I know I’ll regret this later, but I skipped going to the Laundromat this morning. Probably not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. We don’t have more than 1 load, but that includes all of my towels!! During his party on Saturday, the kids used a couple of my towels that were hanging in the bathroom. I’m not a household that has 52 towels either. I have about 8 towels and I used all of them within the last week. I have no idea how, but I did. I’ll take a few of my parent’s towels until I do laundry on Sunday. I was just so tired this morning. I knew I was working from home, so I had no big urgency to get up because I had no commute. I only had to take the baby to daycare. He only woke up one time last night too, so that was nice. I slept from about 10-330am and then again from 3:45-5:30. He went to bed at 8:45pm. It was nice semi-sleeping in this morning until 5:30am. I didn’t want to get up. I’m so glad it’s Friday though and we have nowhere to be tomorrow morning!
I changed his bottles today. I spoke with his teacher about it too and she was on the same page as me. She laughed in the middle of me talking about how hard its becoming pumping 20oz just to send to daycare.
“I’m sorry for laughing. I just have been there and I know exactly what you’re going through”
It was nice to hear that. I speak about breastfeeding like everyone is going through it. It’s become a part of me and my life. Most of the time, people just give me weird looks because they can’t relate It’s so nice when someone gets the struggle. Its real! So, I sent 5 4oz bottles instead of 4 5oz bottles. I’m sending the same amount, but I broke it out differently. I also gave them the okay to feed solids at 3pm. He was only getting them at 8 and 11am. I’m hoping he comes home today with an extra bottle. Now, I’ll still pump and try to get 20oz, but knowing I only have to send 16 (if this works the way I think it should) takes the stress off of me. The doctor said she still wants Emerson eating 20oz of breastmilk a day and then obviously eating solids as well. He’ll definitely be getting that if he eats 16oz at daycare and then I nurse on demand at home. Typically, he eats 1 time after daycare, 1 time at bed, and 1 time in the middle of the night. He isn’t eating a lot in the middle of the night, or before bed because I feed solids right before that feeding. I’m sure he’s getting at least 4-5oz between all three of those feedings, so we are on track! I know I sound nuts, but it isn’t the easiest figuring out this damn food intake. I had it figured out, but then when you throw solids in there, it kind of throws you out of whack. I’m not pulling formula from a can. The milk comes from me, so anything I do can affect that supply. That’s why I was so afraid to decrease his bottles down even though I know he’s fine and getting extra from solids. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a petrifying thought thinking your milk supply could diminish in an instant. I’d be absolutely devastated. I’m still going to pump just as much as I was before decreasing, but now I’ll actually have a stock built up. I want to start trying the sippy cup more, but it would be nice if I could put some breastmilk in it. Now, I’ll have that luxury because I’ll have some extra leftover!
So, this is probably TMI, but I don’t care. I started spotting earlier in the week. This happened to me a few other times, but it always went away as quickly as it came on. I have an IUD in place, so my period will probably be scattered from that, but the breastfeeding is supposed to keep it away as well. When I started spotting earlier in the week, I had really bad cramps. Before I got pregnant, I had the easiest periods. I never had cramps either. They were always so light and short. I hope that doesn’t change. The spotting stopped, but it’s been on and off all week with cramps in between (Including now). I also gained 1.8lbs (I know it isn’t that big of a deal). It’s just annoying not knowing if it’s really coming, or going. I haven’t had a period in 17 months! It has been awesome! I know it’ll eventually come back, but I’m hoping the IUD keeps it light and short. Apparently with the Mirena, you don’t even get one every month. You might get one a few times a year. I guess I can deal with that. I’m just not ready for it NOW. To me, getting my period back signifies breastfeeding as slowly losing its power. Again, I know that sounds nuts, but a nursing mother’s brain is wired to think this way. It’s scary though. Thinking how quickly things will change when I’m done nursing. Return of my cycle, weight gain, etc. I better figure something out now! I eat like absolute shit!
So speaking of eating like shit…I’ve had so many leftovers at my house since Saturday after Emerson’s party. I am not one to eat a lot of junk. If I’m splurging, then I’d rather eat fries and a burger over cookies and cake. Well, I can definitely tell I’m pmsing, or something, because I’ve eaten so many cupcakes this week! It’s disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I walked into work on Wednesday, and a woman I work with said to me “Boy, Ashley, every time I see you, you just look thinner” She went on to mention that I’m smaller now than before I got pregnant. I think she thought she offended me and she started apologizing and telling me “I don’t think you look unhealthy. I don’t think it looks bad” “I know you eat very healthy” This made me laugh. I just kept thinking of myself devouring cupcakes in my kitchen all week long. Oh yes, that’s REAL healthy! It gave me a good chuckle, but I do need to slow it down. The last thing I want is to have weight flooding back the second I’m done nursing. He’s dropped a few sessions now too, so I really need to pull back. I just ate some Special K with almond milk for breakfast over my usual pop-tart! See, doing better already!!
My aunt is in town from Erie, so she’s coming to my parent’s house tonight to see the baby. She sent me boxes of gifts when I was pregnant and more presents after he was born. She’s coming over around 4, so I’m picking the baby up from daycare a little bit early. She came in to wedding dress shop with my cousin, who is getting married next year. Aside from that, I just want to wash the garage walls after Emerson goes to sleep, so that I can start painting them tomorrow after bedtime. It’ll probably take me a few days, but that’s okay. I’m just excited to get this project underway. I think I’ll have it completely finished by October. I know, it seems so far off, but I have it divided out to buy the small things that I’m putting in the room. If I could get it all at once, the room could be done now. it’s okay though. I like working for things because it makes me that much prouder when it’s finished Alright. I hope everyone has a really nice weekend. The weather should be beautiful here, so I’m looking forward to enjoying it outdoors!
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