Monday, March 14, 2016

Super annoyed with this shit

So, I spoke with the behavioral therapist after she observed Emerson for two days. She said most of his behavior could be chalked up to the fact that he is two. She said she had a really hard time with this case because of his age and it was hard to decipher if there was an actual issue, or if it was just typical two year old behavior. To me, her observations didn’t provide a definitive enough reason for me to move forward with early intervention. While I appreciate the services that are provided,  I don’t feel that I need to take them away from someone else who might really need them at this time. It is comforting to know that they are in there should something arise. The behavior they have an issue with is ridiculous. They say he is busy and always moving. He is loud at times. He also likes to climb and run. Really? I mean, to me this is not BAD, or concerning behavior. The specialist did make remarks that the center is poorly laid out and when she was there, she had to step in quite a few times to grab kids who were climbing up the bookcases. She said this wasn’t just specific to Emerson. All of the children were doing it. Okay?? So why am I going through all of this? Her and I both agreed that with a little tweaking, the center could alleviate most of the headaches they get daily by constantly correcting the children to stop climbing. She let the center know that I had declined further services.

When I picked Emerson up on Friday, I was met with the most condescending attitude ever! The assistant director was working in the toddler room. When I walked in, I said “Hi” like I usually do. She is usually much cheerier and nicer to me than she was. She had a serious attitude. I saw Emerson who looked like he lost his best friend. I asked him what was wrong, and the assistant director responded with “he has a fever”. Okay? Why are you giving me major attitude over this? On Wednesday, they called me at 4:59pm, which was ten minutes before I usually pick him up. They said he had a fever and couldn’t come back the next day. Obviously, I was  not excited about this. He stayed with my sister on Thursday, while I went to work. I left work early to take him to the pediatrician where I was told he had no fever and he just had a common cold. Fine. I took him to daycare on Friday. He had no fever at drop off, but I guess he started to feel down somewhere during the day. They never called me, or anything. It’s not like I purposely sent him to the center with a fever. I think she was annoyed because I declined early intervention. She is the one that was pushing me into it during parent/teacher conferences. I just feel as though they are constantly sending him home and banning him for the next day due to fevers because they are overwhelmed and don’t want to deal with him. I have been getting this impression A LOT lately. I usually do not say anything at all, but I am really tired of this. Every single day I feel so much stress that they are going to call me to send him home, not allow him back the next day, or just tell me something outlandish. I will tell you this much too. Those other kids are just as wild. I know the teachers are overwhelmed because they tell me. They complain about their lack of wages too. It’s very unprofessional. I realize they probably think they can speak candidly to me, but they really cannot. I know I am very friendly and I speak to them like we are on a friend level, but this is my child. You still have to remain professional and treat me respectfully. They treat me as though they are MY customer. I sent a big email to the director. She is NEVER there. I literally never see her. I see her more at Giant Eagle than I do at the center. I hope she takes what I said seriously. I just need some peace of mind. I am so sick of battling this daily.

Emerson had no fever all weekend, or this morning. He still has a lingering cough, but that’s it. I hope we have no issues this week. I miss the good ol days when they seemed excited to see him at the center. I don’t know anymore. I feel so freaking lost and I don’t even know what to do. The kid isn’t perfect by any means. Yes, he disobeys and tests his limits, but aren’t they supposed to be doing these things?

We did have a nice weekend though. My sister and I set up a St Patrick’s Day brunch. We had a really nice time. Emerson ended up taking a nap for about 2 hours, while we were there, which meant I could hang out and be an adult. We were out most of the day.  On Sunday, I took Emerson to The Children’s Museum. We had such a great time! He was so well behaved too, not that I need to point that out, but he was. He ended up falling asleep in the car on the way home and took a nice nap when we actually got home. Later that day, we went grocery shopping. Moving the clocks ahead royally screwed with me. When it was 7:25pm, it was really only 6:25pm, therefore I knew it would be too early to put him to bed, but I did it anyway. I don’t think he fell asleep for a while. I could hear him in his room. I’m happy to be back to normal time today. It sucks that it’s so much lighter out now when he goes to bed, but I did my best to black his room out, so it doesn’t throw us off too much.

This week, we don’t have much planned at all. I’m okay with that. Hopefully we can get some outside playtime if the rain holds off. Next Wednesday, the Easter Bunny will be at the skating rink to skate with the kids. I want to take Emerson. He really enjoyed going skating before, so I thought that would be a nice idea. On Saturday, there is an Easter Egg hunt that we’re going to. It’s free and near my parent’s house, so we can stop over to visit when we’re done. I already got everything for his basket. I just got a few things. Nothing crazy. A book, some m&ms, a couple of spring outfits. He doesn’t really need much. I might add a couple of small things, but I’m not going crazy. He has so much stuff he barely even plays with now. Why add to the pile?

Today marks my third week into clean eating and working out. The changes I’ve made in this short time are amazing. I feel so much better about myself again. I don’t know why, but I am not having a hard time staying on this clean eating trail either. I haven’t craved anything bad, which is good because that just makes life miserable.  It feels good to be back to it and to be so dedicated. I missed this so much. The program I am doing is a 60 day cycle. I should finish up around May 1st. I’ll be fully summer ready by then, but what worries me is feeling burnt out after these 60 days are up and back sliding before June. I do love living this way, working out, and eating healthy, but I get burnt out too. I plan on doing the 30 day cycle of my program when I’ve finished with this first 60 day round. I’m hoping that I can remain hardcore until June 1st, so that when all of the cookouts, etc roll around, it won’t matter so much if I slack off a bit on the diet portion. I’m going to start running again at least 2 days a week too, so that should keep be where I want to be regardless if I start back sliding with nutrition. I don’t plan on eating like crap, or anything either. I just know how it goes. I am so dedicated for such a long period of time that I need a break. Those breaks are when everything starts going downhill again.  It is fun to see the change happen though. I’m really enjoying it a lot. More than I enjoyed all of the crappy food I ate from November thru February!

Alright, back to the grind. Have a great week, All!

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