typically pump 1 side around 5:30pm. I’m hoping to be able to get a total of 18oz today. I’ll send 16oz to daycare tomorrow, so I’ll have 2 to add to my stock. 18oz isn’t that much. I’m used to getting around 23, but Emerson has been eating early in the morning now, so he’s draining one side before I get to p ump. Either way, it’s still ensuring I produce enough. Whether it be from him, or the pump, the task is still being completed.

Emerson had a Gerber spaghetti meal last night and loved it! He had red sauce all over the place. It was in his hair, on his belly, and on his face. He cracks me up! It’s so funny watching him eat. He loves food so much and makes the craziest sounds in between bites. I guess I feed him too slow, but he is so greedy! He wants more before he even swallows what’s already in his mouth. I also gave him a side of squash to go with his meal. I split the Gerber meals in two, so he’s only eating half for dinner. They are 6oz containers, so he’s eating 3oz of the meal plus about 1oz of a fruit or veggie, then he gets a bit afterwards. It makes it easier for me because I can buy 10 meals, but it actually translates into 20 meals. It definitely saves money.

Welp, I think that’s all I have in me for today. I hope everyone had a good Monday and has an even better Tuesday!

Mummy's missing something

I haven’t spoken about this in quite some time because I haven’t really had time to consume myself with it. Plus, I think I bury these feelings because it makes me too sad and I don’t have time to really be sad. My sister is still very distant from our family. Yes, she has come around for some holidays, but even when I try to talk to her via text, she usually ignores me, or gives me a short response. The past couple of times I asked if she wanted to get together with myself and the baby, she’s ignored me, then claimed that she didn’t receive the text messages. The weird thing is, she’ll answer my texts up until I ask her to hang out. Coincidence? I mean, I’d like to think that a person isn’t being malicious on purpose and then just lying to cover up their malicious intent, but I 100% know that my mom told her I texted her and asked that she just reach out to see what I wanted. She never did. It’s weird. How can you receive text messages and then in a 30 second period they stop working right after I ask her what she’s doing, or if she wants to hang out? If you are going to choose to distance yourself, then at least own it and just say “No, thank you” instead of leaving me hanging. She hasn’t seen the baby in two months aside from about 5 minutes when she came over to meet my mom to go to dinner a few weeks ago. I try to give her the opportunity to spend some time with him because she seemed a small bit interested in having a relationship with him. I think I misread it. If he’s there, then she’ll talk to him, but out of sight out of mind? I can’t figure it out. Maybe I’m not meant to figure it out. Like I said, I don’t have a whole lot of time to give it thought, but it’s always lingering there in the back of my mind. It came up yesterday because my mom was crying.

We all had plans to go to Isaiah’s football game. I didn’t mention anything to my sister because she never answered the last text messages that I sent and disregarded the text from my mom asking her to see what I wanted because she said she didn’t get my message. You can only be shot down so many times. I figured she doesn’t want bothered by me, so why continue to bother someone? We all just kind of plan these family things without her because we all know the answer will be no and it’s just less hurtful to not hear the disappointment. She knows she’d always be included if she wanted to. I guess we all just assume now that the answer will be No, so why continue to ask? She texted my mom and invited her to come to her apartment for coffee. Well, obviously this is disheartening to us. The kids are here. She could come over and spend time with the kids and my dad, whom she hasn’t seen either. Wouldn’t that make sense? Instead, she isolates herself further. It just feels insulting to us, but again, there really isn’t much that we can do. My mom let her know we were going to Isaiah’s first game of the season and invited her. Well, I guess she said she couldn’t because she had other plans. I just thought that was weird because she had time to have coffee with mom, but not come to some of Isaiah’s game, even if it wasn’t the entire game. It’s just obvious that we are being avoided. It sucks because we truly thought she was changing and coming back around, but then she starts isolating herself again and we’re all just kind of confused.

It has been almost an entire year that everything broke. We all had hope that it would come back together a long time ago, but it hasn’t and I am finally starting to accept that it never will. I told Brittany yesterday that it feels like Nikki died. I said I know that seems so extreme, but it does. She agreed with me. You want someone around so much and to talk to them again, but you can’t. It really does feel like she died. It’s so strange. I still can’t believe this all happened because Brittany found out via me some of the things Nikki was saying about her and Britt posted on facebook about Nikki’s life change. I mean, that isn’t relationship breaking at all. It’s petty and stupid. High school at best. These aren’t things that tear apart a family at all. We’ve owned up to and apologized for our mistakes. It happened and you move on from them. Girls will be girls, and yes, we were typical gossiping girls.

I so wish I could just go back in time. It has sucked for an entire year. Even through the good times like having the baby and seeing him grow, there is always this element that is missing. During family dinners and excursions, there is always this small missing piece. Sometimes I think she gets her jollies off of making us feel this way because it sort of makes her feel superior. If we didn’t give her this feeling, then maybe she would come around. Almost like “absence makes the heart grow fonder” kind of stuff. We tried that. We tried being silent and quiet, but it didn’t really work. We tried the desperation avenue too. That also didn’t work. You can just see the change in her eyes. It’s so weird because she isn’t the same Nikki at all. I just remember her being so fucking funny. Like, she would say the CRAZIEST stuff that would have you in hysterics. She was always there to listen too. Sometimes her advice was a little harsh, but sometimes that rawness was necessary. She was humble too. She didn’t think she was better than you and was so relatable. Now, there is an air of “I am superior and better” “my life is better than yours” It’s strange and you’d truly just have to know her pre and post Nikki. It’s sad. It’s like her spirit was literally sucked right out of her and replaced with this unknown person.

I don’t know if she’s happy. I can’t tell. What I see when she is around is a façade. A person that is so closed off and just giving you the side of her that she thinks we want to see. Partying and drinking with her friends, always out and about, and just living such a fun life. Constantly being invited here and there and always busy and on the go. We don’t care about that stuff though. It’s all superficial and none of us even care to hear about that. We want to hear from the real Nikki. The one that was honest and caring. Asking us how we are and reciprocating with something personal about her life. She did replace her family with her friends. Maybe that is making her happy? I still can’t tell. What about when these people move on though? I guess that might never happen. We will always be there regardless, but it sucks that 15 more years might lapse before it happens.

It’s just so weird. I can’t even describe the huge, gaping hole that I have in my life. The sad thing is, I don’t know that I’d want to replace that hole with THIS person. I just want the OLD person back. Heck, I’d even take the OLD person with a MIX of the new. It’s better than nothing. She just absolutely hates me so badly guys. It makes me want to cry. Okay, I can’t type anymore about this…

Mummy's Nose Ass Neighbor

This weekend certainly had its highs and lows. The highs were so high that the lows don’t really matter, but maybe too many lows in a row has just put me in a grouchy mood today. I’m desperately trying to not let it get to me, but sometimes it’s easier said than done.

Friday was very nice. I had a half day at work. My mum watched Emerson for an hour, so that I could grocery shop afterwards. I ended up getting everything on my list and saving $5! That was a nice surprise. After grocery shopping, I picked Emerson up and headed home. Emerson ended up falling asleep on the way, so when we got home, I let him sleep. I put all of the groceries away and cleaned up the house. In the middle of cleaning, I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Of course, Kodie went nuts, which meant the baby woke up. I was pretty annoyed. What the hell does she want?! So, I open the door and she hands me a magnet letting me know there are bees in my front yard and she’d like to call my landlord to have him spend $250 on a bee removal service. I had to laugh at this. Who the hell does this woman think she is? She was the one who came over constantly when the skunks were in my yard. Even after the traps were set, she wouldn’t leave me alone! I just cannot stand her. If it’s on my property, then stay the fuck away from it and stay the hell away from me too. I’m so sick of her disrupting me. I just had the grass cut 2 days prior. I reached out to the person who cuts my grass and was told there was no bee’s nest. I did see bees, but nothing out of the ordinary for August. I can’t help the fact that mother nature has bees buzzing around my front yard. Too bad. She doesn’t hang out front, or back for that matter, so who cares?? It’s August. Soon, it’ll be chilly out and there won’t be any bees. I didn’t disturb my landlord over this. I assumed she’d leave it go and if I did notice any in excess, then I’d reach out.

Saturday, we had such a nice day. Emerson and I slept in. When we woke, I made us breakfast and we played at home. It was really nice not having anywhere to be early. He took several small naps. In between, I cleaned and got ready for the day. We had plans with my sister and nephew for later in the afternoon. We all headed down to the waterfront again to sincerely yogurt and then a trip to the bookstore. We had such a good time! The weather was absolutely beautiful. Emerson loved the bookstore so much. The kid’s section is freaking adorable. Obviously, I never ventured into it pre-kid, so I had no idea how adorable the set up was. It was fun looking around at all of the books. I bought him one too! He just got TONS for his half birthday, so I didn’t think we needed to buy loads. One was sufficient enough. Anyway, afterwards, we headed over to my parent’s house. We hung for a bit before we went home for the night. Emerson fought be a bit at bedtime, but after he was down for the night, I read a few chapters of “the fault in our stars”. My sister read it already, so once I am done, we’re going to go to see the movie. She is now reading “if I stay” I can’t wait to read that next. I read for about 45 minutes and then called it a night.

