Mummy's random thoughts!

This entire blog will probably just be random thoughts and scattered, so bear with me…

I’m smack dab in the middle of reading “Gone Girl”. It’s absolutely incredible. I wish I could just continue reading it without ever having to put it down. The bus ride this morning felt way too quick. I literally bookmarked at the height of the story! So, here I am wondering what’s to become of Amy and if Nick will be found guilty of her disappearance and possible murder. Ah, the suspense!

What else is going on in the land of Ashley? Not too much. Dad brought over the carpet yesterday for the playroom. Pretty exciting. My sister also gave us a TV to put down there. She also gave me a bookcase that I’m going to repurpose into a make shift closet for Emerson’s bedroom. I know that sounds insane, but I found it on Pinterest and I know it’ll look absolutely adorable when I’m done with it! In addition to that, she gave us a side table too. I plan on spray painting it. I just haven’t figured out what color yet. Maybe a sunny yellow?

I’m nearly done with all of my Christmas shopping. I didn’t go crazy this year. I’m sure everyone will understand. I did put a lot of thought into everything though, so I think that’ll more than make up for the lack of gifts. My parent’s went Christmas shopping for the baby. Wow. I don’t think they left a thing in the store! Because they purchased so much, I’m not buying anything else for him outside of an activity table, or something like that. I haven’t decided yet. My mom asked me what I’d like for Christmas. In true Ashley fashion, I said diapers and grocery store gift cards. She gave me a frown and told me she wanted a list of “real” gifts. I don’t care about myself enough to WANT anything. I just want things that will HELP me. It’s so hard to be whimsical now. I just want to do what I can for the baby anyway, so getting diapers and gift cards would be amazing. I have to throw him a first birthday party a month after Christmas, so I just want to make sure I get all of this stuff out of the way now, so I can start saving for that.

In case anyone was wondering, Emerson slept very well last night with no fight at bedtime. I needed that. I just hope it’s a growing trend and we have many more nights like that. I did wake up last again today. I need to figure out what the heck to do about my alarm! I know, I was just talking about this yesterday, but I always forget and then BOOM. I wake up late!

I really need to get my hair done. It’s been 5 months since I had it all chopped off. I wish every single day that I NEVER did that and I had my hair back. I absolutely HATE it now and it makes me feels so ugly. At least with my long hair, it looked okay if I couldn’t straighten it, or do it every single day. With this haircut, I just look a wreck if I can’t do my hair, which I NEVER can! It has barely grown in 5 months. I’m hoping once I have it dyed again that it makes it look a little bit better, but I have a really long time before it grows all the way back out again. Makes me sad.  I loved it when I first did it, but that only lasted maybe a week, or so. It’s just lifeless and dull, which makes me look even more lifeless and dull. My sister and I were having this conversation the other day. She said “well, at least you’re skinny” I said being skinny doesn’t matter if you are just ugly. I know that sounds very harsh and I am not saying this for people to unload compliments on me. It won’t work anyway. It’s just the way I feel. I just feel ugly. It’s the hair. My hair was always my lifeline and I cut it all off. What the fuck was I thinking?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I have to get a lot of stuff done. I hope you guys all have a super day!