Mummy's drama

I haven’t blogged in so long. I have so much to update on too. I’ll try to keep it short. This is going to be VERY random too, so bear with me.

Let’s start with the worst. I talked to my mom on the phone on Saturday morning. She was crying, and really upset. Her and my dad got into an argument over the electric bill, which lead to a screaming match. My dad apparently called my mom fat. I don’t condone this at all. I was very upset when my mom told me this, especially because of how I am now with being proud of your body, etc. Her and I ended our phone conversation. That was the last I heard from her that day. Well, until she completely went NUTS on me! My sister and I took the kids down to the point. It was nice just being down at the water and hanging out. Em was a little nutty though. I had to keep super close watch because he kept running full steam near the water. It was scary, therefore I did not have my phone in hand. It was tucked away in the stroller. Apparently, my mom called me. I had no idea. I would never purposely NOT answer the phone. She ended up calling my sister, who answered the phone in front of me. My mom was talking so much crap on me saying she is ALWAYS there for me when I call (lie, she never answers the phone), blah blah. Okay, psycho path. So, I just let it go. It’s absurd that she’d think I didn’t answer the phone on purpose. Apparently, she was leaving my dad and wanted to come stay at my house. My sister got off the phone, and we continued on our day. We let the kids run around the point for a while, and Emerson even got to see a fire truck when we were down there. (he loved it). All of a sudden, I start getting these horrific text messages from my mom. It was absolutely appalling. Anyway, we left the point and headed to take my nephew to his other aunt’s house (his dad’s sister). While we were driving, I saw my mom. We decided to follow her to see what the heck she was doing. She ended up at my aunt’s house. I rolled my window down and said “Um, mum. What are you doing?” She lashes out AGAIN. It was unreal. Yelling like that in front of the kids too. UNCOOL! I didn’t even respond. I just rolled up my window, and drove off.

After we dropped Isaiah off, I called my dad. I didn’t want him to hear any of the conversation. Em doesn’t understand yet, so I knew it was okay having him there. Dad told me that mum went nuts. She started drinking (my mom doesn’t even drink), then threw all of the food out of the freezer onto the floor. She apparently trashed the house. Dad said he left. He was afraid of what might happen if he stayed there, so he grabbed some stuff, and was heading to a job site. He said he just can’t take it anymore. He said that he shouldn’t have called her fat, but it was two days of pure torture, and he couldn’t take it anymore. I’m sure it was super embarrassing for him to have to answer to me. He said he didn’t want to involve any of us either, so he was super annoyed that my mom did. He was even more mad that she was mad at me! I offered for him to come stay at my house, but he declined. He said he’d go back home before he imposed on me and Em. Later that night, he texted letting me know that they were both back home.

I have no idea what is going on now. My mom hasn’t said a word to me, which is pretty typical. She is so crazy that she really thinks I rejected her phone calls on purpose, and is now so ticked off at me. I can’t take the level of crazy. I seriously cannot. I am not even bothering with her. She’s made such an embarrassment of herself.  She always pulls this shit on me too. Never on my sisters. She won’t talk trash to them about them either. She has no problem doing it to me though. I’m just sick of it. Emerson and I didn’t go over there yesterday for our weekly visit. This morning, I went to the laundromat instead of there to do our laundry too. Dad texted this morning to say I love you and to have a good day. He must feel bad that mum is shunning me still. I’m sure he’s sad we didn’t come visit this week, but I just can’t deal with it. I don’t have negativity in my life and it feels amazing. I don’t want problems with my family. It’s too damn much. She needs to get her shit together though. I don’t know what her problem is. She was doing so well, losing weight, and getting  healthy, then fell off the wagon. She was down 11lbs in three weeks. That was like 2 weeks ago. Ever since she fell off, she’s been super miserable. Well, get back on! I think that’s half of her problem. Then, dad calling her fat probably sent her over the edge.  It’s no excuse though. I can’t stand to be disrespected. That’s something I just don’t tolerate anymore. I don’t disrespect others, and no one disrespects me.

