I’ll try to not stink up this blog with more talk of the skunk, but my landlord disposed of it yesterday. So far, I haven’t see anymore. I am so sick and tired of having to take Kodie out on the leash though, so when I get home tonight, I’ll be in triage mode ensuring she can no longer go underneath the shed, or behind it. She should be able to use the yard, so as long as I can see her and she isn’t underneath of it, I am happy. I don’t know if there are skunks still inside/underneath of it though. I guess we will find out. I still will be very cautious and not let her outside when it’s dark. I’ll reserve the leash for those times, but I’m sick of having to take her out during the day. It’s hard with the baby because he’s on the move. I can’t leave him in his chair anymore. He rolls right out of it. He is a rolling machine. Yesterday, he rolled from his back to his belly and then smashed his face into his blanket that was the floor. Tears galore! I have no idea why he did that. He holds his head up so well usually! Needless to say, the baby came with me when I took Kodie outside and it was just a mess. Kodie was pulling on the leash. At one point, I put Emerson in is crib, so that I could take Kodie out. I figured it is a contained area and safe, so I could step out front for 2-3 minutes to let Kodie pee. Emerson rolled in his crib and was stuck on his belly. What the hell?! So, that ended that idea. The only place I feel he is safe is in my arms. That can’t occur 24/7.
When I picked him up from daycare yesterday, he was having a ball in the exersaucer. He was playing, bouncing, giggling, and just having a great time. He was holding himself up so well too. I didn’t think we were ready for anything like that, but clearly we are. After daycare today, we are heading to Walmart, so that I can buy him one. I priced them and found a few for around $40-$45, which is within our budget. I wasn’t worried about toys for him because he was too small to really play with anything. Aside from his activity mat, chair with dangling toys, and a few rattles, he has nothing. Now that he’s rolling, he’s entirely too big for the mat and the chair doesn’t hold his interest anymore. It’s time for an upgrade. The exersaucer will be a great edition!
When I saw him playing in it yesterday, I felt sad for a few minutes. I honestly felt like the world’s worst mother for not having enough toys at home. All I kept thinking was “I cannot afford to buy you one of these, buddy” My budget is so freaking tight. I’m lucky I even have enough food in the house for myself to eat. (I went grocery shopping last night and spent $40.00). Anyway, I pulled up my budgeting spreadsheet today, moved a few things around, and found that I do have enough to purchase the exersaucer. I’m so glad. He deserves the world and I know I won’t always be able to give it to him, but if I can at least give him a few things here and there, I’ll be happy. I can’t expect him to just lay on the floor playing with a rattle for this rest of his life. I do my best. Daycare is so costly. It literally costs more than my rent and I’m not even sending him every day. Typically, there are 20 working days in a month. I can only afford to send him 17 days. I can’t even really afford 17 days, but I have no choice. I’ve been taking off 1-2 days a month and then there has been at least 1 holiday a month when my company is closed. That’s the only way I’m able to save on daycare.
I know I talk about money and finances a lot. I’m just being honest. These are actual challenges a single mother faces. I realize couples face these same hardships, but this is all on MY shoulders. I don’t have someone to collaborate with to come up with new solutions. I have to figure it out for myself. I am not looking for a handout though. I feel very prideful that I’m able to put a roof over our heads and to pay the bills. It isn’t always awesome knowing I can’t buy him everything that I want to, but I’m happy that he has what he needs. He does need activities and toys that aid in his development though. I won’t back down from that. I can’t expect him to lay on the floor staring at the ceiling all night. The kid needs something to play with. At least I know he won’t be spoiled!!!! Bad joke. I’d absolutely love to spoil him. I had to buy him a pair of pjs this week and an outfit because he’s running out of clothes fast. I’m trying to at least buy him one of each every paycheck, so that I am at least keeping up a little bit. He still needs a raft for the pool, but I’m holding off on that until the water warms up. It’ll be at least a month before that happens.
Tomorrow is my first playdate. I’m so excited. We’re just meeting at the local park. I thought it was an easy ice breaker. A lot of us don’t know each other that well. While the kids play, the parents can split their time getting to know each other and playing with their kids. The weather is supposed to be nice too. I’m going to bring some blankets to put down, so that the little babies can roll around. I hope it goes well and everyone is on board to having more!! Aside from the playdate, we’re just going to my parent’s house. The pool is officially up and running, so I’m anxious to get some sun. Emerson won’t be sun bathing though. He loves being outside, so I’ll put his swing in the shade, while I sit in the sun. While he takes his nap, I’ll utilize the pool. It’s a win for everyone! I plan on bringing Kodie over with us on Sunday. She deserves a little playtime herself.
Alright, that’s all I have for today. I hope everyone has a really nice weekend!
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