Sunday, Emerson and I slept in again. We woke up and I made a big breakfast for Kodie’s 2nd birthday! It feels like I’ve had her for so long. I got her in November of 2012, so I haven’t even had her for 2 years yet. Her birth date was August 24th. 2012 though, so we celebrate that date. After breakfast, Emerson and I got ready for the day. My nephew had his first football game, so we wanted to go to cheer him on. We got to my parent’s house around noon and were told the game didn’t start until 2:30pm. Originally, we thought it started around 1-1:30pm. Emerson and I suited up and hopped in the pool for an hour. The weather was beautiful! There was no way I was wasting that sitting around the house. We had such a good time. He absolutely loves the pool. Afterwards, I fed him and he napped for about 15 minutes before we had to leave for the game. The sun was BRUTAL. We were under an umbrella and he was lathered up in sunscreen, but he still ended up getting a small burn on his cheeks. Nothing horrendous, or anything to be concerned about, but he does have a tint of pink. We had a good time at the game though. The field was re-done. It looks amazing. The colors are so bright! Afterwards, we headed back into the pool for another hour. Emerson ended up taking another nap for about a half hour. I ate dinner with my family and chatted with my sister in the yard. It was really nice. We headed home around 7pm.

In true Emerson fashion, he snoozed on the way home. I took the opportunity to do bottles and try to get ready for daycare and work. Kodie was outside playing when my annoying neighbor knocked on the door! I shut the back door to quiet the barking to not wake Emerson. I wanted him to sleep for a small bit longer until I was done doing bottles. Then, I could do dinner and bath. Anyway, the neighbor just continued to knock and knock! What the hell, lady?! I ignored the door. I didn’t feel like answering to her ass. She finally left the front door and I heard the dog start to FREAK the hell out. I opened up the back door and noticed her trying to get into my yard. Okay, this has reached a serious level of ridiculousness! Kodie would have either bit her, or ran away if she would have opened the gate. Who the hell behaves this way?! I ran back to the front door and flew it open! She came back up my stairs and said “I need to ask about the bees” I told her the baby was sleeping and I cannot talk right now. She apologized and I slammed the door. What the hell?! I am so upset. Afterwards, I texted my landlord. He’s coming over this week to check things out just to appease this woman. I cannot take it though. I was so upset over it I started to cry. I am so sick of this woman. She has me on edge ALL of the time. She has me so on edge that if the baby cries, I worry that she can hear it and will complain about the noise, or think something bad is going on in my house! That is a ridiculous mindset, but she is constantly in my business. The other day, she said to me “Can I see your baby?” She had this accusatory tone to her voice too. I am a freaking WONDERFUL mother! I am not shy in saying that either. My baby is 100% taken care of. I don’t need this stupid whore questioning that, or giving me an accusatory tone. The next time she says anything to me, I’m just telling her like it is. I don’t know why I am so fearful to be direct with people. I don’t want confrontation, but this is over the line. You don’t behave this way. It isn’t right! Old people have such a complex. I don’t care that she’s older than me. She has no bearing on my life and needs to back the fuck off. I have so much going on. I don’t need to worry about this stupid bitch. It’s just an unnecessary stress. I hate having to bug my landlord. He is such a nice guy, but he has a family and a life too. Unless it’s seriously urgent like the skunks were, I don’t want to even do more than send my rent check.

After all of that occurred, I fed the baby dinner, gave him a bath, and tried putting him to bed. He was not having it for some reason. He bit me quite a few times. He hasn’t bit me in a month! I was so shocked and it completely caught me off guard. He finally went to sleep and so did I. he was up several times during the night though. I’m hoping it’s just a phase and it’ll pass quickly. I guess we’ll see how it goes tonight. This morning was so fucked up. I forgot my laptop! After I dropped the baby off, I had to go back to get it, which meant I missed the bus. I had to get on a later bus. Luckily, I wasn’t more than 30 minutes late for work. Then, one side of my pump isn’t working. I’m not sure what is up with that. When I pump again later, I’ll check it out, but I really am hoping it’s okay. I had to pump one side at a time. I just really want the rest of the day to be okay. No more surprises. My car is parked at a different park and ride now, so I’m hoping I don’t forget when I get off the bus later. That’ll be a nightmare!

This week, we don’t have much going on. I’m working in office Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I’ll do the laundry on Thursday, then work from home. Friday, I’m also working from home, but taking a half day before the holiday. I just want to have a really nice, calm week. No neighbor problems. Just nice peace and quiet. I hate feeling like I have to report to someone. I mean, I am a grown ass woman. I have enough on my plate. I just want this woman to leave me the hell alone! Sorry, I am trying to let it go. I’m excited for Labor Day weekend though. My sister and I are going to get some fall clothes for the baby on Saturday. Sunday and Monday, we are cooking out with the family. Pool time will be logged. Let’s pray for sunshine. I can’t wait!

I know this blog is me venting a lot, but outside of the neighbor, this was one of the best weekends we had this summer. I had such a good time with the baby and hanging out. He is so freaking adorable. He is so good at crawling onto his knees. He just isn’t crawling ON them yet. He moved ONE knee yesterday. We waited forever with our cameras out to record the first crawls. It won’t be long now. We are probably any minute away from it happening. It scares me that it’ll happen at daycare, but I think they are respectful enough to not tell me, so that I think the first time is when it happens at home. He is just too cute. He makes me smile so much and is truly my sunshine. I’m ending this on a good note. I hope everyone has a speedy Monday. 

Mummy's grouchy today

Today has been kind of ridiculous. I decided to work from home today because I have the most annoying 3 hour training from1pm-4pm. I mean, seriously?? I’m hoping it really isn’t that long. Seeing what the training is, I can already tell its unnecessary. Apparently it only lasted an hour yesterday. I’m hoping that’s the going trend with this session. Anyway, I decided to do the laundry this morning. I texted my mom last and offered to do their laundry as well. After I dropped the baby off at daycare, I swung by their house, picked up their laundry, and headed over to the Laundromat before work. For some reason, loading and unloading heavy baskets really wiped me out today. I was beat by the time I got back to my parent’s house. I went to pump and realized I didn’t have any of my pump stuff. Ugh!!!!!!!! I was so upset. Anyway, I headed back home, pumped, logged in to work, and was frustrated with a project I’m working on. Knowing I have training makes my mood a lot grimmer, but I’m trying to stay positive today.

Last night, after I got the baby to bed, I worked on the playroom. I hung the rainbow fabric panels on the wall and finished my cloud throw pillows. It looks amazing! Dad is going to measure to put carpet in. I also received the patio door curtain in the mail. That needs hung up, but I need to buy a curtain rod first. I dread that project. I hate hanging curtain rods. I swear, it never works right. I’m hoping it doesn’t take me forever. The curtain is really nice though and necessary. I hate being in the basement without a curtain on the patio door. It’s scary thinking anyone can look in at me. My neighbor across the street is a creeper and always staring at me. He can see right into my basement from his front door. I just want to get the curtain up to avoid that awkwardness. I’m going to make some cloud poms to hang from the ceiling. That’s the last of the projects I’ll be doing in the playroom until next month. I plan on buying a new couch in October, which means my current living room couch will be going into the playroom. I’m so excited about this. I’ve needed a new couch for quite some time. The old one will be okay to go into the playroom until I can upgrade again.

This weekend, we’re going to sincerely yogurt again with my sister and nephew. I don’t have any other plans aside from some pool time. The weather looks okay on Sunday, so hopefully we aren’t washed out again. Other than that, I hope we can just relax and sleep in a bit. I couldn’t fall asleep at all last night. The last time I looked at the clock it was after 11. The baby was up two separate times to eat, which wasn’t too bad. He fought me a little at bedtime, but nothing unmanageable. We played a lot last night, so he was pretty tuckered out. He’s now able to crawl onto his knees. He can hold that position for a couple of minutes. He hasn’t mastered crawling on his knees yet. His poor knees were so red yesterday though. I felt bad. He must have really been trying at daycare. When I picked him up, his knees were bright pink. He needs some knee pads. Haha.

Alright, That’s about all I have for today. I need to go pump one more time before training begins.

Happy Thursday, All!

MUMMY'S CRANKY PANTS

I got my rainbow colored curtain panels in the mail already! I’m so excited, but less enthused about actually hanging them up. That sounded really lazy. I just know it isn’t going to be the easiest task. My plan is to use thick string and eye hooks. I’ll have to fish the string through each curtain panel and then tie them up to the eye hooks. Sounds easy, right? I’ve done this before and it’s always really hard to get the string through the panels. The last time I did this, I tied the string to the end of a pen and I fished it through that way. There are 6 panels though. It’s going to take me some time. This is the cheapest and easiest solution to hanging these panels against the wall. I’d end up spending a ton of money on a curtain rod that can even extend that far distance. Once I get it up, it’ll be fine, but actually don’t it will probably suck. I was a little disappointed in the length too. I wanted the curtains to sweep the floor. That definitely isn’t going to happen. The length between the ceiling and floor is bigger than I anticipated. I guess we’ll just see how it looks when it’s all said and done. I’ll post pictures when it’s ready. I stuffed one cloud pillow last night. Of course, I busted the seam, so I need to take some stuffing out and repair before closing the pillow up. Decorating was an epic fail last night.

