Mummy's mummy is annoying

I got into a tiff with my mum yesterday. She is always in this sick competition over who has it worse. I don’t understand why. We were talking about babysitters and I mentioned that she had an array of options when we were younger. My aunt always took us overnight. She loved having us. Every Wednesday, my parents were in a bowling league, so my cousin/aunt would babysit us. My mom scoffed at me and said “Well, I only got out once a week!” I laughed. The first and last time I’ve been out was in July when I went to happy hour for 2 hours! I don’t really mind not going out. It doesn’t interest me. I’d rather use my time for other things, but the subject only came up because my sister’s birthday is in ten days. She desperately wants me to go out. I am not interested in the bar scene, so I suggested going to get sushi as an early dinner. My mom would obviously be the only babysitter I have to choose from. She just makes everything so damn difficult. She only sees the baby because I bring him over to their house. She’s been a hell of a lot better than she was when he was first born, but she still doesn’t make the 8 minute drive to my house to alleviate me having to lug a ton of crap to their place. I haven’t said anything because it’s nice for us to get out of the house, but it still does bug me. She constantly tells me that I have it easier than she did. I don’t really understand how. Yes, she had 3 children fairly young, but she always had my dad around AND she didn’t have to work until my youngest sister was in kindergarten, so she never had to pay for/use daycare. I don’t understand how I have it easier as a single mother. She had so much support with her mom, my dad’s mom, and the fact that she has a ton of siblings, which most were around when we were growing up with their kids. She’d send us to my aunt’s house ALL of the time to be babysat overnight too. I just find it so strange that she’s always out to prove that she had it a lot worse than I do. First off, I don’t view having a child as having a bad situation. I love Emerson and he is amazing! I think it’s a ridiculous point of view to have. Secondly, who is in competition over having something worse than another person. Isn’t it usually opposite and competition over who is best? Not only does she try to stack her situation raising my sisters and I against me raising Emerson myself, she is constantly telling me she has it worse NOW! She is constantly prancing around saying “Well, I had to work at 4:30 this morning!” Whoa, whoa!!!!!!!!!!!! Back up!! My job NEVER stops. I am up several times a night nursing my son, working all day, handling all errands/chores, then taking care of him all night with no break. I don’t feel sorry for ANYONE who has to work. She thinks because she has a job the world stops with her. We should all cater to and sympathize over her having to work. How can I feel sorry?! You chose that job and you certainly chose that shift. She has a 5 minute commute into work and typically only works 6 hours! I just can’t stand this mentality. I told her yesterday that I wish she would stop making everything into a competition and at least recognize that I do a good job. She thinks my job is a joke and she certainly thinks caring for a baby is a cake walk by yourself. It really pisses me off. I’m so tired of her watering down my life and making me feel like she is the almighty and I don’t have a fucking purpose!!

After work yesterday, I ran to the store to get more breastmilk storage bags and socks for Emerson. So far, I have 16oz stocked. I should be able to stock at least another 8oz this week. It’s coming along slowly but surely. I’m not trying to have a million ounces stocked, but just in case I get sick, or something I need to be prepared. I feel better knowing I have a little on reserve.

When I picked Emerson up from daycare yesterday I was told he had an incident report. An incident report is an accident report for anyone who might not know. Anyway, I didn’t realize what was wrong with him until I walked over towards the teacher holding him. He had huge scratches deep in his forehead and face. It looked awful! I guess while the kids were all playing another baby got ahold of him and scratched him. I know he’s scratched babies before at daycare, so I couldn’t really be mad. He scratches me all the time. It’s funny because the first thought anyone has is “Were they watching him?” No, they just let them run amuck. They don’t watch the kids at all. They just let them beat the hell out of each other. Of course they watch them! They don’t separate the kids all day though. They don’t designate corners for each kid to play individually. That would be stupid. Babies grab and pull. They are learning to use their hands and don’t really know any better. The best we can do is keep their nails short, but even that isn’t always effective. After he had a bath last night, it looked a lot better. I cleaned his cuts up pretty well, but he still looks like he was in a fight with a cat. I felt so bad because the scratches do look painful, but he didn’t seem too bothered by them.


Last night, while Emerson napped, I watched The Brittany Murphy story on Lifetime. Wow, it was awful. The actress cast to play the role of Brittany looked absolutely nothing like her. It was just super awkward! She wore bad wigs and was on the heavier side. I don’t have a problem with bigger people, but Brittany Murphy was a freaking stick! It was just weird watching this girl play her when all the bad gossip/rumors surrounding Britt were about her being anorexic and having a drug problem. Um, it was kind of hard to believe the storyline when the girl playing Britt was obviously not starving. It was just weird and made me think of Brittany Murphy in a bad light. They could have done a better job. I’m so disappointed. I was looking forward to a great biopic. That definitely was not portrayed in that movie!

That’s about all I have for today. I hope everyone can find the positive in their day!