Okay, so now let’s move on. Remember when I said I was ready to date? Well, I don’t even know if I feel that way anymore. Let me go back to that story. There is a guy that I met about a year ago. He bought my friend’s mom’s house. They all loved him so much, so my friend thought it might be a good fit for me. Good job, healthy, active, non-drinker, etc. We started to talk a little bit, but it was just all the wrong time for me. I was still fumbling through breastfeeding, taking care of Em, the house, work, financial stuff, etc. I just wasn’t at a point where I even wanted to text someone. It was too much. Plus, this guy seemed a bit too serious for me. He was talking about meeting Em. Oh hell naw. It was just too much for me, so I stopped talking to him. I politely let him know why, and we remained facebook friends. Anyway, he is now in my support group that houses all of my BeachBody customers. He is an advid runner, and works out daily. He didn’t purchase anything under me yet, but he does use the programs, so I sent him a message asking if he’d like to switch to me as his coach to be included in our group. Of course, he said yes. He has great group participation, gives great feedback and advice, and is pretty good about posting. It’s helpful when you have people that do like participating. It keeps the group moving, which motivates people. Anyway, we started to talk via the group. Then, he set up a team for me for the color run, which I thought was nice. He didn’t seem nearly as creepy as I had remembered, so I thought maybe I was just super critical back then because I was tired, and had a lot on my plate. Now, I manage a lot better. I have some time logged under my belt, so I am in a routine. I decided, what the hell, I’ll ask him if he wants to go running with me. He does marathons, and I’m trying to break into that. It would be nice to have someone push me a little. I remember him being so overbearing before, but he wasn’t being overbearing now. He was being really normal, and cool about it. So, we went running on Friday. It was great. He was great to talk to, pushed me to run further than I ever have, and I thought he was cute. Awesome. Someone with the same interests as me that isn’t a creeper. 

He did start to text me A LOT right after we were done running, which sent up a red flag, but I still tried to be optimistic. The texts just had no rhyme, or reason. I was at work too, which was even more annoying. He would just text me with anything random. I don’t have a lot of extra time on my hands to talk to someone. When I do, I’d like for it to count. Do we really need to text all day with small talk? It was stupid shit too like “I might eat chicken for dinner” Okay? And I care because?? I know, it doesn’t seem like that BIG of a deal, but we barely know each other, and you know I’m a busy mom. Respect that, back off, and later on try to have a REAL conversation with me. I was busy at work, so I didn’t answer his texts. I looked at my phone a while later and saw a slew of them. Him asking me if I am busy,  then saying “Wow, you must be really busy today” Jeez, guy. Back the f up. I just went running with you two hours ago. CHILL.

So, that’s how it pretty much continued ALL weekend. It was so irritating. Randomness all the time, then he made a comment about hanging out with me and Em. Okay, guy. I see now why you are single and in your 30’s. I just can’t deal with that. I’ve been single for a few years now. It’s so nice to not have to deal with that kind of stuff. I just felt like I was confined to my phone, and having to answer these non-sensical text messages all damn day. No quality in conversation at all. Just irritating. So then, when I didn’t answer him, he started to comment and like everything on my facebook, and Instagram. Then, he texted me and said “I just liked 6000 of you Instagram pics” OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop it! This morning, he texted me and told me to message him anytime today. It doesn’t matter what time. Um, dude. Leave me alone now. I wrote back and said “You’re teetering into creeper territory” He wrote back “Sorry. I’ll shut up” Oy. I just can’t deal with someone that clingy. We go running one time, and he is acting like we are joined at the hip. I need someone who gets that I have other stuff to do. It’s cool if you want to text me to say “hey, what’s up”, but I don’t feel like sitting there texting someone all day. I already have to answer messages and comments for BeachBody all day. I don’t want to add more phone time to that. I just need someone to be confident and secure enough with themselves to know that if I’m not talking to you, it doesn’t mean I don’t like you anymore. It just means I am busy right now, and I will get at you later. I’ve been independent for so long too. I like it because I don’t have to answer to anyone. The problem is, I don’t think he’s just going to go away. I am going to have to TELL HIM what’s up. I hate being mean to people, but I just cannot take it anymore.

At least I know what I don’t want. I think that’s always been my battle, which is why I’ve dated a lot of crappy people in my life. The best part is I can be picky because dating isn’t a NEED for me. I don’t NEED anyone like I used to think I did. I can just enjoy it and choose who I want. If someone doesn’t fit, then that’s okay. They don’t have to fit. I just don’t like having to tell someone that I don’t like them. I mean, I feel bad, but maybe it’ll help him in the future. Don’t scare off girls by being so damn creepy.

Okay, outside of all of that, everything is good. I’m just working crazily on BeachBody on top of work, Em, and house stuff. It’s been a busy couple of weeks. I’m working out, and running more than ever. I just did 4 miles, which was amazing. I’m registered to do the color run on my sister’s birthday, which will be a blast. I can’t wait! I need to get my eating back on track. I haven’t eaten bad at all, but I haven’t really eaten enough, or enough of the right stuff. I’ve had one too many lean cuisine meals because we needed something quick. Those are not on my list as a regular item I’d like to consume, but if it comes down to that, or fastfood, I’ll take the lean cuisines. I’m grocery shopping after work today though, so that’ll take care of that. Food prep will be tonight, and I’ll work out on my lunch break today.

Alright. This is so long. “I’ll shut up now” Sorry, I couldn’t resist!