Emerson was in rare form last night too. Meltdown city for about 3 hours! I have no idea what was up with him. He was just FREAKING out. As long as I held him, he was okay, but I had stuff to do around the house. We hadn’t been home all day. Eventually, I gave up and just walked around with him. I thought maybe I’d be able to sooth him to sleep. Not a chance in hell. Around 8:15pm, I put him in the bath and let him play awhile. Afterwards, I gave him dinner, which consisted of apples/blueberries in a baby food jar. I was defeated by that point and didn’t have it in me to serve a real dinner. Plus, he seems to be a little bit bound up still. He didn’t poop at all yesterday. I started to wonder if his tummy was bothered him. I laid him down on his belly and rubbed his back and put him in a warm bath. I thought that might get things going. Hopefully the apples helped and he poops at daycare today. I do have more prunes, but I left them at my parent’s house. I’ll have to grab them if he doesn’t go at daycare today. Anyway, after dinner, I took him up to bed. I thought he was going to fight me. I guess he thought I suffered enough because he went right to bed. He was up a couple of times, but nothing outrageous. It was just really insane. I’ve never seen him flip out like that before. Part of the frustration was my own fault. I was trying to clean and stuff my cloud pillows. I should have just accepted that I wasn’t going to get anything done last night and left it for another time. Let’s just hope he has a better day today.

I did the ice bucket challenge yesterday to raise awareness for ALS. It was fun and I was silly and wore a winter coat and gloves. I caught a lot of flak for it though. I was told it was considered cheating, but I’m not re-doing the challenge. That water was cold! My sister made us use the water from the pool, which was freezing! With the temperature dropping so much in the evening, the water hasn’t warmed up at all this summer. I had a good time doing it though and it’s fun to see the people I nominated carry the challenge out.

My stomach is bothering me so much today! I didn’t think I’d make it into work, but because I want to take a half day on Friday, there was no way I was working from home today. I sucked it up and made the hour long ride into town on the bus. I didn’t throw up, so that’s a plus! I’m still feeling iffy. We have a staff meeting shortly, so I hope I can keep it together through that. Maybe this is why the baby was cranky last night. Maybe he felt the same way then that I do now. It’s no fun though! I hope it’s just a fluke. I didn’t eat anything weird yesterday either.

I was able to watch my shows after Emerson went to bed last night. I am so obsessed with the Bravo! Network. Real Housewives of Orange County was on last night. It was the season finale. I can’t wait for the reunion special. Typically, they do a 3 part reunion. It was such a good season, so I’m sure the reunion will be just as good. I can’t get enough of this channel though. I just realized I left my bedroom door open and the remote on my bed. Ugh, let’s hope Kodie doesn’t eat that today. I’ll be so upset. She already ate one remote. I won’t be able to change the channel in my bedroom and it isn’t on Bravo! Right now. I changed it to TV Land last night, so I could get my King of Queens fix before bed. I am so lame. These are the things I worry about during the day! I think the remote might be hidden under my pillow though, so there is hope that she doesn’t eat it. I love her to pieces, but she can be a real asshole at times.

I think I’ll stick to regular baby food tonight for Emerson’s dinner. I just want to make sure that I’m not causing him discomfort. Maybe I’ve been too aggressive with the solids. He has teeth though and chews and swallows so well. I don’t want to regress and start feeding pureed food again. Maybe I just need to make blander dishes. I have no idea what I’ll even make for myself tonight. I really want to be get back into cooking healthier, but I swear, it’s just easier making chicken patties and French fries! I need to re-do my grocery list and just preplan and precook meals. It’ll be easier that way.


I had my mid-year review last week. I was rated a 4 out of 5, which is amazing. Very rarely does anyone receive a 5, so getting a 4 is great. We have end of year reviews sometime in December. I won’t find out my raise amount until January, which will go into effect on April 1st. I hope it’s good. I have a huge project due by the end of the year. I have to break out and complete16 process flows. My year end goal is to complete 7 flows. I already have 3 done. I’m working on a 4th this week. I’m aiming to completely at least 10 before end of year, so I’m exceeding the goal. It takes a really long time though.

Alright, I have to go get ready for my meeting. My stomach is dying right now.  I hope everyone has a really good Tuesday.

Mummy's mellow weekend

This weekend was pretty mellow. After work on Friday, I went to do the laundry. Emerson stayed with my mom. Afterwards, we went home. Nothing too exciting to report. Saturday, my mom and sister babysat for me, so that I could go to my friend’s baby shower. It was gorgeous! I had a nice time. Emerson ended up army crawling for the first time when I wasn’t there. I was so upset that I missed it, but luckily, my sister was able to get a video of it. When I got home, my sister and I took the baby down to the waterfront. We went to a place called Sincerely Yogurt. Emerson had sherbet and loved it! We window shopped for a bit before heading home. Yesterday, I filled up his pool. We swam a bit before heading over to visit my parents. I ended up running up to Walmart to purchase stuffing for two cloud pillows that I made during one of Emerson’s naps yesterday. I can’t wait to complete the pillows. They are so adorable! I used some gray polka dotted fabric that I had lying around the house. The cost of the stuffing was pretty minimal, so I got two huge pillows for about $9!

This week, nothing too much is going on. I have to hang the patio door curtain in my basement. Let’s hope that isn’t too hard of a project. I have another half day on Friday too, which I’m excited about. I’m hoping the weather is beautiful this upcoming weekend, so that we can use the pool. It’s been so chilly at night. The water is freezing! I know if I wouldn’t want to get in, then Emerson for sure won’t want to use it. Britt and I are taking the kids back to sincerely yogurt this Saturday. Isaiah wasn’t with us when we went and he wants to check it out. He has an away football game on Saturday too. I don’t think I’ll be attending that though. It’s too much work with the baby. He isn’t going to want to sit in bleachers for hours on end. I can’t exactly let him crawl around either. We’ll go to the first home game though and stay for a bit to cheer Isaiah on.

I had to give Emerson prunes last night. He has been having a rough time going #2. He went twice on Saturday, but both times were very hard and stone-like. After he ate the prunes, he ended up having a bowel movement during dinner! I didn’t care. I was just happy it was soft and he felt better afterwards! So, it seems okay now. I have more prunes just in case, but I’m so glad he was able to go last night! I made tater tot casserole yesterday. He was not a fan. I think it was the ground meat in it. I’ll just eat that for the week and give him something else. I’ll give it another try tonight before I call it a fail.

I have new visitors living under my shed…BUNNIES! They are absolutely adorable! Before I moved in, my landlord told me there were a lot of adorable, fluffy bunnies that run around the neighborhood. I hadn’t seen any. Well, the skunks moved in and kicked the bunnies out. I guess they reclaimed their home now that the skunks are gone! Kodie wasn’t too bothered by them yesterday. We were all in the yard and she didn’t even chase after the bunny. I know she saw it too. I just don’t want her getting a hold of one. I will freak out if Kodie ends up eating a bunny. I’ve never seen her eat anything before, but I haven’t had much luck with wildlife either. LOL Anything is possible!

Alright, that’s about all I have for today. I hope everyone has a speedy Monday!

Mummy's in the clouds

I finished the cloud wall! It looks beautiful and I couldn’t be happier with it! I haven’t done anything else to the room. I’m waiting for the colored panels to come in the mail, so I can hang them on the adjacent wall to resemble a rainbow. I think it’ll look cute! I’m so much more excited over this room now that I see the cloud wall completed. I can’t believe I didn’t mess it up! I am no artist, so doing something freehand like that made me extremely nervous. You can’t really mess up a cloud though. It’s supposed to be whimsical!



Emerson can now crawl backward. It is hilarious! He more slides than crawls, but it’s a step towards crawling. It won’t be long now. I have a couple of baby-proofing kits that I need to open to prepare the house. I haven’t done that yet, but we’re getting awfully close to him being able to crawl, so I might as well prepare now. Emerson had ravioli for dinner last night and loved it. It wasn’t regular ravioli. It was one of those Gerber meals, so there wasn’t any sauce on it. It was stuffed with carrot. I had to run to the store to grab a gift bag for the baby shower I’m going to tomorrow and grabbed it on a whim. He tried picking the pieces up himself, but we aren’t quite there yet. I’ll still let him try, but for now, it’ll be me spoon and fork feeding.

I have a half day today, which is awesome. After work, I’m heading to the Laundromat to finish up the clothes I didn’t get to wash on Tuesday and what we’ve used all week. Afterwards, I’m just hanging out with Emerson. We’ll visit my parents and then probably head over to the park. No pool today. It’s not going to be that warm and was chilly this morning. This summer has been such a bust. More cold and rainy days than hot. The baby loves the water too, so it really irritates me when we can’t use the pool during the weekends.

I still haven’t heard if my sister and mom are taking my nephew to football weigh-ins tomorrow. I really hope they aren’t. My mom is babysitting Emerson for me, while I go to the baby shower. I guess I’ll find out when she gets home from work around 11am today. Alright, that’s about all I have to report now! I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!!!

