I know it's been a couple of days without an update from me, so I'll start with Wednesday. Emerson, my mom, and I all went to the mall to see Santa. It went well! No tears at all! Santa was great and so great with Emerson. We got the most adorable photo too. Afterwards, Emerson and I rode the train. He had a really good time. My mom paid for Santa and the train. I can't even express how much I appreciated that. I literally would have had $3 left after paying for both. I did get paid today though. I need to pay our bills, buy groceries, and diapers. I had no diapers this morning and ended up having to break open a size 5 pack to send Emerson to daycare. It didn't fit that horribly, but luckily I just sent daycare diapers, so they have his correct size. We'll be stocked up before I pick him up tonight.
After work, I'll be rushing around like a nut ball to run errands, drop our laundry off at my parent's house, and then head back home to put the groceries away before I scoop Emerson at daycare. We're heading to my parent's house tonight to decorate their Christmas tree. My dad is picking my nephew up from school. Their yearly tradition is going to pick out a live tree. it's cute. When Emerson is older, I'm sure he'll be added into that too. Anyway, I'm dropping the laundry off, so I can wash it while we're over there.
Tomorrow, I'm taking Emerson to Dunkin Donuts in the afternoon. Their having a kid's donut decorating event. My cousin's wife is the manager, so I'm sure my cousins will be there too with their kids. It'll be cute. I'm excited to take him and it's free! Afterwards, we'll probably hang out with my parents for a bit. Sunday, I believe we're heading to my best friend's house to visit. Emerson hasn't seem Cameron in a while. The last time we saw Cam, he couldn't even sit up on his own. Now, he can stand, while holding onto random objects, so it'll be neat to see the kids interact.
The best part about this weekend is saving money! I'm sure I'll buy a coffee at Dunkin Donuts on Saturday, but outside of that, it should be a free weekend, which I like. I'm saving all of our pennies for Christmas. I don't get paid until the day after Christmas, so I need to finish up everything with this paycheck. I'm done shopping outside of Emerson's stocking stuffers and a few things for the dog. I just need to buy gift bags and gift wrap, which I'll get at the dollar store.
I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing for Christmas Eve dinner. Because everyone is coming over so early, I was thinking of scraping a full dinner for appetizers. Sausage cheese meatballs, Stuffing spinach balls, and mini mac and cheese cups sound pretty darn good to me. I was also going to make a cheese and cracker tray into the shape of a Christmas tree. Additionally, I'm going to make a Red Velvet Trifle. I just keep going back and forth. I want everyone to feel full enough, but have enough variety. Maybe I can buy mini rolls for the meatballs. We can make mini meatball sandwiches, which sounds pretty darn good. I definitely want to set everything up really cute too. It's my first year hosting a holiday and Emerson's first Christmas. I just want it to be really nice.
The only people coming to Christmas eve are my parents and younger sister. So, let's back track a bit. The last few years, Nicole (older sister) has hosted Christmas Eve, which we always had at her apartment. It was always really nice and something we looked forward to. We don't really visit anyone outside of my parents on Christmas, so switching it up was a nice change of pace. Last year, she wasn't speaking to my sister, or I, so she did not invite us to Christmas Eve. My parents and nephew went, which meant Britt and I had to fend for ourselves. I was 9 months pregnant too. It was my last Christmas before the baby. I was very pregnant, so not being with my family was really disappointing. Britt and I went out to dinner. It was nice, but even so, I'd rather be with my family.
In April, after I got my house, I decided that I wanted to take on a holiday because I actually lived close enough and had the space to do so. Nicole was still not talking to us and I didn't want a repeat of being alone like last year, but now with Emerson. He deserves to grow up with a sense of family, especially at the holidays, so I decided to do Christmas Eve at my home. Again, she was not speaking with us at this time, so I wasn't really taking anything away from her. Over the year, she has warmed up a bit, which I've blogged about previously.
