I haven’t updated in forever and I’m sorry! I’m so crazy busy though! I swear, I never have five minutes. Anyway, I didn’t get that job even though I had to interviewed THREE times for the darn thing. Unreal, but it is what it is. I wasn’t even upset when I was told. I honestly think that it might have been too much with Em still being so small. I think I would have handled it fine, but having to seek out help would have been difficult for me. I hardly ask for help as it is and the times that I do, I HATE it. Staying put seems like a better idea for right now. When the time is appropriate, I’ll consider attempting to look elsewhere. In the meantime, I’m happy here. What irks me most is that I wasn’t even seeking an opportunity out. They came to ME and asked ME to apply. What a waste of my time.
Emerson’s 3rd birthday is on Sunday. Where the heck did the time go? I decided to forgo the plans of the indoor pool and to just have a birthday party for him instead. The cost just made more sense to do a small, family party. Plus, it gives me great joy to party plan and decorate, so it was a win-win. His theme is “Young, Wild, and Three”. We’re going with black, white, and gold décor. I’m very excited about it. It’s going to be really simple, but I think once its all put together, it’ll look like I really put some time and effort into it. I have a lot to do though, so I better move my butt. I need to create/hang a background, make a couple of banners, make miniature party hats, a cake stand, and a few other odds and ends. The party is going to be extremely small. It’s just my parents, sisters, nephew, and Tim (boyfriend). I don’t think I’ve actually typed his name in my blog yet. That was strange. Anyway, it’ll be very small, but I’m holding back on inviting friends from school until at least next year. He Why not save money while I can?
Other than that, things are going very well. I’m so busy at work. It’s incredible. This is our busiest time of year, so I’ve been crushed. It’s exhausting, but I know the light is at the end of the tunnel. This are going so well with Tim! It’s very refreshing and nice to have someone NORMAL in my life who is extremely supportive, patient, understanding, and absolutely amazing. I hope this never changes. I know it’ll fade eventually, but I hope that everything that I am seeing now is still there. He is so great with Em, which is extremely important to me. We will see how that relationship develops as time goes on. From my perspective though, I think he’s a really great person and I feel lucky to have stumbled upon him. This weekend will be the first time that he meets my parents. Hopefully this goes well. I mean, I want them to like him, but honestly, I’m old enough now that it isn’t that much of a factor for me. I make my own decisions and if I like him and Emerson likes him, then that’s all that matters. I feel like they are going to LOVE him though, so that’s a good thing.
I worked out during naptime yesterday and at 4am this morning. I’m already sore. My eating has been absolutely on point, but I haven’t been working out, so it’s time to marry the two. I feel pretty good. Once I get over this initial hump, it’ll be easier. It’s always very hard re-starting. I look forward to not feeling like crap though and looking better! It’s just a hard balance. I don’t see Tim very often. On average, probably one time during the week, and MAYBE once over the weekend. I don’t feel that he should be there nightly because Emerson still needs his mom. I hardly get to see Em during the week because of work, so when we get home at night, it’s nice to just spend time together without other distractions. I already have to divide my attention with dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc, so adding another person into the mix feels like I’m short-changing him. Trying to add in working out is an entirely new obstacle. On nights that Tim comes over, I won’t have time to work out , so working out in the morning seems like the best solution, but that means a 4am wake-up call. Em goes to bed a little bit later now, so working out after he goes to bed sucks. By the time I’m done, it’s almost 10pm. I’m trying to fit this all in and to be fair to all sides and to myself. It’s not easy, but I think I’m doing pretty good. On Saturday, Tim came over for dinner. While dinner cooked, we took a walk with Emerson. It was REALLY nice and a nice way to all spend time together without being stuck in the house. He also tried to teach Em how to ride his bike. We had no success in that department. I’m hoping he picks it up before summertime. It’s really nice though to have someone to spend time with outside of Em. I don’t mean that in a crappy way either. Em is my entire world and no one will ever come above him, but having someone I can talk to and who supports me is so nice! This is something that I have not had…well…really ever.