Mummy's Blue

Well, I was able to finish the blue painting in the cloud room last night. I’m having second thoughts about hanging the curtain panels on the second wall. The blue looks so amazing that I think I might just paint the other wall and put clouds all over it too. I’m going to make the decision after I’m done painting the clouds on the first wall. If it doesn’t seem that hard, or take that long, then I’ll definitely do the second wall. If I feel like it doesn’t look that, then I’ll get the panels and hang them on the second wall. It looks awesome though. I’m really shocked at my painting skills. Now, let’s pray I can paint some decent looking clouds! The good thing is if I mess up while painting the clouds, I can just paint over it. I have plenty of blue left. While I was painting, Kodie leaned against the wall and ended up getting ton of blue paint all over her. The paint washes off fairly easy though, so she’s now paint-free. I stepped in paint too and it didn’t wash off in the shower. I’m now walking around with blue paint on the bottom of my right foot! Stylin!

After we got home from daycare, I cleaned and sterilized bottles, then I made spaghetti for dinner. A friend of mine warned me about the acidic levels in spaghetti sauce. She said it gave her kiddos a pretty bad diaper rash. I took a chance and gave it to him anyway. I figure I’ll never know if he has a sensitivity to it unless I give it to him. He seems okay, but we’ll see how he is later. If I feel there is an issue, we’ll be nixing spaghetti sauce from our meal plan. I didn’t put too much sauce on his noodles though, so hopefully that helps. He absolutely loved it though. He was screaming and slamming his hand down for more. It was hilarious! He didn’t eat dinner until 8:30pm. I was starving, so I ate without him. I don’t like doing that. I want us to eat dinner together every night, but by 7pm, my belly was grumbling and he was sleeping!

During bath, I pulled out the laundry basket and put it in the tub. It worked perfectly! We’re now using that method until I feel that he isn’t going to pull any crazy tricks on me and lunge forward again. He looked a little confused at first, but then started to splash around. I felt a lot better about bath and less panicked too. What the hell did people do before Pinterest?? I would have never thought of that had my friends not posted their kids in a basket in the tub after finding it on Pinterest. Emerson looked pretty cute in the basket though. He ended up playing in the tub for about a half an hour. Luckily, he didn’t get too messy with spaghetti either. After all of that, it was bedtime. He went down pretty quickly too. He slept all night until about 1:30am. He ate quickly, then was back down until 6am. Not too bad. I feel rested today. A little tired just from running around last night and this morning, but good otherwise.

We’re having leftover spaghetti for dinner tonight. I didn’t make too much, but we do have enough for dinner tonight and probably lunch for me tomorrow. It’ll be nice to not have to cook tonight. Emerson plays so well on his own. It’s nice that I can cook dinner, clean, and do bottles without too much of a fuss. I put him in the exersaucer in the kitchen with me and he just plays and talks to me, while I do my thing. It’s insane thinking how much he’s grown. I remember moving into the house back in April and never being able to eat, or do anything while he was awake. He always wanted held, needed fed, or needed something. I could never leave him sitting by himself to play for too long before he’d fuss. Now, I can clean and make an entire meal without a hassle. I will say it is very bittersweet to see him grow so fast, but that is definitely a nice perk. It’s a lot less stressful for me! After I was done cooking dinner, we went into the living room to play for a while. Em had just eaten at daycare at 4:15pm, so I knew he wouldn’t be hungry yet. We played on the floor for about an hour, while I tried to get him to crawl forward. He’d start to do it, then pull back and stop. He’s getting there though. Practice makes perfect. That must have really tuckered him out. He ended up napping from about 6:30-7:45pm. I had some “me-time” then. I didn’t do anything, but watch a couple of my shows, eat dinner, and play with the dog. Those moments are always appreciated though. I also held him for a very long time before I laid him down by himself. He’s such a cutie. I can’t help staring at him sometimes and these moments won’t last forever. Eventually, he won’t be my little baby anymore, so I’m trying to suck it all up now.

Someone told me today that I make motherhood look easy. I laughed. The funniest thing about that statement is I thought that about other people before I had a baby. I always thought that they made it look so easy. Now, I just realize it’s because they don’t bitch and moan all day. That’s why they make it look easy. They make it look stress-free. I am NOT perfect, I am NOT susi homemaker (although people like to tell me I am), and I do complain at times. Everyone has their days. I have mine. I just try to not have them often though because who wants to live like that?

Yesterday, I pumped a total of 21o ounces. I was able to stock pile 7 of those ounces. Today, so far, I’ve pumped 12oz. I still have to pump at least 3 more times, so I’m sure I’ll get around 23oz. I was a little lazy last night and only pumped 1 time after work, which is why I only got 21oz instead of 23oz. It’s nice to know that I have a stock. I’m going to try to keep this up, so that I can continue to put some away. A little goes a long way.

Alright, enjoy your Wednesday everyone!

Mummy's scare

I was able to get the grocery shopping done after work last night. I was also able to get all of our laundry put away too before I picked Emerson up from daycare. My parents were having breakfast for dinner, so they invited us over. Emerson had just eaten at 4:10pm, so I knew he wouldn’t be hungry. He ended up falling asleep on the way over to their house, waking up to eat some eggs, then going back to sleep for another snooze. He ended up sleeping the entire drive home and stayed sleeping until about 8:15pm. While he slept, I did all of the dishes and cleaned/sterilized bottles, plus packed my lunch for today. After he woke up, I took him right to the tub for bath. Afterwards, I fed him dinner (just carrots/cereal last night), then he got the boob and put down for bed. I stayed up until 10pm to watch my show (Real Housewives of Orange County). I conked out shortly after. Emerson woke up around 3am to eat. I was so tired when my alarm went off at 4am that I slept in until 5:15am. Not good. Luckily, I had everything ready. All I had to do was shower and pump real quick. I still made it to the bus in time. Emerson was NOT happy when I woke him at 6am though. I felt bad. I can’t wait for the weekend when we can just sleep in a bit and wake naturally with no alarms. I’m making spaghetti for dinner tonight. We’ll have leftovers, so we’ll end up eating that again tomorrow night. I hope Emerson likes it. If not, I’ll be taking spaghetti for lunch the next few days!

Emerson scared the hell out of me last night during bath. He crawled forward to grab his rubber ducky and when he did it, he put his face down and got water in his nose. For a second, he was looking at me with this panicked expression on his face. I grabbed him out of the tub and ran towards my phone. I thought I was going to have to call 911! I know, I know. First mom jitters. It looked like he wasn’t breathing for a second and then all of a sudden, A-CHOO! He let out a huge sneeze. I felt such relief. I put him back in the tub and tried to remain calm. The last thing I want to do is scare him of the water. He was fine after that. I don’t care how much you hover and watch. You can’t predict him doing something like that. I stopped using the baby tub because he’s get a little big for it, but he also can’t really play in it. There is a built in seat that makes him have to lie back, therefore he can’t really splash, or play. Now that he can hold himself up and sit up so well, I took the baby tub out and he’s just been taking baths in the big tub. I think I’ll be doing the laundry basket method from now on. This way, he can’t pull any slick moves on me, but he has the freedom to sit up and play. I was so panicked though. It scared the shit out of me! Anyway, after all of that, we had jammie time. I put him on the floor and tried to get him to crawl forward like he did in the pool and the tub. No go. Maybe he just feels the confidence in the water. We’ll keep working at it, but it’s insane to me how he wants to pull onto his knees and does pull onto his knees anytime he’s in water, but doesn’t do it when he’s on the floor!

The daycare teacher mentioned his bottles to me this morning when I dropped him off. She said she noticed they were smaller. I said yes, they are 1oz smaller, but I am sending the same amount of ounces. They’re just broken out into 5 bottles instead of 4. I told her I never decreased his bottles after I started solids, so after seeing the doctor, we talked about it, and she said it was fine. I didn’t feel like his teacher was being combative with me, but I didn’t feel like she was supporting it either. I don’t really care. He’s my child and I’ll make the decisions. I pay them to do what I want, so I’ll continue sending his bottles this way. He’s eating plenty. She even made the comment that he’s wanting more of the solids now. Well duh! The doctor said she wants Emerson eating at least 20oz of milk a day. He’s having 16oz at daycare and then I nurse AT LEAST 3 times after daycare. He’s definitely getting those 20oz and then some.

My friend’s baby shower is on Saturday. I have to look at the invitation, but I think it starts around 1pm. My mom is babysitting for me, so that I don’t have to bring Emerson with me. As much as I love my little monster, it’ll be nice to go and hang out with the girls for a few hours without him. Plus, it’ll be really chaotic with him there. He is never going to want to sit at a table nicely. I don’t want to make him have to do that either. He’ll get a grandma day. The only wrench in the plan is if my mom has to take my nephew to football weigh-ins. It isn’t that close and I’m not comfortable with them taking Emerson. I don’t know why. I trust my mom’s driving abilities, but it just seems like a lot. Driving 40 minutes up to weigh-ins and 40 minutes back. Plus, it’ll probably take a couple of hours just to be weighed. The entire football association has to be weighed. We’ll see though. My nephew is with his dad that day, but his dad and mom were fighting over it yesterday, so we’ll see what happens. Can I just say, I am so glad I don’t have to co-parent! I am more than thankful that I don’t have to put up with someone’s shit! They both screw with each other. It is exhausting to me, so I can’t imagine how they both feel. My nephew is 10 though, so he’s a little older and understands what is going on. I don’t ever want to expose Emerson to such negativity. I’m glad that I’m the one making all of the decisions.

