So, I know three blogs in one day was already enough, but each day was so crazy and needed its own, or else I’d ended up with a 500 paragraph blog. This blog is just me digging deeper into the issue with my older sister, Nicole….
I did feel bad when she was crying yesterday. I wasn’t entirely sure what the tears were about. I knew she was extremely upset over the comments my mom had texted her the previous day, but aside from that, I wasn’t sure. It sucks the way that things are. I am truly sorry about the demise of our relationship, but have given a full effort to try to repair it. I’m not sure if she sees it that way though. She expressed yesterday that things will never be the way they were before, so I guess that just makes me feel like my energy is better used somewhere else. It’s awfully hard juggling a baby, work, the dog, and house. It seems silly to continually add time into something that is beyond repair in her eyes. I do think it is stupid that things have spiraled so far out of control over the dumbest fight in the world. It doesn’t even deserve attention because it is THAT stupid. I can name 10 things that were done to me way worse than this and I still continued to talk to people and have a relationship with them. To me, this is just the stupidest fight that doesn’t deserve anymore of our attention.
I told my mom that she was being greedy and should have been happy that we all were able to get together 4-5 times in the last month. That’s more than we’ve seen each other over the last 8 months. I told her she shouldn’t have been so pushy and that with time, Nicole might have started to come around more. She really set that back a lot by being psycho on Saturday. I’m not happy that we argued on Sunday though. To me, it seems that she can’t get over Brittany posting about her on facebook. I tried reminding her that I was included in that post as well and I am still speaking to Brittany. I’m not condoning the behavior, but it was also done to me, so she isn’t the only one affected. She fired back that I had posted about her in January. I completely forgot that I posted a screen shot of a text she sent expressing that she does NOT want pictures of the baby and that my friends keep sending her pictures. This pissed me off because people were stealing the photos that I posted on facebook and sending them to her. She never reached out to ask how I was or how the baby was when I delivered. She never asked if labor/delivery went okay either, so I didn’t feel as though people should be stealing my pics and sending them to her. She wouldn’t tell me who it was, so I posted on facebook and told EVERYONE to knock it off and showed that she clearly wanted nothing to do with him, or me, so to please stop bothering her with the pictures. She said she didn’t have time for that nonsense anyway. A lot of people commented and ripped her apart. So, she blames me for people being rude to her when they see her out. She clearly said she didn’t want the pictures though and didn’t have time for it. I didn’t make that up. She wrote a lot of people off a long time ago though because they continued to be friends with her ex-husband. I think people being rude to her stems a lot from that, not me. I’m not going to apologize for posting the truth on facebook. The truth is people need to quit stealing photos of my son and distributing them to her when she wants nothing to do with it. That is for her benefit and mine. If I felt like going back through my facebook, I’d post a screen shot of the status. I didn’t call her mean names, etc. I simply said to the person who sent my sister (I don’t think I even used her name), please stop because she clearly doesn’t want the pictures of the baby and doesn’t have time for this nonsense. I don’t understand how you can be so upset about that when you said it.
I am sorry that things have spiraled so far out of control. I am sorry that we no longer have a relationship and Emerson is missing out on getting to know his aunt. I do still love my sister and have tried to make things right several times. I’m not saying that we have to be best friends, or close like we once were, but the way it is now is just totally unacceptable. I don’t want to mend things for my mom. To be honest, my mom needs to quit being so narcissistic. None of this has anything to do with her even though she likes to make it all about herself. I didn’t tell my sister all of the awful things Nikki was saying about her. It did become a bit overwhelming because she was trash talking A LOT. Yes, I trash talked at times too, but she was literally obsessed with it. It doesn’t make it any better on either part though. Brittany should have never taken to facebook and attacked my sister’s friend. She really has nothing to do with this even though she seems to take the brunt of everyone’s frustration. Yes, my sister has changed a lot. Some for the better and some for the worse. I say for the worse because she put her family on the back burner well before all of this happened. I did defend her again this morning though and told my mom that she is happy and just living her life. Whether or not that includes us all the time is beside the point. Some people prioritize differently. Unfortunately, her friends come above her family right now. I told my mom she needed to just accept it, deal with it, and hope one day that it changes.
I would love for all of this to be a thing of the past, but it is awfully hard to make 4 girls see eye to eye. Hell, It’s hard enough changing the perception of one woman. Imagine trying to coordinate 4 different opinions and versions of the story. In the end, we all are family and were really close. I would absolutely love nothing more than to get back to that point even if it is slowly like we were doing. No one is ever going to agree on one story and what happened. We are all always going to feel one was more wronged than the other. We all owe each other an apology for the shitty way we’ve acted over the last eight months, even Nicole. She hasn’t acted 100% right either and the problem is she feels as though she has acted appropriately. There were definite mean things done directly to myself and Britt too. Even down to the time she invited everyone, but us, over for Christmas Eve. That was horrible. I was 9 months pregnant too. It sucked not sharing that part of the holiday with the family. Everyone needs to just shut the fuck up and get over themselves. I am sorry for any part I had in the entire situation and wish that I could go back in time and change things. I can’t make that happen on my own though. Everyone needs to own up to their part and grow up!
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