Something strange happened last night, which I wasn’t even going to write about, but here it goes. My “best friend” blocked me on Facebook. I posted a status about fair weather Steeler fans. The Steelers played the AFC game last night and my entire newsfeed was bombarded with people acting like they had watched game after game the entire season. I mean, it was kind of unreal. The commentary during the game was even more comical. I know most of these people have not watched ANY games all season, but were throwing a fit over calls, and over them losing. Imagine if you had invested an entire season into the team and they had lost that close to being in the super bowl. I just thought it was funny that these people were acting like it was the end of the world when I know they only jumped on the bandwagon because it seemed like the “cool” thing to do. I even called my own sister out. She was prepping for the game with food, drinks, and her Steeler shirt. I know she hasn’t supported that team all season, but she was posting like she was some die-hard fan. She didn’t get upset about it. She laughed and said “yep, you’re right”. Let me make note that I was never implying that my friend was one of these fair weather fans. I don’t think she’s a fair weather fan at all, but she took the time to comment on MY status defending herself. If you have to defend yourself, then you are probably guilty of what I posted. Before I could even respond that my status didn’t apply to her, she blocked me. Really? Over that?! Grow up. If that’s how she wants to behave, then I don’t even need friends like that. She has been very strange since she moved away. A few months ago, she messaged MY friend and asked if her status was about me talking about her. How weird is that?! It felt very SWF. I don’t get her and I am really sick of it. She is one of those narcissistic people that anytime you post anything, she reads it with herself in mind. Not everything is about her, even though she thinks it is. We have been friends for 17 years. Maybe it’s just run its course. I can never tell her anything anyway. I can never confide in her, or really be candid with her because she is extremely judgmental. A best friend should be able to hear anything, but I’m so guarded already with her. What is the point? I wouldn’t have blocked her though. I was fine with the type of friendship we had. We catch up, we see what is going on in each other’s lives, and we saw her when she visited. We call sometimes. We text sometimes. That is normal to me. I did think it was a bit harsh to block me. She could have kept scrolling. My post was a tag of myself and Emerson watching The Secret Life of Pets. I mentioned that we weren’t watching the Steeler game and that I thought it was funny that people were coming out of the woodwork pretending to be die-hard fans. If you know that’s not you, then why are you commenting? It just seems unreal that she blocked me for THAT. I’m sorry, but that is psychotic. My feelings are definitely hurt, but what can I really do? I’m not going to message her, or even try to have a conversation about it either. She can figure it out for herself. I’m pretty much sick of it.
I think she thinks that we should all be kissing her butt because she moved to Arizona from Pittsburgh. Why? That was a choice she made. I am happy here. I am so sick of it being rubbed in my face that it’s warm there year round and she “got out”. Got out of what? You have no friends where you live and none of your blood relatives are there. Yes, you have your husband’s family, but you never see your sisters, nieces, or nephews. Why would I be mad about still being in Pittsburgh where my entire world is? I love it here. I hate snow, but we only suffer a little bit. Most of the year is relatively nice. I’d rather have our weather than 109 degree temps to where you can’t even step foot outside. We make our own choices. I’m not STUCK here by any means. It’s a choice and one that I am HAPPY with. We all choose our own paths. I don’t think it makes someone better than anyone else though, especially uprooting your entire family. To be honest, this is a very livable city. There are countless things to do. Her comment yesterday, of course, stated the obvious. “I don’t post every time I watch a game, but we miss a lot of regular seasons games because we live in Arizona” Yes, again, we are all aware that you live in Arizona. I am aware that you watch the games. I wasn’t referring to you. Sit down. She will comment, or post anything just to make sure we are all aware of her geographical location. Completely unnecessary to A. Comment B. Block me. C. #byefelicia
Alright, I have to let this go because it will eat at me and I don’t want that to happen. Have a great week, all!!
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