Let’s talk about pumping for a minute. My favorite topic aside from Emerson. Yesterday, I only pumped 19oz. Typically, I pump around 22/23oz a day. I didn’t pump when I woke up though. Instead, I fed him before daycare. If I hadn’t done that, I’m sure I would have had my 23oz. So far today, I’ve pumped twice and I’ve gotten 11oz. The first time I got 5 and the second time I got 6. That’s almost three bottles! I have an extra 2oz sitting at home too, which is nice. I’m trying to build up a stock and I think I have a pretty good shot with the way I’m doing bottles now. Emerson only drank 4 of the 5 bottles that I sent yesterday to daycare, so I only had to send 4 bottles today. I want to build a stockpile to be able to grab a bottle if we’re going somewhere, or for days that someone might be watching him for me like on Saturday during the shower. It’ll be nice to not feel so much pressure because I’ll have a bit extra on hand. Right now, I’m poor in the breastfeeding world because I only have 2oz stock piled. My friend has over 300oz, so she is quite wealthy with all of that liquid gold. I’m happy knowing I can replenish what daycare uses every day. He is always with me outside of daycare, so I can nurse on demand and never have to worry about having bottles. No one else is feeding him.

I’ve started and stopped this blog all day, so I’m sorry if it’s long. I just have fleeting thoughts at times and it’s really nice to get them down. I don’t have a lot of “me” time. As crazy as it sounds, blogging is “me” time and I prefer this over shopping, or doing something by myself. Even though I really enjoy it, it’s convenient. It’s free, I don’t have to go anywhere, and I don’t compromise any time with the baby. It’s a win win 

Tonight, I’m really going to try to stay motivated, so that I can finish painting the cloud room. I bought a paint brush last night. The roller wasn’t cutting it on those basement cement walls. I needed a paint brush to get into all of the grooves and cracks. I didn’t feel well last night though, so didn’t get up to paint after I put Emerson to bed. My goal is to have it all done by the end of the week. I still have to paint the clouds onto the wall after I’m done with the blue. I decided to only paint one wall and to put up fabric on the second wall. I want to do rainbow colors. I found cheap curtain panels for $4.99 yesterday. I found a red, orange, indigo, green, yellow, and blue. I didn’t order them because I can’t right now, but I plan on getting them next Friday when I get paid. I think it’ll look really adorable having one wall of blue sky/clouds, and then the adjacent wall of panels that resemble a rainbow. It’ll also be nice knowing that I don’t have to paint two walls. This way, if I ever do move, I’ll only have to paint over one wall. Less work for me. The fabric panels was a fleeting thought, but I think it’ll look really adorable and soften that space up. It seems so cold with the cement walls. The carpet will soften it up too, but I definitely think hanging up some fabric is the way to go. I have white, sheer curtains to enclose the rest of the space. It’ll look really adorable. I’m excited. I can’t wait for it to be done. It feels like it’s going to take me forever!!

Alright, that’s about all I have for now. I hope everyone has a lovely Tuesday 

Mummy's busy weekend

This weekend was pretty good. We had our ups and downs, but mostly ups, which is more than I could ask for. After work on Friday, I picked Emerson up and then headed to my parent’s house to visit with my aunt who was in from Erie. She and her husband stayed for about two hours. It was really nice seeing them. My cousin is getting married next year, so she came in to help her shop for dresses. They had dinner plans with her daughter and fiancé that night, so they stopped by beforehand. Afterwards, Emerson and I hung out with my parents for a little bit before heading home. We were in bed relatively early. I was pretty tired from the week.

Saturday was insane! The fun kind though. Emerson and I woke up early. I made pancakes and eggs for breakfast, which he absolutely loved! It was so much fun eating breakfast together. Afterwards, he took a small nap, while I got ready and cleaned up the house. We had to head up to Walmart to buy some paint for the cloud room. I bought the most gorgeous shade of blue! I love it!! I’m only painting one wall, so I knew I didn’t need more than a gallon. I’ll definitely have plenty left over. We had a pretty good time in Walmart. We walked around and window shopped for a bit. Emerson was a perfect Angel. Afterwards, we headed over to my parent’s house. This is where the fun began! We had 7 of my cousins over to swim plus my friend and her two kids. In total, there were 9 kids (including Emerson and Isaiah) and 5 adults (including my mom and I) It was so much fun! Emerson and I were in the pool for about 2 hours. He absolutely loves the water, which I’m so thankful for. He was beat afterwards. I put him down for a nap, which ended up lasting over 2 hours! The kids had such a great time too. We made food, had snacks, and just hung out all day. It was awesome!

Yesterday, we had plans to go to the spray park with the clan that came over to swim on Saturday, but we ended up not going. I don’t even want to relay the details because it was absolutely STUPID and myself, my mom, and my sister were all part of the blame. Instead, Emerson and I went home and filled up his pool. I even got in with him. While we were swimming, he flew onto his knees from a sitting position! Gah! Of course, my kid would try to crawl in the pool. I was so caught off guard! He did it a few more times before I could record it, but I did get it the last couple of times he pulled onto his knees. Of course, the version I got was him literally diving! LOL I put him on the floor afterwards, but he wasn’t budging. My sister came over for dinner. We put him back in the pool hoping he’d do it again, but it was a no-go. We’ll keep working on it, but I was so shocked! Anyway, we had pierogies, fish sandwiches, and peas for dinner. Emerson loved it all. We had a good time having auntie over for dinner. Kodie must have had an extra good time because she was absolutely exhausted and slept the entire night. After Britt left, I gave the baby a bath, boob, then bed. He slept pretty much the entire night. I stayed up until 10 and watched my shows. I’m still kind of tired today though.

This morning was a nightmare though. I forgot the Laundromat is closed on Mondays. :FACE PALM: So, I ended up going to another Laundromat, but not having enough change. I could only do one load. I had two. I handpicked through what was the most important to wash. After I get the washer loaded and soaped up, I realize it’s broken! Gah! I had to move everything into another washer. There was soap everywhere. That washer started eating my quarters! I only had enough for that one load. Luckily, it ended up working for me. It just sucks that I’ll end up having to go to the Laundromat another time this week. I was determined to not let that ruin my day though. It was a little chaotic, but I got through it and all of the clothes are in the dryer now.

This week, we don’t have much going on. I hope to grocery shop after work today. If I don’t have time to do a full shop, I’ll just buy the stuff I need for spaghetti tonight for dinner and get the rest tomorrow. I’m going to try to finish up the painting this week. I’ll just paint every night after Em goes to bed. The entire wall is almost painted, so it shouldn’t take me too much longer. Dad is putting carpeting in for me when I’m done with the painting. I just want to make sure it’s all done before I give the green light. That’ll be it for this pay period. Nothing else will be done to it until I get paid again, which is okay. This is just the foundation. I’m excited about it. Alright, that’s about all I have for today. I hope today is extremely boring hahaha I don’t need any more excitement!

MUMMY'S ON THE DECREASE

I know I’ll regret this later, but I skipped going to the Laundromat this morning. Probably not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. We don’t have more than 1 load, but that includes all of my towels!! During his party on Saturday, the kids used a couple of my towels that were hanging in the bathroom. I’m not a household that has 52 towels either. I have about 8 towels and I used all of them within the last week. I have no idea how, but I did. I’ll take a few of my parent’s towels until I do laundry on Sunday. I was just so tired this morning. I knew I was working from home, so I had no big urgency to get up because I had no commute. I only had to take the baby to daycare. He only woke up one time last night too, so that was nice. I slept from about 10-330am and then again from 3:45-5:30. He went to bed at 8:45pm. It was nice semi-sleeping in this morning until 5:30am. I didn’t want to get up. I’m so glad it’s Friday though and we have nowhere to be tomorrow morning!

I changed his bottles today. I spoke with his teacher about it too and she was on the same page as me. She laughed in the middle of me talking about how hard its becoming pumping 20oz just to send to daycare.

“I’m sorry for laughing. I just have been there and I know exactly what you’re going through”

It was nice to hear that. I speak about breastfeeding like everyone is going through it. It’s become a part of me and my life. Most of the time, people just give me weird looks because they can’t relate It’s so nice when someone gets the struggle. Its real! So, I sent 5 4oz bottles instead of 4 5oz bottles. I’m sending the same amount, but I broke it out differently. I also gave them the okay to feed solids at 3pm. He was only getting them at 8 and 11am. I’m hoping he comes home today with an extra bottle. Now, I’ll still pump and try to get 20oz, but knowing I only have to send 16 (if this works the way I think it should) takes the stress off of me. The doctor said she still wants Emerson eating 20oz of breastmilk a day and then obviously eating solids as well. He’ll definitely be getting that if he eats 16oz at daycare and then I nurse on demand at home. Typically, he eats 1 time after daycare, 1 time at bed, and 1 time in the middle of the night. He isn’t eating a lot in the middle of the night, or before bed because I feed solids right before that feeding. I’m sure he’s getting at least 4-5oz between all three of those feedings, so we are on track! I know I sound nuts, but it isn’t the easiest figuring out this damn food intake. I had it figured out, but then when you throw solids in there, it kind of throws you out of whack. I’m not pulling formula from a can. The milk comes from me, so anything I do can affect that supply. That’s why I was so afraid to decrease his bottles down even though I know he’s fine and getting extra from solids. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a petrifying thought thinking your milk supply could diminish in an instant. I’d be absolutely devastated. I’m still going to pump just as much as I was before decreasing, but now I’ll actually have a stock built up. I want to start trying the sippy cup more, but it would be nice if I could put some breastmilk in it. Now, I’ll have that luxury because I’ll have some extra leftover!

