Yesterday was just so ridiculous. I picked Emerson up at 5:05pm from daycare. When I walked in, they let me know he wasn’t allowed to return until he saw his pediatrician. Immediately, I’m panicked. I’m looking at him and I see nothing wrong and then I notice his eye. It’s all gunky and filled with a yellow discharge. I assume it’s pink eye, but his eye doesn’t appear to be red at all. Anyway, when we get to the car, I call his ped to make an emergency appointment. All the while, I drive to the gas station because my gas light is on. I’m on hold with the doctor for over 15 minute. As irritating as that ways, I tried pumping gas in my car from two different pumps and neither were working. I was PISSED. I thought something was wrong with my car. We drive to another gas station, which luckily worked for us. I was able to get a doc’s appointment for the baby that evening too. As we are leaving the gas station, my car stalls. The engine sounds like absolute death. I call my parents and decide to head to their house to take my mom’s car to the doctor’s office. The commute to the doctor is about 25 minutes, so I didn’t want to chance it. Anyway, we get to the docs around 615pm and are not seen until nearly 830. By this time, all of the pharmacies have closed, so the doctor routes us to a pharmacy out of our area that’s 24 hours. We ended up getting antibiotic eye drops. The doctor ruled out pink eye, but had no idea what the infection could be. Luckily, his eye seems a lot better today, but still a bit goopy. Anyway, while we were at the doctor’s, my mom texted to tell me my car had no oil in it. Whoops. I haven’t had an oil change in well over a year, so that makes sense. My dad fixed the car up and is taking it for a proper oil change this weekend. In the meantime, I’m good to drive.
Today, I am working from home with the baby here. My mom is helping, so that I can get my work done and all of my meetings in. Emerson is napping now. When he wakes, I’m going to nurse him. What a day. I’m completely wiped from last night. We didn’t get home until well after 10pm! I had a half day tomorrow, but I canceled it. Instead, I’m sending Emerson to daycare and working all day from home in case they call me to pick him up early, which they better not. It pisses me off they didn’t call me to tell me he had an eye infection. It’s bullshit they tell me at 5pm when I’m picking him up. I could have made arrangements earlier in the day. On top of that, we go home after daycare. I had nothing with me. No diapers, nothing. Emerson was dirty and smelly from daycare too, so we had to go to the doctors like that. Not ideal. He doesn’t seem too bothered by his eye though. He’s as spunky as ever, which makes me happy.
I bawled so hard yesterday though. It was just too much all at once and I felt so alone. No support, nothing. Spending money on a co-pay and medicine (which our insurance did not cover, so it was more expensive) made me sick. In the end, I figured it out. I moved some things around in the budget to make room for that emergency. I felt extreme guilt and like life was spewing in my face for buying a new couch, Christmas gifts, and boots for myself. I know I can’t live my life waiting for something unexpected to happen, but it did make me think twice about spending any extra money just in case. I’m glad all is well now. I just hope there is a huge stretch between now and the next disaster..
I was talking to my best friend yesterday and she kept telling me that I need to file for child support. It isn’t right that Emerson’s father isn’t paying and that I have to kill myself every month and even worse if an emergency comes up. I get her perspective, but I just know he will be a fucking dick bag about it, so why even open up the can of worms? In my eyes, the guy doesn’t even exist and is just a low life piece of shit. He can take his money and ram it so far up his ugly asshole. Sorry, I’m just really angry that I nearly threw myself into a tizzy over a $20 co pay. It’s really a shame that things are that way sometimes because some fucking dick bag doesn’t feel the need to take financial responsibility for a human being he helped create. On the flip side, no amount of money is worth losing any more time with my baby. I hate having to work all week and not being able to see him, so fuck that. I deserve every bit of extra time outside of work with Emerson. Okay, I'm done bitching today. I'm allowed to have an opinion sometimes...And this isn't even an opinion. It's fucking facts.
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