Let's fast forward to Thanksgiving. Nicole told us repeatedly about her company's holiday policy and how she had to work on Christmas Eve night (230pm to 1230am) and on New Years Eve. She also had to work the entire night on Thanksgiving Eve night. She told us several times. She was quite upset about it and even went into detail regarding petitions, etc. At that point, I didn't mention my hosting Christmas eve because it was a moot point due to the fact that she worked all night and wouldn't be doing anything anyway. I felt a sigh of relief because now I didn't have to:
A. feel the disappointment when she declined my invitation
B. feel guilty about hosting Christmas Eve at my house if she intended on doing something at her house
C. feel bad about putting my parents in an awkward situation
After Thanksgiving, her and I had a conversation via text in which she stated AGAIN that she worked on Christmas Eve night. Now, the entire time she was telling us this, I thought it was strange. I doubted that her company was really making her work on Christmas Eve night because she never had to in prior years, but how would I know? Maybe the policy changed. I did think it was weird though. She always had a morning shift the night before Christmas. I let it go though and didn't mention my holiday plans because again, it was a moot point. After that conversation, I've sent her 6-7 text messages over the last two weeks that she's ignored. I have no idea why she isn't responding to my text messages, which mainly consist of pictures of Emerson, but I did find it strange. I also mailed her a Christmas card that she never thanked me for. Again, I did find this odd. I just figured she flopped back to not liking me again. Well, it all sorta seemed to make sense on Wednesday night...
My mom got a text message from her inviting just her and my dad to Christmas Eve at her house. What?! Not only was she not including everyone, but she was now inviting them over when she told ALL of us several times that she had to work all night! What the fuck? So, my mom writes back and tells her that they already have plans to come to my house and that she knows I was inviting Nikki, which those were always my intentions, but she seriously beat it into our heads over Thanksgiving that she worked all night, so I just dropped it. I have no idea why she all of a sudden flip flopped like this. My mom suggested that my parents come up another day and she responded that she had to work anyway. So which is it? Do you work, or do you not work? Were you initially lying and setting it up, so that you didn't feel obligated to have us over and you could spend it with your friends, or something? Did that fall through, so now you had to back peddle, so you could spend Christmas Eve with someone? I just don't get the games.
My dad was really annoyed too after my mom mentioned the whole fiasco to him. They are still mourning the death of the dog like you wouldn't believe. Wednesday was the first day I was there. My dad packed up all of the dog's food and bones for me to send home for Kodie. In the midst of that, my mom gets this bullshit text. I can see playing these games when you're 13, but not nearly 33. It's Emerson's first Christmas. These holidays are all about the kids now, not us. Of course my parents want to see the baby the night before Santa comes. On top of that, they aren't going to make me and the baby sit alone in our home with no one to spend it with. That's absurd. Brittany doesn't have Isaiah on Christmas eve, or Christmas morning. So what? She was going to leave Britt to spend Christmas Eve ALONE too? It's not right. I thought we were getting past all of this bullshit, but apparently I was wrong.
I texted her and reiterated the fact that she told us so many times that she worked all night on Christmas Eve and sent a screen shot of the text message of her saying so. I asked if her company changed her hours and said if so, that was nice of them. I also told her she is ALWAYS welcome at my house. She has yet to respond to my text message and I doubt she will. I'm just so tired of the fucking disrespect. I still have to get her a Christmas gift too. I bought her multiple gifts last year and had my parent's take them over to her. I never even got a fucking thank you. I know she bought us some things this year. I have no idea what, but it really makes me feel like I should buy Emerson another gift and not even waste my damn money. Clearly nothing has changed. I feel like she likes doing this shit to ruin the holidays. I refuse to let her do that though. I am just so fucking sick of it. BE NORMAL. Why is she so damn weird??
You know what else is sad? I don't even refer to her as Aunt Nikki to the baby. She isn't around enough and doesn't make effort with the baby at all, so why call her Aunt? It's like having a dad come in and out all of the time. They shouldn't get that privilege either. She never spends time with Emerson, or asks about him either. I should just quit sending pictures and shit. I did think things were starting to look up. That definitely isn't the case now. I don't even care anymore. Stay the away if you're going to ruin everything.
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