So, this is probably TMI, but I don’t care. I started spotting earlier in the week. This happened to me a few other times, but it always went away as quickly as it came on. I have an IUD in place, so my period will probably be scattered from that, but the breastfeeding is supposed to keep it away as well. When I started spotting earlier in the week, I had really bad cramps. Before I got pregnant, I had the easiest periods. I never had cramps either. They were always so light and short. I hope that doesn’t change. The spotting stopped, but it’s been on and off all week with cramps in between (Including now). I also gained 1.8lbs (I know it isn’t that big of a deal). It’s just annoying not knowing if it’s really coming, or going. I haven’t had a period in 17 months! It has been awesome! I know it’ll eventually come back, but I’m hoping the IUD keeps it light and short. Apparently with the Mirena, you don’t even get one every month. You might get one a few times a year. I guess I can deal with that. I’m just not ready for it NOW. To me, getting my period back signifies breastfeeding as slowly losing its power. Again, I know that sounds nuts, but a nursing mother’s brain is wired to think this way. It’s scary though. Thinking how quickly things will change when I’m done nursing. Return of my cycle, weight gain, etc. I better figure something out now! I eat like absolute shit!

So speaking of eating like shit…I’ve had so many leftovers at my house since Saturday after Emerson’s party. I am not one to eat a lot of junk. If I’m splurging, then I’d rather eat fries and a burger over cookies and cake. Well, I can definitely tell I’m pmsing, or something, because I’ve eaten so many cupcakes this week! It’s disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I walked into work on Wednesday, and a woman I work with said to me “Boy, Ashley, every time I see you, you just look thinner” She went on to mention that I’m smaller now than before I got pregnant. I think she thought she offended me and she started apologizing and telling me “I don’t think you look unhealthy. I don’t think it looks bad” “I know you eat very healthy” This made me laugh. I just kept thinking of myself devouring cupcakes in my kitchen all week long. Oh yes, that’s REAL healthy! It gave me a good chuckle, but I do need to slow it down. The last thing I want is to have weight flooding back the second I’m done nursing. He’s dropped a few sessions now too, so I really need to pull back. I just ate some Special K with almond milk for breakfast over my usual pop-tart! See, doing better already!!

My aunt is in town from Erie, so she’s coming to my parent’s house tonight to see the baby. She sent me boxes of gifts when I was pregnant and more presents after he was born. She’s coming over around 4, so I’m picking the baby up from daycare a little bit early. She came in to wedding dress shop with my cousin, who is getting married next year. Aside from that, I just want to wash the garage walls after Emerson goes to sleep, so that I can start painting them tomorrow after bedtime. It’ll probably take me a few days, but that’s okay. I’m just excited to get this project underway. I think I’ll have it completely finished by October. I know, it seems so far off, but I have it divided out to buy the small things that I’m putting in the room. If I could get it all at once, the room could be done now. it’s okay though. I like working for things because it makes me that much prouder when it’s finished  Alright. I hope everyone has a really nice weekend. The weather should be beautiful here, so I’m looking forward to enjoying it outdoors!

Mummy's Big Boy!

My wittle baby is getting so big! He went from 15lbs 10oz to 18lbs 3oz. He grew from 25 inches to 26.5 inches tall. The shots weren’t fun, but he stopped crying after a minute, or so. I felt really bad. That part never seems to get any easier. We have to go back next month for a flu shot. They didn’t have any available. I actually think the doctor was lying though. She mentioned a couple of times that she won’t be seeing Emerson again until he’s 9 months old. If I bring him in between well visits, I get charged a $30 co-pay because it isn’t required, or covered under my plan. I think she wants to see him within the next three months, so she is having us come back for the flu shot separately. As long as I don’t have to pay, then I don’t care! She also said that I can give him 1-2oz of water in a sippy cup after he eats solids. I tried last night, but he’s not quite ready for the cup. I’m not going to push it on him. I’ll offer it, but if he doesn’t want it, then that’s fine. She said he’s ahead of the game with solids, so I can start to try some table food as long as its cut up very small. I’m not sure what I’ll try. I did try to give him a small piece of pancake last weekend, but he wasn’t chewing it up well enough. The piece was as small as a crumb though, but he still gagged. Maybe he just didn’t like it?? My mum thinks eggs would be a good thing to try because they kind of melt in your mouth, but still give him a little bit of something to chew. Does anyone have any suggestions? It would be fun to actually eat WITH him, so what can I make for dinner that we’d both be able to eat? I’d post this to my facebook, but I’m afraid of the backlash. I’m sure I’d be told that I A. shouldn’t give solids B. water is bad C. I am a bad mother for not exclusively breastfeeding. I’m still a little upset over the messages I received after Emerson was sick on Monday. I never seem to get any bad judgment here, so I am all for suggestions! As weird as it sounds, I’ve been waiting for the moment when we can sit down together to have “dinnertime”. When I was pregnant, I honestly cried so many nights knowing I had to eat dinner alone. Maybe it was the hormones, but dinnertime always made me acutely aware of how alone I really was. I lived so far from my parents then, so heading over for dinner wasn’t even an option. It’s nice having that family feeling, especially at dinnertime. I’m sure it seems silly to most, but it really is important to me. I grew up having to sit down to dinner every night with my family, so I want to have the same tradition in my house.

After the doctor’s, we went back to my parent’s house for dinner. Emerson slept on the way home and for about 30 minutes after we got back. I fed him some squash when he woke up. I figured that would hold him over, so we could at least do bath when we got home. When we got home, I put Emerson in his walker. He chased the dog and me around for about an hour, while I did dishes and bottles. He is so funny in the walker! I can’t turn my back for a second though. He tried pulling my curtains down one day. I just play it by ear. If I’m cleaning and running around, I’ll put him in the exersaucer. That way, he can’t go anywhere. If I’m just doing bottles and dishes, then the walker is fine. Most of the time, he chases me around anyway. After some playtime, He was in bed by 8:45. Not too bad. I hung out on the couch with the pup until a little after 10. It’s nice to give Kodie some me-time. I’m so glad the dog and baby get along so well. Kodie is still a little asshole though. She always steals our clothes out of the dirty and clean baskets and she always steals Em’s toys, but she gets along with the baby and he adores her. She isn’t too rough with him either. I always say “go see your brother” and she goes right up to him. It’s hilarious. Emerson screams at the top of his lungs at her. She just looks at him like “what the hell is your problem, dude?” Kodie will be 2 years old on August 24th! I can’t believe I’ve almost had her for 2 years (in November). We’ll most definitely be celebrating with some Frosty Paws! Yum, her favorite!

I ALMOST sent Emerson’s dad the two pictures and stats from the doctor’s appointment yesterday, but refrained. If he wanted to know something, or see pictures, he’d ask. I still firmly believe that he stalks me via the internet. I hate the way facebook is. You can’t make your cover photos private. I like having my cover photo of the baby though. It isn’t like I’m hiding Emerson anyway, but I don’t want someone stealing my photos and passing them along like they took them. I don’t think he’s above doing this either. I can totally see him shopping photos around that I took and pretending like he has a relationship with the baby, which he doesn’t. Even with blocking, anyone can make up a new facebook, search you, and see your cover photo/profile pictures. The only TRUE way to be invisible is to have nothing at all, which I don’t think is fair. I’m not really that concerned about it, but I seriously would be PISSED if someone stole my photos. The only reason I even had the fleeting thought to send something is because I got a paper at the doctors asking me all of these questions about myself and Emerson’s dad. I had to fill out all of this information down to “Is the patient living with his biological mother and father?” “Are the patient’s biological mother and father married?” There were a ton of background health and family history that I couldn’t answer either. I had no problem with leaving the paternal side blank, but sometimes I wonder the importance of that stuff. Genetics, etc. I don’t worry enough to actually ask though. He seems perfect though, so I won’t worry myself.

I think I’m going to change the way Emerson’s bottles are sent to daycare. It’ll make things a little easier on me. Now that he’s eating solids, I should pull back SOME milk. 4 5oz bottles was the norm before he started to eat solids. I still send that amount. Daycare says he isn’t eat many solids because he has this big bottle first. I’m going to change the bottles and reduce them down to 5 4oz bottles. This way, I’m still sending 20oz, but it’s just being sent a different way. He’s having solids at 8am and 11am, so having a 4oz bottle and solids should satisfy him plenty. They’ll have a 5th bottle if he seems a bit hungrier. When I pick him up later on, I’m going to talk to the daycare about this. I don’t mean for them to feed all 5 bottles either. They should work with the 4oz and solids before trying to ram a 5th bottle down his throat. It’ll be nice for me if he starts to eat 16oz of milk with the solids. I’ll still pump the same amount, but having a small stock would be nice. The solids should be relieving me a little bit. I haven’t had that luxury yet. The only reason I’m even worrying about it is because the other day I couldn’t even pump what I usually send. I ended up being short 2oz, so I sent 3 6oz bottles instead of 4 5oz bottles. My body is slowly started to produce a little less, but that’s because of the solids. You produce what you need. I’m hoping if I reduce the bottles to 4oz, then it’ll be a little easier on me when I’m short. If he seems to hate it, then I’ll go right back to the way we are doing it now. Whew. Okay, I’ll update after I’ve tried this out for a few days.

This weekend, I’m painting my basement where I’m setting up Emerson’s playroom. I can’t wait to see what it looks like when it’s all done. I’m anxious to complete it now before winter time. I remember it being really cold down there when we moved in. I can’t remember if it only felt that way because I didn’t have my heat blasting, or what. There is a heater vent right above the area I’m setting up, but I’m sure the insulation isn’t the best down there either. A space heater will probably be sufficient while we are down there. Obviously I wouldn’t leave it on unattended, or on without my supervision. I always feel like I have to defend myself because the first thing I’ll hear is “You do know you shouldn’t leave that on unsupervised,right?” Sorry, I just am really over being talked down to like I’m a completely fucking moron. Okay, I have to go pump now!! Happy Thursday!

Mummy is fired up!

Where to begin?! These past couple of days have been a bit hectic. On Monday, I was in the office working. Emerson was at daycare. I got a call around 2pm that he was running a fever and needed to be picked up. Of course, I couldn’t pick him up. My bus doesn’t start running again until 3:15pm! It sucks! I guess it doesn’t get much use during the day after all of the business people are in town, so they shut that route down until the afternoon when everyone is leaving work. I hurried and called my mom and sister. They both went up to the daycare to pick him up. I was so thankful neither were at work that day. They had to buy diapers and motrin on the way home. Luckily, daycare had an extra bottle left, so they gave them that bottle too. I didn’t get to my parent’s house until 4:30pm. Emerson was sleeping when I got there. My poor baby. He’s been teething again very badly, so I’m pretty sure that’s what’s bothering him. Luckily, he has a doctor’s appointment tonight, so he can be checked out. Because he was sent home from daycare, he wasn’t permitted back for 24 hours. Brittany babysat yesterday. He was a bear! He did sleep from about 9am-1pm, but before and after that, he was just fussy. A motrin/Tylenol combination only does so much. I also gave him some teething tabs. He’s been chewing on everything. Last night, we did bath, boob, and TRIED to do bed. He must have felt better because he was laughing and playing instead of going to sleep. It was fairly early (8pm), so I got us all out of bed and headed back downstairs. I figured I’d let him play awhile. I cleaned, did bottles, packed lunch for today, and got his diaper bag ready. Around 9pm, he started to fuss, so I tried bedtime again. No go. He was all wound up. Around 10, he finally crashed and stayed asleep until 5am. I wasn’t feeling very well last night either. My stomach was really bothering me. I’m really tired today, but just trying to make it through. My mum is going to the doctor with us. I’m not sure if they’ll give him shots considering he had a fever on Monday and Tuesday. He seemed really upbeat this morning though. I sent him to daycare with a dose of motrin in his system, so hopefully I don’t get any more scary calls today! I’m in town, so it will be a definite repeat of Monday.

The sucky thing is teething is forever until he has all of them in. I swear, he will suffer so much, which means I suffer too. I feel bad because I can only do so much for him. I hate it. My pleasant, upbeat baby turns into a monster. Let’s just hope after the top ones come in we get a semi break from teething. I thought we’d get a break after the bottom two were in. Boy, was I wrong! It seems like they are just piggy backing on top of each other. Maybe that’s the way to go. Suffer for a while, get them all in, and then finally get a decent break. We will see how this goes, but I can tell you, it is NOT fun! The random call from daycare really threw me through a loop. My friend and I were just chatting about that scenario right before it happened! I said I wasn’t too worried about it. Boy, did I become worried REAL quick! Thank God my mum has a carseat base in her case and dad didn’t take her car that day! We are now taking the base out of her car just in case. The carseat is always left at daycare now, so having that piece won’t be an issue. The issue will occur when he’s no longer in a carrier and I’m not taking the actual carseat into daycare. We’ll just make sure we get a second carseat for my parent’s car.

I was really annoyed yesterday. I understand that yes, I am a first time mother, so I take things a bit more seriously. The concerns I have, or the things that rile me up the most, aren’t necessarily a big deal to parents with more experience. A lot of parents do not think a fever is a big deal, or a baby being sent home from daycare. Well, I do. It really pisses me the fuck off when someone talks to me like I’m stupid. I wasn’t asking for a diagnoses, advice, or anything when I posted on my facebook that A. He had a fever B. He was sent home from daycare C. I was thankful of my mom and sister for picking him up. Nowhere in that statement did I ask for someone to diagnose my child, or to tell me that it really isn’t that big of a deal. Well, yes it is, mother fucker. He has NEVER had a fever, so of course, it scared me. I watched my nephew seizure so many times from fevers as a baby. One time, he literally dropped on the beach, seizured, stopped breathing, and turned blue. The entire family is absolutely scarred from that situation, so when we hear fever, we see seizure. Additionally, it is a big mother fucking deal that he isn’t permitted at daycare for 24 hours AFTER being sick. I have a job, bitches. I need to make money to provide for my child. I don’t see you assholes out there busting your hump! I am NOT a stay at home mom, while my husband goes out working all day. I work, I take care of the baby, and I fucking do it all, so you can pretty much go fuck yourselves. It IS A BIG FUCKING DEAL WHEN I AM STUCK IN TOWN AND CAN’T PICK MY CHILD UP. This is the shit that a single mother has to deal with. I am so sick and tired of people writing my shit off like I am making a big stink out of nothing. The craziest is I have a sunny disposition 99% of the time. The biggest compliment I receive from people is how pleasant and upbeat I am. Well, I don’t like to dwell. My son is freaking amazing and makes me so happy! I hear all of these mothers bitching and moaning all of the time and complaining WHEN THEY HAVE HELP AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I don’t know how you do it yourself, Ashley” is what I hear all of the time
“Yea, I don’t know why you’re fucking complaining!” is what I say when I hear this all the time in my head

It is so insane to me. The people who think they know it all are typically the ones who complain the most, but have help at home!! Okay, that was my rant for the day. I am so sick of it though. I am a really good mom and I am doing the absolute best that I can. I just can’t stand when people sit on their high fucking horses and act like I am stupid and don’t know what the hell I am doing. If I needed advice, or help, I’d fucking ask. I’m not too proud to say “I just don’t’ know”, but I’d ask my pediatrician before I asked any of those mother fuckers who claim to know it all, WHICH I did call the ped 2 minutes AFTER the daycare called me, so yeah, go fuck yourself.

Sidebar: I saw a really hilarious post on Instagram one day about not liking to swear, but needing those words to make your point be heard. So, while I don’t really like to swear, especially now that I have a baby, it is absolutely valid in this situation…so if you don’t like it, DON’T FUCKING READ IT! I feel so much better now!

Anyway, my little bubs is feeling much better. I hope that he has a better day today. I’m going to take a half day on Friday, so we can hopefully log some pool time. I plan on working 6am-10am, which won’t be too bad. He won’t have to go to daycare either. It’ll be nice to have some mommy/Emerson time and to extend the weekend a bit. Okay, that’s all I have for today.

CAMP EMERSON!

Camp Emerson was a success! On Friday, my sister came over after she was done working at 10:15pm. Emerson was snoozing and in bed already, so her and I worked on decorating and making all of the food. We made the executive decision to set everything up indoors. Thank God we did! It POURED halfway through the party! Luckily, the kids had about 2 hours to play outside on the slip n slide and in the pool before it rained. It turned out so amazing. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day! The décor was absolutely gorgeous and so adorable! I really outdid myself. I better step up my game for his first birthday party. Everyone can’t wait to see what I come up with for that! I have some pretty good ideas circulating already.

My favorite piece of décor was the indoor tent that I created using gauzey white curtains. It looked so adorable! Additionally, I cut out green pine trees and taped them all over the tent. I called it “The forest”. It was so cute. I filled it with a ton of pillows. The kids loved it! I also set up a “fire” in front of the tent using my fire pit and red/yellow tissue paper. ADORABLE! I put tea lights in clear jars to resemble “fireflies” and also had twinkle Christmas lights set out to create stars. It created such a beautiful glow in the living room!

The food and drink came out amazing too. I made potato salad, pepperoni casserole, “dirt” dessert, hot dogs, buffalo chicken dip, baked beans, and set up a s’mores bar. It was adorable with my food tent labels and big camping signs. To go along with that, I made bug juice (fruit punch) and creek water (lemonade iced tea), which I put in two adorable glass drink dispensers. I set out a jar of goldfish crackers aka catch of the day. My mom brought a cake for Emerson to smash and cupcakes for all of the kids. Emerson didn’t eat any of the cake, but he had a blast tearing into it! He got a sink bath when he was done to clean off all of the cake!

The kids had such a good time on the slip n slide and in the little pool that I set up. I’m so glad we decided to still put out chairs and a couple of small tables in the yard. It felt very cramped inside of my house once we had half of the guests there. I started to get nervous, but it panned out well once the kids migrated outside and some of the adults too. In totality, we ended up with about 15 kids and 15 adults. Emerson received so many books! I can’t wait to build a little library for him. I am so grateful to have such amazing people in our lives. I made a note that gifts weren’t required because the party was more for the kids to just come and have a good time, but if anyone insisted, they could bring a book (new or used). Everyone was overly generous and brought more than one book and even gifts outside of books. My best friend bought him a sippy cup! I’m anxious to give that a try! My parents, in true amazing fashion, came with a huge gift bag filled with diapers, wipes, toys, and books. I love them to pieces for doing that and bringing something that helps me out.

Now, let’s talk about Emerson. He was such an angel during the whole party. He didn’t fuss at all! He had a great time. I felt like I barely saw him because everyone kept stealing him from me! He looked adorable in his Camp Emerson shirt too. He smashed right into his cake and went to town! We tried to give him a little taste of it, but he was more interested in digging his hands into it. I love him so much! He is just such a ham! After the party, we had to go to my parent’s house to pick the dog up. I was way too afraid someone would let her out, so I took her over to their house before the party started. We hung out for a bit, but I was beat! My entire house was a wreck too. We went home and went to bed though. I saved the cleaning until Sunday. 80 minutes later, my whole house was back to normal!

After the house was clean, we went to my parent’s for a bit. My sister and I took Emerson to the mall to walk around because it was a little rainy again. We didn’t feel like sitting around, so we went to the mall and window shopped. I spent $3 on an owl puffy vest for Emerson. I saw it a few months ago, but it was $17.95. $3 was way too good of a bargain to pass up, so I bought it for him. Afterwards, we went to babys r us just to look around. We went back to my parent’s house for a little bit, then headed home. Emerson played in his walker (Thank you Auntie JOJO!) for a long time before I put him down for a nap. Now, I thought he was only going to nap for a little bit, but he ended up sleeping until 1am! I stayed up until 10pm, then went up to bed. I fed Em at 1am and around 330am. I finally woke him around 6am for daycare.

We don’t have too much going on this week. Tomorrow, I’m working from home, but Britt is babysitting Emerson. On Friday, I’m taking a half day, but working from home. Emerson isn’t going to daycare. We need to do laundry on Friday, so I’ll see if Britt wants to come with us after I’m done working. I’m hoping the weather is nice, so we can log some pool time. We haven’t swam in a few weeks! The weather is awful. Now, the water is going to be freezing. I’m hoping it’s hot enough his week that by the time Friday rolls around, the water isn’t that cold. We’ll see. As far as the weekend, we have no real plans. It would be nice to go to the park too. I’m sure we’ll squeeze that in somewhere. This past weekend was so busy. It’ll be nice to just relax with my baby!

I totally forgot to mention that Emerson has his 6 month check-up and shots on Wednesday! I put him on the scale with me the other day and I think he weighs around 18lbs. We will definitely see on Wednesday though. I’m so excited to see how he’s grown! I’m going to ask the doctor about water and at what point should the milk be supplementing solids instead of the other way around. Also, Emerson hasn’t bit me AT ALL since I last blogged. I’m so glad! Maybe he realized it wasn’t okay when I said “NO” and unlatched him?? I don’t care what made him stop. I’m just glad that it hasn’t happen again! Ouch! That really hurt!

How is mummy doing? I barely ask, or answer this question. I seem to forget about myself most of the time. Today, I am wearing a shirt that has a huge hole in the elbow, messy hair, and dress capris that are entirely too big. I look like a real mess, but I’m glad I’m dressed and didn’t miss the bus this morning. Otherwise, I am doing well. Just busy and on the go as usual. I’m happy though. The happiest I have been in YEARS, which is really amazing considering I’m doing the hardest job ever (being a mum, duh!). I literally have 14 cents in my bank account and still smiling, so that must tell you all something! We have everything we need though, so we will be fine until I get paid on Friday. I have so many leftovers from his party too, which is awesome because I made all of the food and it tastes amazing! (tooting my own horn!)

Now that the party is over, my next project is putting together a play room for Emerson. I have an entire theme picked out already. It’s going to be all clouds and very cheap to put together. It’ll take me awhile. I think I have it projected out through October, but that’s okay. It’ll be worth it in the end. We need some more space. He is very mobile now, so having a designated area to play in will be nice. I’m a pretty thrifty person, so I’m hoping that works in my favor! Okay, I am wrapping this up now. I hope everyone has a good, but fast week!

Mummy's bad weather

Well, happy hour was fun, but not what I expected. My expectations were to have an explosion of fun, but it was more mellow. It took me nearly an hour to drive down with traffic, which makes me rethink things. I definitely won’t be doing that again. The commute made the entire experience not worth it. I left the house at 3:50pm. I got to happy hour at 4:45pm. I stayed until 6:45pm. Within that two hour period, I had 1 beer. It took me that long to drink it! It was nice to catch up with everyone, but I probably won’t be doing that again unless I am already in town, or it’s closer to home. I didn’t get to my parent’s house until about 7:25pm. The baby was sleeping in his swing when I got there. My sister said he was a bit fussy, but that he had slept pretty much the entire time. We stayed until almost 8:30pm. Emerson slept for about 45 minutes longer after I got back, so I didn’t want to wake him. After he woke though, I packed up our stuff and headed home for a bath. We ended up delaying bath by 45 minutes because I was chatting on the phone with my cousin. Her baby will be a year old in October. It’s nice having someone else in the family with a small baby. She’s coming to Emerson’s party on Saturday too! I can’t wait to see them! Anyway, after bath, Emerson had dinner, the boob, then bed. He only woke up one time last night around 1:30am. Not too bad. I’m hoping that’s a good sign that we’re getting back to some normalcy.

Today, I drove into work, so that Johanna can put all of the baby stuff that she brought me into my car. We’re going to run down around 12:30pm. I hope it all fits! I’m kind of nervous. If not, she’ll have to take some stuff back with her, which I’ll feel bad about doing. I’m excited to see what she brought though! I hope she brought a walker. I know Emerson would absolutely love using one! He is so mobile. It makes me sad though. Last night, he kept trying to wiggle out of my arms. He didn’t want to be held. When he was teeny tiny, all I wanted was for him to get bigger because I thought it would be easier. Now, I just miss my little baby so much! He didn’t bite me at all when he nursed last night. I could actually relax for once and it was nice just being able to hold him. That’s about the only time he really wants to be held now. He’s so curious about everything. It’s neat to watch, but still very bittersweet. I’m happy that we still have nursing at least. I’ll be really sad when he’s weaned and we lose that time together.

Okay, enough of that sad talk. He is developing and growing so well, so that’s all that really matters. Yes, I’d love for him to stay my sweet little boy, but he’s ready to be on the go! Anyway, I hope she brought a walker, so that I can plop him in it while I clean and get things ready for his party tomorrow. Can you believe it’s tomorrow already?! I feel like I’ve been planning this thing for months. In reality, it’s only been about 1.5 months of planning. I hope it all looks really cute. I have to get chairs and a table from my parent’s house. I’m hoping my sister can put some stuff into her car before work and then drive it over tonight. I’m hoping to get Emerson to bed by 915pm. That way, if he does wake up, hopefully it isn’t until after I go to bed. I really want Britt and I to be able to cook all of the food tonight and potentially set up the table and chairs in the yard.

After work, I’m going home to unload my car, let Kodie out, then going to pick Emerson up and running to the grocery store. I have to get a couple of last minute things. I need to go over my list to make sure I don’t forget anything! The last thing I want to have to do is to run out tomorrow. There are showers and thunderstorms in the forecast for tomorrow. If we do have to move the party inside, I’ll just cut it short. I can set it up really cute still, but it’ll definitely be crammed. So far, it looks like there is a 50% chance of rain during the day and an 80% chance of rain that night. The party is 4-8pm. LOL I am guessing this is going to be an indoor event, but I’ll hold out hope that I’m wrong. Britt and I can mess around to see how we can rearrange and set up for there to be room for everyone. I’m thinking as long as we can hang out a bit, feed everyone, sing happy birthday to Emerson, and open gifts, that’ll be good. It doesn’t have to be a 4 hour deal. We can try to rush through and be done with it in three. I hate to think that way, but rain is just going to kill the mood here. I don’t want to move the entire party. The same forecast is predicted for Sunday too. I just worry about the kids. What the heck will they do for three hours?? Maybe I can organize some crafts, or something. At least that’ll occupy them somewhat. Outside of that, eating, cake, and presents they might be occupied enough before boredom sets in. We were having water balloons and a slip n slide, but if it rains, that’s obviously off the table. I’ll talk to her about this later, but hopefully we can use the yard for most of the day before the rain sets in. Cross your fingers…and toes.

Alright, I guess I will let you guys know how this turns out! I hope well!